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Savvy July 2020

Opinion needed please

Stacey, on May 2, 2020 at 11:05 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 15

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Hi Ladies. Have a question that I would love your opinion on. This will be mine and my FH second wedding. We are a little bit older (late 40’s). We decided we wanted an actual wedding versus just going to the court house. So I am wearing a white dress down the aisle. Anyway, I have 4 kids from previous marriage and FH has 3 from his. The 7 kids are who will be in our wedding. So no maid of honor or best man basically. Just kids. They range from 25 years old down to 12. I have 1 boy and 3 girls and FH has 2 boys and 1 girl. Technically, the girls will all be all wearing the same dress and the guys also matching. However, how I saw the line up was different then FH and my oldest daughter things it’s strange as well. Please tell me if this seems weird and if it does sound weird please tell me your thoughts on what you would do. So, what I envisioned was FH at the alter, then we would have the kids walk down the aisle (some together). My son will be waking me down. However, once everyone is down there I envisioned that my kids be on my side and his kids beside him. All in chronological order. Does this sound weird? This would mean one boy (my son) next to me and he would have his daughter in the middle of his two boys. I mean this isn’t our first wedding and I think all our guests won’t think anything about it. However, I’ve had FH and oldest daughter think it won’t look right. However, if we put boys on one side and girls on the other then how do we decide who goes where because my son would be right next to FH and I feel that his oldest son should be there. Help!?!?!

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Stacey, on May 4, 2020 at 1:37 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 2, 2020 at 11:09 PM
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I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer here. You should discuss it and come to a compromise.
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Savvy July 2020
Stacey · on May 2, 2020 at 11:23 PM
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Thanks. We have discussed it and can’t seem to come up with a good idea. So, I thought I would present it here to see if my idea is weird or if there was a better idea. FH isn’t against it completely and it’s whatever makes me happy he just still thinks it’s weird.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on May 3, 2020 at 12:19 AM
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I don't think that's weird at all. As I was reading it, I kind of assumed that would be the scenario. But, as Caytlyn said, trying to come up with some sort of compromise is an option. Maybe have your son join in on the end of his side? That won't look weird since he will be the last one up with you and will just walk over to the end on the groom's side rather than squeezing into the middle somewhere.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on May 3, 2020 at 12:19 AM
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I think your idea sounds lovely! Don’t worry so much about what things “look like.” I love weddings where it’s clear the couple has made it their own, and not just followed tradition because that’s what everyone else does; it makes it so much more personal. Plus, I see many brides nowadays asking their guy besties to be a “bridesmaid” (there’s a cute term for it, I just can’t remember it). Your guests will completely understand why who is standing on each side to support their parent.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on May 3, 2020 at 7:27 AM
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I wouldn’t worry about what it looks like. I actually love your idea and think that makes the most sense but you and your FH have to agree. Having your kids on your side symbolizes those standing up for you on they day and same for him. Very sweet! Good luck.
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October 2020
Fleur · on May 3, 2020 at 10:55 AM
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Trying to put myself in your shoes and I just know that I would want my kids on my side! Which by default, means his on his side lol. Like someone else said it's symbolic of them supporting you in the union. Go with it, and cheers for your happy marriage!
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on May 3, 2020 at 11:51 AM
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It makes perfect sense to me!
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Beginner June 2020
Spenser · on May 3, 2020 at 1:22 PM
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Doesn't look weird at all. I have been to weddings where both bride and groom have their own kids. The bride's kids on her side, and the groom's kids on his side, no matter if one has more kids than the other and age differences. Making it not only the union of the couple but of both families as well. I am sure it will look lovely.
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Savvy July 2020
Stacey · on May 3, 2020 at 1:39 PM
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Thank you so much!
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Savvy July 2020
Stacey · on May 3, 2020 at 1:40 PM
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Thank you so much. It helps.
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Savvy July 2020
Stacey · on May 3, 2020 at 1:41 PM
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Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback.
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Savvy July 2020
Stacey · on May 3, 2020 at 1:41 PM
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Thank you so much. I appreciate the feedback!
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Savvy July 2020
Stacey · on May 3, 2020 at 1:42 PM
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
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Beginner July 2025
Ruth · on May 3, 2020 at 5:19 PM
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It doesn’t sound weird at all. Explain to your FH that the representation of groomsmen and bridesmaid are usually people that are closest to you (best friend, sister, etc) Traditionally the Bride has all females as Bridesmaids and vice versa. But that doesn’t always have to be the case. I love seeing unique and carefully thought out changes to tradition. Traditions were made by someone who thought it was a good idea for what they were doing. It just happened to be passed down to everyone else. What YOU and your FH want for YOUR wedding is what matters. You might want to consider lining up your children by age? I truly think it will be so much more meaningful to have the people whom you love and mean the most to you standing next to you.
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Savvy July 2020
Stacey · on May 4, 2020 at 1:37 AM
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Exactly! Thank you so much for understanding what I was thinking.
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