Our Last Names Are Too Similar!

I'm not in that dilemma, but I don't plan on changing my last name.

I’m not in this situation, but it doesn’t sound like you have any desire or reason to change your name except to be able to sign “the __ family,” which doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to change your name. I would just keep your maiden name.

Plenty of ppl keep their own names. If thats what you want then just keep your name. Ppl will probably still call you mrs. Husband name, or youll get mrs. Maiden name - thats up to you. Its not unacceptable.


Whether or not u change ur name legally, you are still always going to be his mrs.

Totally agree with everyone. We have children from previous relationships but are not having children together. I am taking his last name. Do what you want! This day & age- anything goes!

I didn't change my name and people still refer to us socially as "The [HisLastName]s" and I'll still sign wedding cards and such in the same way. I've never had an issue come up because of it, so it really comes down to what you want to do.

I’m traditional so I would vote for changing your last name to his

My husband and I have the same issue aha Tan and Pan are too similar and so I honestly didn’t bother changing my name or hyphenating cause it sounded weird

I did not change my name.

People occasionally address things to us as DH's last name, which ... irks me... or try to call me, Mrs. DH's last name, which REALLY irks me, but, for the most part, they hyphenate them together My Last Name - His Last Name.

That's what I do for my friends who haven't changed their names.

I kept my name. There would be no confusing it with my husband's at all, but it's MY name. I didn't spend most of 6th grade perfecting my signature just to have to change it. Plus not changing it saved me having to deal with changing my name on everything from my driver's license, to passport, to voting registration, titles to vehicles and my home, etc. If you change your name there are a LOT of records that need changing.

You can keep your legal name and still be "The Sch___s" casually if you want. While dating, I've had friends address cards to "MyFirst and HisFirst MyLast" and "HisFirst and MyFirst HisLast". As far as I am concerned we are both "The MyLasts" and "The HisLasts" at the same time. Not legally of course, but that doesn't matter at all when people send us holiday cards or talk about us among friends. There are famous people with stage names, ordinary people with random nicknames, trans people whose chosen name differs from the one on their birth certificate, etc. Your legal name doesn't have to be same name people call you by.

I personally want to change my name (so that I can have a fresh start from my somewhat toxic family and difficult history), but I totally understand wanting to keep it! For your situation, I wouldn't change my name since it is an expensive and long process for just changing a couple letters. You can totally refer yourselves as The (blank) Family on unofficial stuff though just for simplification if that works for you!

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Why does it bother you if they don't know though? I mean, it's fine to keep your last name and hyphenate it, there's no judgement there. But I don't think it's unusual for people address you as a family unit if they don't know you.

But it is SUPER RUDE if people know you changed your last name or you have corrected them and they still don't start addressing you that way!

Also, my husband and I have similar last names. Both 7 letters with "erm" in the middle of them. My name would be like Merman-Bermal. Changed it for confidentiality purposes online, but I thought it would sound STUPID for me personally to hyphenate my name, because it would sound stupid.

View Quoted Comment Because my social media is still my last name. We were introduced at the reception with our own names, because I'm an actor and I kept my name for career purposes, because it's the 21st century and many people don't change their name, because I've made it clear for years I wouldn't change mine.


I think one should always ASK about that kind of thing.
It's 50-50 in my friend group. Easy to get wrong. Easier to get right by asking.

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I agree with the easier to get right by asking thing for sure.