Megan
Just Said Yes September 2022

Our Last Names Are Too Similar!

Megan, on November 4, 2020 at 1:47 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
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My fiance and I have last names that are just two letters apart from being the same.

All throughout dating, it wasn't too much of a problem... Other than occasionally being asked, "Are you two related?!" and getting mail that has our last names mixed up.

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We have long joked about hyphenating our last names, but now that we are actually engaged, I am wondering what in the world to do! Although it's a funny idea, our last names both start with Sch- and saying the hyphenated name out loud just sounds like you have marbles in your mouth.

Although the names are so similar, I'm partial to my last name, and he's partial to his. It also seems kind of pointless to go through the trouble of changing a name, when it's BARELY changing.

However, I do see how taking his last name would be easier in the long haul. Then there's no more confusion, it's easier to sign things as 'The [LastName]s', etc.

We are not planning on having children, so there's no reason to take one name or the other for the sake of carrying on a family name.

The only other thing I can add is that we found a really perfect wedding hashtag, #[Groom]IsMeganHerA[HisLastName]... (Get it, Megan instead of "making"?). But this hashtag is assuming I end up taking his last name.

If anyone has ever had a similar dilemma, I'd love to hear what you decided on!


14 Comments

Latest activity by Cassidy, on November 5, 2020 at 3:30 PM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I'm not in that dilemma, but I don't plan on changing my last name.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I’m not in this situation, but it doesn’t sound like you have any desire or reason to change your name except to be able to sign “the __ family,” which doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to change your name. I would just keep your maiden name.
    • Reply
  • Adrienne
    Dedicated October 2021
    Adrienne ·
    • Flag
    Plenty of ppl keep their own names. If thats what you want then just keep your name. Ppl will probably still call you mrs. Husband name, or youll get mrs. Maiden name - thats up to you. Its not unacceptable.


    Whether or not u change ur name legally, you are still always going to be his mrs.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Totally agree with everyone. We have children from previous relationships but are not having children together. I am taking his last name. Do what you want! This day & age- anything goes!
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Dedicated May 2018
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    I didn't change my name and people still refer to us socially as "The [HisLastName]s" and I'll still sign wedding cards and such in the same way. I've never had an issue come up because of it, so it really comes down to what you want to do.

    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag
    I’m traditional so I would vote for changing your last name to his
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    My husband and I have the same issue aha Tan and Pan are too similar and so I honestly didn’t bother changing my name or hyphenating cause it sounded weird
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    I did not change my name.

    People occasionally address things to us as DH's last name, which ... irks me... or try to call me, Mrs. DH's last name, which REALLY irks me, but, for the most part, they hyphenate them together My Last Name - His Last Name.

    That's what I do for my friends who haven't changed their names.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    I kept my name. There would be no confusing it with my husband's at all, but it's MY name. I didn't spend most of 6th grade perfecting my signature just to have to change it. Plus not changing it saved me having to deal with changing my name on everything from my driver's license, to passport, to voting registration, titles to vehicles and my home, etc. If you change your name there are a LOT of records that need changing.

    You can keep your legal name and still be "The Sch___s" casually if you want. While dating, I've had friends address cards to "MyFirst and HisFirst MyLast" and "HisFirst and MyFirst HisLast". As far as I am concerned we are both "The MyLasts" and "The HisLasts" at the same time. Not legally of course, but that doesn't matter at all when people send us holiday cards or talk about us among friends. There are famous people with stage names, ordinary people with random nicknames, trans people whose chosen name differs from the one on their birth certificate, etc. Your legal name doesn't have to be same name people call you by.

    • Reply
  • Annika
    Expert November 2020
    Annika ·
    • Flag

    I personally want to change my name (so that I can have a fresh start from my somewhat toxic family and difficult history), but I totally understand wanting to keep it! For your situation, I wouldn't change my name since it is an expensive and long process for just changing a couple letters. You can totally refer yourselves as The (blank) Family on unofficial stuff though just for simplification if that works for you!

    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Why does it bother you if they don't know though? I mean, it's fine to keep your last name and hyphenate it, there's no judgement there. But I don't think it's unusual for people address you as a family unit if they don't know you.

    But it is SUPER RUDE if people know you changed your last name or you have corrected them and they still don't start addressing you that way!

    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag

    Also, my husband and I have similar last names. Both 7 letters with "erm" in the middle of them. My name would be like Merman-Bermal. Changed it for confidentiality purposes online, but I thought it would sound STUPID for me personally to hyphenate my name, because it would sound stupid.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Because my social media is still my last name. We were introduced at the reception with our own names, because I'm an actor and I kept my name for career purposes, because it's the 21st century and many people don't change their name, because I've made it clear for years I wouldn't change mine.


    I think one should always ASK about that kind of thing.
    It's 50-50 in my friend group. Easy to get wrong. Easier to get right by asking.
    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with the easier to get right by asking thing for sure.

    • Reply

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