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LaraLouM
Super May 2019

Optional After Wedding Brunch

LaraLouM, on December 16, 2017 at 10:36 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15

Hey all, we are having a DW in Key West. Most of our guests will arrive the Thu before the Saturday PM wedding. We will be having a paid by us cocktail greet thu pm, rehearsal dinner fri pm and of course wedding Saturday. We would like to have an optional brunch Sunday morning but we can not cover the cost for that as well, I just can’t strech the budget that far. Is it tacky to offer the brunch and notify the guests they will pay their own way if they choose to attend?

15 Comments

Latest activity by DoggoMom, on December 17, 2017 at 8:15 PM
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Don't offer it. Whatever you invite people to attend, you host.

    Can you cut the rehearsal dinner for anyone not rehearsing?

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/optional-after-wedding-brunch/aecb31beddc057ff.html#

    I wouldn't honestly worry about the Sunday morning. My experience in catering ......attendance is not great. A lot of people want to get on the road.

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  • Rya
    Devoted April 2018
    Rya ·
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    My mom says rehearsal dinners are for those in the wp and oot guest. But that might be different at a destination wedding as everyone is out of town.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    With all due respect to mom, she's incorrect. Rehearsal dinner are to do a quick run though (which no one needs anyway) and thank your BP/parents.

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  • Sos0033
    VIP September 2017
    Sos0033 ·
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    You’re already offering so many extra events, I think the brunch is not necessary. People will probably want to get a head start on going home anyway. If you do decide to have it though, you have to host (aka pay).

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  • LaraLouM
    Super May 2019
    LaraLouM ·
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    Yes our rehearsal dinner is less rehearsal, more get everyone together who flew in for the wedding really. I wouldn’t feel right not inviting some of the guests considering everyone is making such a long trip. What about if we just did a word of mouth invite, “hey we are going to brunch if your group would like to join” type thing instead of having it on the invitation? Most people are planning to stay a few days after the wedding as a vacay since they are already there.

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  • H
    November 2018
    happeningmom ·
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    Our rehearsal dinner will have family, bridal party (to include spouses and kids), and Out of town guests. We are anticipating 44 people for that meal.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    And this is how weddings get so expensive.....

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  • Oceankissed
    Super November 2017
    Oceankissed ·
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    We didn't have a rehearsal but we hosted an RD for our out of town guests - we had about 24 people attend. We also did a brunch like you discussed - we just mentioned that we planned to eat breakfast on Sunday morning at the hotel restaurant buffet @10am. Most people who stayed at the hotel joined us but people came and went, it wasn't a formal get together.

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    I would cut the Thursday cocktail party. There's no need for that when your rehearsal dinner is a welcome dinner. Get rid of that and host the brunch instead.

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    Rehearsal is definitely necessary for some people, and it's really nice to have your family/BP have dinner the night before. Don't skip it.

    On the OTHER hand, there's no way we would have ever made brunch the morning after our wedding. Don't bother.

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    "Rehearsal is unnecessary as is the brunch. Skip it."

    While certainly not required by etiquette standards, IMO, destination weddings operate under a different standard than local weddings. Or at least, they should. When you're asking all your guests to take time off work, fly to a destination, and spend money on a hotel for the whole weekend, you should try to host more than just the reception. If that means cutting the guest list or scaling back on flowers or whatever, so be it. Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but if you choose to have a DW, I just think the standards are higher, and that's coming from someone who hosted a DW.

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  • LaraLouM
    Super May 2019
    LaraLouM ·
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    Thanks everyone, I agree when asking people to travel you must host extra. I think I will look at cutting the cocktail party and doing the brunch or a different kind of outing instead.

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  • Shortandsweet
    Dedicated January 2018
    Shortandsweet ·
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    You can do a more scaled down "brunch"- more of a drop off of food, bagels, lox, mixed smoked fish and some frittatas. Not as expensive but also still hosting. 1-2 staff helping out with clean up, build your own mimosa bar and lots of Gatorade.

    FH and I are planning on doing that for the brunch, and are hosting it at the community room of our apartment building.

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  • Rachel
    Savvy June 2019
    Rachel ·
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    Definitely do not offer a brunch if they have to pay for it. Regardless, they would be paying for their breakfast, so they should just be on their own the next day

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  • DoggoMom
    VIP August 2016
    DoggoMom ·
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    I'd skip the cocktails on Thursday. We did a DW with a hosted welcome dinner on Friday, wedding Saturday, and farewell brunch on Sunday and covered guest costs for all three. We had some guests come earlier in the week and some stay past Sunday. There were still group gatherings but it was casual and word of mouth so everyone picked up their own tabs.

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