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Our children (18 & 15) are only family members not invited, all others invited including babies and children

Anonymous, on July 3, 2024 at 3:06 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 4


Hi all. So, our niece is getting married (my husband's side of the family). All of the cousins and grandnieces and grandnephews were invited. The cousins range in age from mid thirties down to babies. Our two children, ages 18 and 15 were not invited. Our children were the only family members not invited.

My husband was married previously and those children were invited. Our two children were not.

My husband has a good relationship with his niece and is very close with his niece's father (my husband's brother). I guess that is what stings him the most.

My question is, what to do? Obviously, our children were singled out. Children from ages 1 to age 5 will be attending, so it isn't that children weren't invited. Our children were excluded when all others were invited. Obviously, this taints our relationship with the couple. Do we simply not go? Do we go and just try to ignore that we are the only family attending who wasn't allowed to attend as a family? It is a same sex wedding and excluding two family members when all others were invited seems mean and exclusionary.

Are we wrong to think that the couple is sending us a "message" that they don't want us to attend?


4 Comments

Latest activity by Presley, on November 9, 2024 at 8:38 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
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    That does seem odd to only exclude your two children. Did you reach out to the couple? It doesn’t really make sense to invite all children but those two. My first thought would be that it’s an oversight or something.
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    CM ·
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    Unless something happened, it does seem strange. Are you sure your children didn't get a separate invitation? Could it have been delayed? Or maybe they don't know how to address an envelope and assume you know they are invited?

    I would not just refuse to go without asking to see if there had been some kind of a mistake. Under the circumstances I think H can ask his niece or his brother if they intended to include your children.

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    Anonymous ·
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    I should have stated that the wedding is on the opposite coast, so with travel, we would need to be away for 4-5 days. Of course we won't be leaving our children home for that amount of time, especially since we will be across country.
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    CM ·
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    H can call his niece and let them know that while you'd love to attend, you're uncomfortable leaving your kids alone for that length of time, and wanted to let them know asap for their planning purposes. Her response will tell you whether or not it was an oversight. Don't be afraid to contact her. Without more information this really makes no sense. If H is close to his brother, he might feel more comfortable talking to him first.

    The only thing I can think of, and it's not a justification if the entire rest of the family is invited, is if the couple never met your kids.

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