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Dedicated November 2020

Opinions needed!

__, on May 11, 2020 at 3:38 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
My FH and I are getting married in late Nov of this year. We haven’t postponed anything yet, but we have a plan B-1 and plan B-2. Plan B-1 is if we’re able to, to have a small ceremony and to have a little reception afterwards (pizza and soda type thing) but to then have a reception and maybe a ceremony next year, so we can have the wedding we originally planned. Plan B-2 is to only do the small thing with nothing planned later. Now I do want an actual wedding and having his family & friends and my family & friends together is important to me, but here’s the question for Plan B-1:
Will people still care in a year? Especially since we’ll technically be married by then. His family and friends are in TX so it’s more of a question of if they’ll want come to AZ (where we live) for the wedding in a year. Will it even still feel like our wedding? Will others see it as gratuitous? I want people’s honest opinions. I hope they would all be understanding about the circumstances, but I have anxiety and have always assumed people don’t care and would not go out of their way. Would you still care to go or would your thinking be “they have their cake and now they want to eat it too?” Advice, opinions and knowing what others are doing is greatly appreciated! I know it’s a little premature since nothing is postponed for us yet, but we’re having to think about these things now, so I don’t get panic attacks later in crunch time. Thanks! 🖤

9 Comments

Latest activity by __, on May 12, 2020 at 7:55 PM
  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    My fiance and I are having a similar conversation. It depends on how you sell it to them. If you choose plan B2, let them know how important it is to you and your FH to make vows in front of your friends and family (like a vow renewal) and celebrate with them.
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  • _
    Dedicated November 2020
    __ ·
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    We could frame it as a vowel renewal. I definitely like that idea and that way it may not feel so weird. And yes, expressing it to them how much it would mean is something we would have to do! Thank you!
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Well I think in light of the situation this is a very common event so I think that people may still care. Now yes realistically you may not have a lot of people travel out of state. It's really all comes down to what you and your future husband want so I say go ahead and plan for be one since it is very important that your families are present so I say just do that and maybe somehow explain on your wedding website or something that just due to the situation with coronavirus this is what you're planning. I think anyone that truly cares for you will go regardless of the fact if you're married or not. But I personally feel with weddings don't really worry about the number of people that attend right of the people that care about you the most to attend and I think close family that you speak too often and you explain the situation will be there. This was speak and text so I hope this all makes sense
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  • _
    Dedicated November 2020
    __ ·
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    Thank you so much for your reply! You’re right, the ones that do make it a priority are the ones that really care and the ones we want to be there. I needed to hear that! And we’ll definitely have to put something on our website explaining. Since pandemics don’t happen all the time and this is so new for everyone I really hope that people are understanding. Thank you, again! This is just what I needed to hear ☺️
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Any time. I am glad. We need to support each other. I think because of all that is going on people are much more understanding about various situations. I hope you get the perfect day you want! Smiley smile

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  • Anna
    VIP October 2020
    Anna ·
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    So with all of this happening, I keep thinking about my coworker who’s been married several years now, but still went through a similar situation. His wife’s father had a really bad health scare and they didn’t think he’d live long enough to walk her down the aisle, so they had a very intimate and low key wedding and then for their 1yr anniversary they had the big vow-renewal & celebration.


    People still came because they understood the situation and they loved Chris & his wife.
    People definitely understand this current crisis we’re all in and I’m pretty sure they’re looking forward to fun celebrations like weddings and vow-renewals.
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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Absolutely people will still care! So many wedding receptions and celebrations will be postponed on varying timelines - this is going to be the new norm for a little bit! But people will definitely still be excited to celebrate with you! Smiley heart

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  • _
    Dedicated November 2020
    __ ·
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    That’s really beautiful that everyone was still there for your coworker. And thank you for your reply. I think you’re right. And hopefully it would be something for people to look forward to like you say!
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  • _
    Dedicated November 2020
    __ ·
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    Thank you so much! I think I just get caught up in my own head and anxieties, but you’re right, this is just normal for now. Smiley smile
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