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Mary
Beginner September 2023

Opinions needed: Which would you prefer as a guest?

Mary, on October 21, 2020 at 1:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 42
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Our top venue that we鈥檙e in love with is a hotel, and we'll be having about 120 people invited. All of the family and friends we're inviting are people we are closer with (so-- no one feels like we're reluctantly inviting them, and we know everyone well. It took a little bit to convince my dad that we couldn't afford to invite every member of his very large Italian family, so cutting it down to 30 family members so that I can have 30 friends on my side was no easy task! 馃槄)

The place is also within 30-40 minutes of the majority of our guests. Because of this, I'm assuming most of our guests will NOT be staying overnight, with the exception of our out of town guests, which includes us.

In my experience, unless someone is IN the wedding or is super duper close with the couple, they don鈥檛 seem to take off work on a Monday after a Sunday wedding. My concern is people would be leaving 9-10pm for a wedding on a Sunday, and I鈥檇 really want the evening to feel loose and go until about 11.


Would you prefer a Friday wedding starting at 6:30 or so to give everyone time to get there from work, and going until 11:30-12? Cons: you鈥檇 probably have to leave work early. BUT you don鈥檛 have to worry about waking up the next day and can let loose all night.

Or, would you rather a wedding be on a Sunday going until 11? Cons: you have work to worry about getting up for work the next day, or you have to use a vacation day / take off Monday. BUT you don鈥檛 have to worry about leaving work early or taking off Friday.

Does this mean you鈥檇 probably leave earlier? Also in your experience, have you noticed guests taking off work the next day after a Sunday wedding? Or have you noticed anybody annoyed by either a Friday or Sunday wedding? Have you ever experienced anyone showing up late to a Friday ceremony? (This is one my parents are insisting on happening.) What day did you wind up choosing?

Thank you in advance for your help!!!

42 Comments

Latest activity by Nemo, on October 26, 2020 at 12:53 AM
  • Shelly
    Devoted January 2022
    Shelly
    • Flag

    As a guest, I would prefer a Friday wedding. I'd much rather leave work early or take Friday off to arrive on time and get to celebrate as long as I can with the couple, than have to leave early on Sunday to prepare for work on Monday. I would feel more relaxed knowing that the next day after the wedding was a weekend, allowing me to less loose a little more! Another thing to consider is whether or not your guests have children. If you choose Sunday, then your guests with children will have to also leave early to get them ready for school the next day!

    If you're wanting more people to stay longer to celebrate, then have your wedding on Friday!

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan
    • Flag

    As a guest, I would prefer a Saturday wedding. However, if this is not an option, I would prefer a Friday wedding starting at 6:30. I would likely get a hotel room for a Friday wedding if I lived over 30 minutes away. As a guest attending a Sunday wedding, which I lived 30+ minutes from, I would likely leave pretty early (between 8:00-9:00).

    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica Online
    • Flag
    I would much rather a Friday wedding. I would rather leave work early on the Friday and be able to stay and enjoy the wedding.
    • Reply
  • C
    Rockstar January 2019
    Cassidy
    • Flag
    Sunday weddings should start and end earlier because as you stated people have to workfhe next day. We attended one and I believe it started around 2 or 3 and then we left right after dinner (my husband gets up early for work and we live an hr away).
    Unless you were a sibling or extremely close friend I鈥檇 be likely do decline both a Friday wedding and a late Sunday wedding.
    • Reply
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride
    • Flag

    If you really want people to stay late, don't do Sunday. Regardless of what time you say the event ends, it ends when the guests decide it ends; there is no way to force people to stay later. If I had to get up for work the next day, even working from home, I wouldn't stay until 11 if I had a 30-40 minute drive. I would be out by 10 and I wouldn't drink as much either.

    For a 6:30 Friday wedding, I would probably take a half day if I was in the office or try to work remotely. But I could potentially swing it just by leaving work early - take a quick shower, get dressed, get going and be there by 6 or 6:15. And that's factoring in my hour-long commute. I would be willing to stay late for a Friday wedding because I didn't have work the next day. So between those two, I would go for Friday.

