Open Invitation

Ask his parents and family. They must have experience dealing with this and might have some suggestions. I think it's completely reasonable to have a reception for those invited only as otherwise would be too tricky with planning food and stuff.

I would send out formal invites for the ceremony and reception for those you want to invite and then in the paper put something like Sarah and _______ to marry at _________ etc. Family and friends are invited to come witness their wedding (or something like that). Private reception to follow.

That way they know the reception is not open as well and those invited would know the details.

I've never heard of an open invitation in the newspaper (people still read those) regardless if he's a small town country boy. Just do a wedding announcement. There is no way you can plan a wedding and stick to a meal budget when you have no idea who will show up.

It's considered rude and in poor taste to invite people to just the ceremony and not the reception (and vice versa). In a way you're telling your guests they are only good enough to bring you a gift, but not to celebrate afterwards with you. If they are making a big deal about an open invitation you can guarantee the tongues will wag if you don't invite them to the reception as well.

I guess I don't really see it as rude if we clearly say something like "private reception to follow." His grandmother was stressed that we weren't doing the open invite so that we didn't offend anyone by accidentally leaving them off the guest list- my fiance's family is very popular. So I feel like if everyone is invited to the ceremony, we should get to really celebrate with close friends and family. That way we don't have 600 people at our reception when we weren't expecting it.

Are the ceremony and reception going to be in the same place or will it even be known where the reception is? I think this is a disaster waiting to happen, regardless of you stating the reception is private. What if even 10% of the potential 600 ceremony attendees show up at your reception?

They are at different locations. I'm thinking that I would send formal invites to who is getting invited to both and the directions would be in there.

I would have to give him and his mama a big ole hell nah in this!

I agree with the others on this one. Even if that's how its done in a small town, a reception is like a thank you for the people that witnessed your ceremony. You said your FH and his family are popular in their home town. If you say "Reception for friends and family", many in town probably consider themselves friends and would show up anyway. That will cause you to not have enough food/seats/space, etc. I think that if you go with the plan you have stated, you are going to have issues.

You need to find out from FH how this works. Country weddings are different. My FH's roots are in rural Illinois --both of his parents were from there and his cousins do the "invite the whole town" thing because that was the custom. At the most recent cousin's wedding, they absolutely had enough food and drink for the people who showed because the food/drink was scaled down from what is expected at a city wedding. It was stuff like cabbage rolls, beef sandwiches, chips, etc. They held it in a church hall.

If you are a city girl, there is no way to understand this or interpret it. You have to trust FH's side of the family because the rules are different. I lived in a small town for 8 years -- and my parents lived there for 20. EVERYTHING is different.