Roopchandwedding
Dedicated July 2021

Opinionated friends/family

Roopchandwedding, on August 19, 2020 at 3:06 AM Posted in Planning 0 15
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How do you politely tell friends/family that it’s not their wedding and to hold their opinions?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Roopchandwedding, on September 24, 2020 at 4:49 AM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I kind of just ignored them aha everyone will always be opinionated in some way or another so I just shook it off
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  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride ·
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    “Thanks for your opinion, I’ll give it all the consideration it deserves.”

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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    Don't tell them anything about the wedding. It's none of their business to begin with, unless they are paying. Just... don't discuss it at all. (That's why I ended up here. I didn't want to be the person talking about planning all the time... but I did need to talk about it!)

    If they bring it up, just say, "All I do is think about the wedding, can you help me think about something else?" ... or something to that effect.

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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Exactly as Rebecca has noted, don't discuss it with others if you don't want any kind of feedback. I've kept everything very hush hush and the only person I've done any discussions with is my FH. Anytime I've said anything, there's been a comment. At the end of the day, you'll never please anyone so just focus on you and your FH and what you envision.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    My mother-in-law was super opinionated so we would just let her talk then kindly tell her that while we valued her opinion we had already made a decision on whatever she talking about. We also learned never to bring the wedding up to her.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I would refrain giving them any information.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    You could laugh it off and say “great idea, are you planning on paying for it?”. Or tell them “thank you for the idea, we will keep it in mind”. Or just ignore them. I did a little of everything throughout my planning process.

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  • Haley
    Savvy July 2022
    Haley ·
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    I struggle with the same! I’ve found that not discussing anything wedding related helps reduce the chance of them bringing stuff up. But when they go out of their way and ask or make demands/suggestions I just say “good idea” “I’ll keep it in mind” “I already have a plan for that but thank you”. Sometimes they’re rude when i say those things but at the end of the day they’re not the ones paying nor is it their day. I’m sorry you’re also dealing with it as it can add unnecessary stress. Just stick to your guy and just try to confide in those who you trust the most. Don’t let others dictate your big day or get under your skin. One of my bridesmaids has been helping me keep others in line by saying “it’s not your day” for me to them 😂
    Best of luck and happy planning!
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  • Roopchandwedding
    Dedicated July 2021
    Roopchandwedding ·
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    Lol thank you. Yes, I have a lot of people voicing their opinions in areas where they really shouldn’t by saying “I really don’t think you should...” lol and what I really want to say is I don’t remember asking you what we should do - but when it’s an in-law you have to be nice 😂. Thanks for your advice. I’ll keep it in mind.
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  • Roopchandwedding
    Dedicated July 2021
    Roopchandwedding ·
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    I did that - I hope they don’t think I’m being rude
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  • VIP August 2020
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    These are great suggestions! Another one that can work to end the conversation, depending on how ridiculous the person/idea is, is, "we haven't made a final decision on that yet."
    The most important thing is to get on the same page with your partner about not accepting outside suggestions so neither of you accidentally agrees to something you don't really want.
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  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
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    Love this and all the snarky-ness it implies!!! Smiley laugh gotta remember this one!!!

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  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
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    My current boss/friend (was friend first, and he runs his family business, it's me, him, and his older brother working here) he and i have known each other for 10 years, we act like brother and sister all the time.... he got married june 6, 2020 and every time i mention something about what i am thinking about doing he says "oh you should do this or that like me and my wife did..." or "why would you do that?? u need to do this" .. (insert eye rolling face) umm...no... i just listen to him and then ignore it, lol... moving on.... lol.... i stopped sharing stuff with him.... i want to stay under 5k total... my boyfriend and i want to pay cash and want a small scale wedding, no major frills..... my boss comes from a family with MONEY and they spent a LOT on their wedding, had to replan due to covid, and before that happened, his mom and sister went with bride to pick dress out and his mother said she would buy the dress and his mom/sister convinced/forced her to get a more expensive dress than she wanted... she looked amazing, but still.... not the point... they were gonna have an over 300 guest reception now postponed til next year.... i am an introvert and NOT looking forward to this large a party.... my own guest list is at 114 right now, and some prolly won't come...so with no positive comments from friend/boss, i stopped sharing.... it's about what me and MY man want... not what guests THINK we should do...i am dreading comments i will receive when i am more in full swing planning mode..

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  • Roopchandwedding
    Dedicated July 2021
    Roopchandwedding ·
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    Wow, he’s a guestzilla/groomzilla! Sorry you have to go through that. I hope it gets better for you. It’s getting a little better for me, but still people have their opinions. My mom learned to stop asking. In the beginning it was difficult for her to understand why I am having a multi day wedding(3-4 days). Her main concern is that she will be too tired once we hit day two. The things people worry about! Now we laugh when she asks questions because she knows that my fiancé and I have things under control.
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  • Roopchandwedding
    Dedicated July 2021
    Roopchandwedding ·
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    It’s insane how opinionated people are. Sometimes it’s not even in what they say - their body language says it all. But we will definitely take your feedback into consideration because the last thing either of us need is someone expecting their suggestions on our special day!
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