    Either way, you might find that people don't party as hard because these are non-standard wedding times. In general the only thing I am a little annoyed by is the assumption/expectation that I will take PTO for a local wedding...it feels like "oh it's cheaper to have the wedding on an off day, so we will just make our guests take PTO". PTO is a valuable commodity for a lot of people and that expectation would be a bit off-putting.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online
    • Flag
    As a guest, I would prefer a Friday wedding! I'd look at it as a great start to a weekend by getting to celebrate the wedding, and I'd usually be happy to take vacation time from work to attend if needed. Sundays are difficult unless the wedding starts way earlier in the day (such as, a brunch wedding, or as long as it ended by early evening).
    • Reply
  • Llcool_Kay
    Devoted July 2021
    Llcool_Kay
    • Flag
    As a guest I would prefer a Friday wedding. The pros: I can start my weekend earlier, after the wedding I have the rest of the weekend to stay in the area if I needed to. And who doesn鈥檛 love a Friday night party?
    • Reply
  • K
    Devoted October 2021
    Kristen
    • Flag
    Friday, no contest. I would leave the wedding immediately after dinner on a Sunday (~7pm) and honestly be really irritated that you chose to save a small $ for yourself and disregarded my time by picking that date. Taking PTO on a single Monday is to something that not everyone can even feasibly do- it sets you back all week.
    That said, yes people will be late on Friday. Chances are some people will be late regardless of the day, so have a plan for what happens for late arrivals and don鈥檛 worry about what can鈥檛 be controlled.


    • Reply
  • C
    Dedicated November 2020
    Crystal
    • Flag
    Hi! Congrats! I鈥檇 prefer the Friday wedding as a guest. I鈥檝e been to a Sunday wedding with your time frame with a farther drive from most of the guests and we left early back to back of each other. The bride and groom had to push up their sparkler exit and such to ensure people were there. I鈥檇 recommend Friday. Not all guest will need to leave early to prepare and those involved in the wedding or much closer to you would as you say take off Monday for a Sunday wedding, so they鈥檇 take off Friday. Plus, who doesn鈥檛 love a longer weekend.
    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you so much for your response! And thank you for insight on school-aged children! I honestly wasn't even considering this too. Best of luck to you!

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Totally agree on a Saturday wedding. We just can't swing it, but this is great insight. Thank you!!

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
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    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you for your input Veronica!! Best of luck to you Smiley heart

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  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yeah, this seemed to be the general consensus on Sunday weddings I've found. I was a bridesmaid for my cousin a few years ago, and she had hers on a Sunday. I didn't notice whether people left early, but I know for my fianc茅 it was difficult for him with work the next day. I definitely want to be as considerate as I can for how much I can afford so I think Friday seems to be the better choice. Thank you for your input!

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Totally understood on PTO. That's why I tried to word it as "take off" in addition to a vacation day, because that's actually how my own work situation would be. I've only ever attended Friday or Sunday weddings, and always thought I would make a Saturday happen for this reason in not having to inconvenience our guests in ANY way, but we just can't swing it. Thank you for your input, and best of luck!!

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly
    • Flag

    As a guest I would prefer a Friday option.

    However, I have been to 1x wedding before, which was on a Sunday. I took off from work that Monday afterwards - point being, if they want to be there, they will make it work.

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Absolutely, it definitely makes sense that Sunday weddings should start earlier. I really want to inconvenience people as little as I can without sacrificing the party atmosphere I'd like there to be (and can afford!). Friday seems to be the winner! Thank you for your insight Lisa!!

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Totally!! 馃コ Thanks so much for your input Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Totally understood about Monday PTO. In my own work situation, I don't have PTO so I know it would be an inconvenience for me whether it was a Friday or Monday wedding. I've only ever attended Friday or Sunday weddings, and now shopping for venues myself, I'm finding it's really not a small amount of money being saved by not choosing a Saturday, it's generally a very large difference (especially for a Sunday, and we just can't swing otherwise.) It seems like Friday will be the winner for us, so planning accordingly for late arrivals is something we'll have to make extra consideration for. Thank you for your input Kristen and best of luck!!

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner September 2023
    Mary
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you so much Crystal! Smiley smile I appreciate the personal experience, thank you for your insight! Friday seems to be the winner. Best of luck to you!!

    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Expert May 2019
    KYLIE
    • Flag

    I've never been to a Sunday wedding, but I have been to a Friday evening one. I did skip the ceremony, as I was working about two hours from where it took place. It was a Catholic event so the ceremony was in the afternoon, then a large gap, then the evening reception. I went home a little early from work to get ready and my then-boyfriend drove us to the reception about an hour away. It wasn't the most convenient but not terrible either.

    I think in your situation, Friday works better.

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