Just Said Yes June 2011

Out of state Bridal Shower...........how to handle registry?

Christina , on September 29, 2010 at 12:53 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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My mother and I are giving my sister a bridal shower in our hometown and my sis lives in a different state. What is a good way to handle the registry? Don't want her to have to ship her gifts back home but thinking that asking for gift cards or money is rude. Or maybe just not ask for gifts at all? My mother suggested that we have my sis register with a store that people can buy online and ship directly to her home. Has anyone been in this situation before?


  • FMS, the barefoot wife!
    Master August 2010
    FMS, the barefoot wife! ·
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    I would spread the word that because of her living out of state, to please give gift cards or have the gifts from her registry shipped to her home.

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated October 2010
    Amanda ·
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    Bed Bath & Beyond lets you ship it directly to the bride's house. I think Macy's does, too, since we have got some gifts delivered to our house from the Macy's registry. My shower was at my mom's house (2.5 hour drive), but I was able to drive most of my gifts home. Anything left over my mom brought down when she came to visit.

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  • C
    Just Said Yes June 2011
    Christina ·
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    Should we indicate this on the shower invite? I am not very comfortable with the idea of telling the guest what they should bring for a gift. Does anyone have suggestions on how to indicate on the invite?

    Amanda, I wish we could drive them to her but the shower is in TX and the bride is in NC.

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  • Aspasia Phipps
    Devoted June 2008
    Aspasia Phipps ·
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    Showers are all about opening the presents: that is the main entertainment and the whole point of a shower. You can have a "bridal tea" instead if you just want to invite people to get together before the wedding (and that would actually more traditionally proper when the honoree is so closely related to the hosts).

    But if what you really want is a shower, I would go with the tendency of showers to be based around a theme, and with the old-fashioned expectation that (since showers are a gift-mandatory function) the gifts should be fairly modest anyway. Have a "smaller than a breadbox" theme, and ask all your guests to bring something that would fit inside a breadbox (or if that's too big, a teapot, or some such thing). Make a game of "testing" each gift by trying it in the teapot, and you give the teapot as a gift at the end of the shower.

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  • S
    Beginner September 2011
    Shelly ·
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    So many things are shipped and like another person said showers are about opening presents. Don't get worked up and just know you will be shipping everything down to yourself. Have fun enjoy your family and friends but put a little money aside to ship stuff back home.

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  • Sharlean
    Devoted October 2010
    Sharlean ·
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    No but even though my bridal shower was in my city I have registered at places that were online only.

    www.uncommongoods.com and Amazon

    Sears and Target are also very common in all states.

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  • Jessie Lyn
    Super June 2012
    Jessie Lyn ·
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    My sister got married then moved to Cali (her husband is stationed there), so she had to move a lot of stuff. But you can rent space in ABF's Semi's (and drop off and pick up at their warehouse) or a pod from them and have it delivered to your home. If you have to ship more than one or two items this is the cheapest way.


    Also, for my sister's Baby Shower, we sent a poem-note (which isn't on this computer, so I'll have to see if I can find it later) that was sweet and basically said that they were registered at Baby's R US and they ship it free directly to the Mom & Dad if the purchase is over $50 (I know Bed Bath & Beyond does something like this also).

    But I would try not to worry, and just put aside some money to ship things back.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2011
    Karin ·
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    I have this problem as well. My fiance and I have to go to 2 different states for 2 our showers. So not only are we paying for our wedding but now for all the airfare to the showers. I understand the "ettiquete" is to pay to ship all the gifts home but I dont think it's very fair. I am hoping to find some idea that pleases everyone

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  • G
    Just Said Yes April 2012
    Graziella ·
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    I'm having the same problem. My shower is in New York and I live across the country. We are simply mentioning on the invite to that if gifts aren't small enough to fit in a suitcase to please ship to my address. I don't think that is rude, all of the guests are family members and close friends since we'll be having a destination wedding.

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  • Leiana
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Leiana ·
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    Out of state Bridal Shower...........how to handle registry? 1

    Here is an idea, my sister lives in Georgia and we live in Illinois. We might do this for her!
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