Order of speeches / toasts

Unless they are graciously paying for the entire wedding, then I would have the speeches the way you want them. Yes, they are generously contributing by paying for food and alcohol, but weddings are so much more expensive then that. You and FH are paying for everything else (I assume), so y'all should have it the way you want.

I’ve never been to a wedding where any parents have made any toasts or speeches so that seems fairly uncommon to have them make a toast or speech at all. Maybe they would say something at a rehearsal but for the actual wedding, the only ones I’ve ever seen do speeches are the MOH and BM.

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Thank you.

Yes, we are paying for more than half the wedding ourselves. There's some additional background here as to why I don't want them acting like they paid for the wedding so I'll stand my ground!

I think typically the bride’s father does do the welcome toast, especially if the bride’s parents are hosting. I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride or groom gives a toast, so maybe that is throwing them a little bit.

That being said, if you like the order you suggested, I agree you should stand your ground! The fact that they paid for food and drink doesn’t really matter. I also don’t think people are drawing any conclusions about who paid based on toasts, so that’s silly if that’s really your mom’s reason for wanting your dad to go first.

Could you compromise and do two welcome toasts (your dad and your FH), followed by the best man and MOH (which are usually the more laid back and fun toasts anyway)?

I don't think so, I've seen the MOH or BM go first and obviously they weren't hosting. My fiance & I are doing a welcome speech, and my father is paying for the entire wedding.

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I understand this. My parents are contributing a lump sum. My FH and I are paying for 2/3+ of the wedding. While I appreciate their money, most of the reason we are having a wedding is to please them. I don't understand why something as petty as the order of the speeches can get everyone's panties in a twist haha. Good luck!

We are not speaking at the reception, we are doing our thank yous at the rehearsal dinner. I also have never been to a wedding where the bride and groom give speeches. My dad will probably do the opening welcome. I don't really think it should signify who pays by order of speeches. It's just kind of traditional the father of the bride gives a welcome/toast. Otherwise why don't the mothers or FIL speak? That being said, your order is fine. Since speeches don't signify who is more important/who paid.

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Right?!

I'm a Stephanie too - so it must be something with parents that name their kids Steph

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Haha! I've noticed there's a lot of Stephanies on here haha