Samantha
Dedicated July 2018

Open mic for speeches?

Samantha, on June 28, 2018 at 7:20 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 42
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My DJ strongly advised against opening the mic for speeches for everyone. Hes been a dj for 20+ years and says hes seen it get too long and sometimes inappropriate if you don't control who can do a speech.

I'm very quiet and don't speak my mind often and I can understand where hes coming from. As it stands we only have best man, maid of honor and ffil giving a speech which is fine. But I feel like if someone wants to speak up and say something, they should be able to... Do I tell my DJ I want anyone to be able to or leave it the way it is?

42 Comments

Latest activity by Peter, on July 8, 2018 at 9:18 PM
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Please don’t allow people to just get up and randomly speak. This happened at a wedding we went to and the stories went from somewhat PG to rated X in a very short time as everyone continued to drink. Some of people also talked for 10+ minutes which made it hard to socialize as a guest.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    VIP October 2018
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Thats exactly what hes telling you not to do. You have 3 people doing speeches. Then 10 people wanna say a few words for 5min. Thats about an hour of people talking. Add that to possible alcohol and it could be longer.
    Do what's best for you, but I would listen to your dj.
    • Reply
  • Angelica
    Devoted June 2019
    Angelica ·
    • Flag
    That all depends. If some of the people in your family are long winded I'd leave it. If everyone is like you, then it might work. Ultimately, you know your guests. We're not even having any formal formal speeches because they're not our thing, but we're setting a time limit. Open mic for around ten minutes. You miss the window, you're bumming.
    • Reply
  • Neffe
    Master July 2020
    Neffe ·
    • Flag
    Hi Samantha! If want to allow an open floor for individuals to speak, you should do it; just place a limit on how long they can talk. I’ve seen this occur at weddings and end up working out great. I would also politely ask that they only speak about you and your spouse as it relates to the weddding!
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Dedicated July 2018
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I like the open mic for 10 minutes idea. I've been married before and we didn't have people with set speeches, and only a few people got up and talked, but one of them was my uncle and it was totally unexpected and heartwarming and it made me feel like if there was someone there this time who wanted to say something but didn't get the opportunity that I may miss something like that.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.Sanok
    VIP September 2018
    Mrs.Sanok ·
    • Flag

    I didn't even realize that was a thing that happens. I always thought it was just BM, MOH and Father of the bride. I only ever been to weddings where only a select few people talk and the mic isn't open to everyone!


    I know for us the BM, MOH and my mom will make a speech. (my father passed away so my mom will talk on his behalf.) The mic also will not be open to anyone else.

    • Reply
  • B11
    Super May 2019
    B11 ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn’t open it up. You already have people doing toasts/speeches. I’ve seen this before and it makes me cringe. You’ll either get inappropriate stories, or multiple people saying the same, unoriginal thing just because they feel like getting up.
    • Reply
  • Angelica
    Devoted June 2019
    Angelica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Another bonus to setting the time limit if you want to do open mic, is that they normally will keep that time frame in mind and not go into anything long winded.
    • Reply
  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
    • Flag
    It’s your wedding so you can do whatever you like. However, I have been to weddings where the speeches have gone awry. Alcohol and an open mic are not a good mix. A bunch of speeches can also get boring.

    • Reply
  • MaryEllen
    Expert October 2016
    MaryEllen ·
    • Flag
    Listen to your do on this. No one wants to listen to endless toasts and they aren’t always appropriate.
    • Reply
  • Bailey
    Super March 2019
    Bailey ·
    • Flag
    I would leave it as is. No one wants to sit through speeches that can get long and inappropriate. We aren’t doing any speeches at all, because I don’t find it super important.
    • Reply
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
    • Flag

    Your DJ is right on this one. I've been to weddings where the MOH or BM's speech got long winded.
    That was bad enough. I can't imagine having to sit through random people getting up to speak who don't have anything prepared. Then, there's the chance that no one would get up to speak. Awkward...........

    • Reply
  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
    • Flag
    No. No. No. No open mike. You can’t set a time limit as most people have no idea how long 3 minutes really is, especially with a few drinks in them. If they have something to say,they can say it to your and your spouse directly.
    • Reply
  • NVV2B
    VIP January 2019
    NVV2B ·
    • Flag

    You can do open mic at the rehearsal dinner and then leave the speeches to just those people mentioned above.


    I personally hate open mic at any event, people give similar speeches and drag on and on and on.... its really boring for most guests.

    • Reply
  • FME
    Master March 2018
    FME ·
    • Flag

    No open mic, that would be horrible. A quick 1 minute speech will turn into a boring ass 10 minute speech no guest wants to hear.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag

    No, your wedding isn't the place for just anyone to get up and speak. If someone has something they really want to say/express their feelings, they can write it in a lovely card and drop it in the card box. As a guest, even 3 speeches are WAY too many. We are only doing best man and maid of honor and our DJ asked that we ask each of them to keep it to about 2 minutes.

    If you want to give other family or bridal party members a chance to say something, my dad is giving a little speech at the rehearsal dinner and then one of my bridesmaids wants to say a few words as well. This breaks up speeches and gives the guests ears a break. FH and I will also say something at the RD to thank our bridal party and families.

    • Reply
  • Christine
    Expert September 2018
    Christine ·
    • Flag
    Do what u feel like doing it's your day. I am only letting my two batsmen, maid of honor, matron of honor, and our fathers say a speech if they want. I want to get on the dance floor.. Lol
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    DO NOT allow an open mic. That’s just asking for trouble, especially if people are drinking! Your wedding shouldn’t be an opportunity for anyone to say anything. If it is important to someone to give a speech, then they should at least ask you first! Then you can tell your DJ to allow them to do it. But I wouldn’t let anyone go up without you knowing about it in advance
    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
    • Flag

    Leave it for sure. It completely quickly gets out of hand, to the point where you're listening to speeches for an hour or so. Some people don't know how to time limit themselves, either, so someone could be hogging the mic for a good 20 minutes.

    Listen to your DJ!

    • Reply
  • caitlin
    Super May 2017
    caitlin ·
    • Flag

    Oh man i would not do this, i've seen it go horribly wrong a couple of times.

    • Reply

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