Our parents don't care

Hi! So there is something big that's been bothering me.

I've been married once before, to an extremely horrible and abusive man. We have been divorced for over 6 years. My fiance is wonderful, and this is his first marriage. We are eloping just the two of us because our families are pretty toxic and we know they would ruin any day that's not about them.

Here's what's bothering me: our parents arent acting like this is important or special. Our parents haven't offered to help planning wise or financially with the wedding, no one threw us an engagement party or bridal shower, no one asks us our plans, and neither of our parents have asked for our registry information or anything...when my fiance told his mom we were getting married, one of the first things she said was "Did you even have a ring?" In a mean aggressive way. I told my fiance so long ago I didn't care about an engagement ring because we are poor and not getting an engagement ring would allow us to get much nicer wedding rings, and the first thing his mom did was make him feel bad about it.

My parents haven't directly said that they dont care enough to help or that it's because this is my second wedding, but I can't think of any other reasons. My first wedding was so long ago and only cost $2000 (and i paid for some of it as well) back then, so its not like they spent a crap ton of money that got wasted on a short and ill thought out union. I married an extreme abuser who hid the crazy until we were wed. Isn't eventually finding a good guy and marrying him something to celebrate? Am I asking too much by the fact that I expected at least one of our 4 parents to ask us...anything...about the wedding other than the date?

Both of us come from abusive childhoods and crappy parents, should I just chalk this up to more crappy parents being crappy? I just want some reaffirmation that I'm not crazy for expecting my parents to care a little more that I'm getting married. I'm feeling very hurt that no one really cares, and so is my fiance.