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Jacalyn
Just Said Yes November 2019

open gifts at bridal shower or not

Jacalyn, on July 8, 2019 at 8:57 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 22

I am having a hard time figuring out what I should do for my bridal shower. I have been to a bunch of showers and clearly no-one wants to watch gift opening for hours. I have about 91 people invited to my shower .. no grandparents. So my future mother in-law has mentioned that she wanted me to open gifts and that she enjoys watching the bride open gifts but to do what I want.. His sister HATES it but says to do whatever I want. My mom finds them boring but says to do what I want. The problem is I don't know what I want. Part of me feels like I want to open some gifts but I think thats not fair to those whose gifts I don't open.. Wrapping in clear is expensive. I hate when the bridal party opens all the gifts and then passes them along in a rush (since I enjoy opening presents). Tradition is usually to open the gifts but I also feel like that can take a very long time with such a large group and make everyone bored but I also don't want to be rude/offend anyone. Help a bride out!


22 Comments

Latest activity by Bride2020, on July 9, 2019 at 3:41 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I think it’s rude to have an event that’s entirely about getting gifts then not even take 30 minutes to open them.
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    I personally don’t like to open gifts in front of people. And a lot of people find it boring.
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  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    The sole purpose of attending a bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts. I would be kind of irritated if I showed up with a gift, but it wasn’t deemed important enough to open it in my presence.
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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    I plan on opening my gifts during my shower. I would be upset and bummed if the bride didn't open my gift. One of my favorite parts of gift giving is to see the reaction of the person receiving the gift.
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  • Victoria
    Dedicated November 2019
    Victoria ·
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    I agree with Trista. Giving gifts is one of my love languages so I LOVE watching someone open a gift I gave!

    Also I’ve seen the cards get separated from the gift and I want to make sure I thank the right person for the right gift in my thank you notes. To me, that’s pretty important but I’ve been to showers where the bride didn’t like the idea of opening gifts. It’s all preference and what’s important to you.
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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Britani ·
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    I just had the same issue at my bridal shower. Invited 108 and ended up with 75 coming. What we did was host the lunch and games at a restaurant and let everyone know if they wanted to come back to my moms and watch us open gifts they were welcome to. (We live about 15minutes from the restaurant and printed out little address with direction cards). I had about 35 come back to the house and we had champagne for everyone. It worked for us because people who wanted to watch could, those who didn’t could leave without feeling rude (some family drove from 3 hours away) and it let my FH be involved in the opening since most of the gifts were for both of us. Honestly with that many people/gifts it took way longer then 30 minutes to open them. I would say we opened gifts for close to two hours. Everyone wants to see and chat about their gifts and it was a fun social event without the pressure of 80 people watching just me.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree with others that I'd be bummed if my gift didn't get opened at a bridal shower. At daughter's shower we did a "gift bingo" game that helped keep guests engaged during the gift opening.

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  • Jessica
    Beginner June 2020
    Jessica ·
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    Couldn't agree more with this! I attended a bridal shower with "gift bingo" and it made the even SO much fun! It also got me talking to other attendants whom I didn't know coming into the bridal shower, which made for a fun environment! Looking back on it, I didn't even realize how much time had passed because even once I had gotten my Bingo, I was going for black out solely for bragging rights!


    That being said, I also loved Britani's idea about having gifts as a "separate" event - it seems like a good compromise and something I might use for my own bridal party Smiley sexy

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  • Katherine
    Savvy November 2019
    Katherine ·
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    In my experience- and having just celebrated my own bridal shower this past Saturday 7/6- most guests prefer the bride-to-be to open gifts bc they love to see the recipient’s reaction. At my shower, my friend that traveled a few hours to be there asked me in front of everyone else when I was going to open the gifts. I just simply said, “I’m not sure...what the proper protocol for that is actually...” and everyone exclaimed”YES! Open them!!!” So, I think if you aren’t sure, you can always get a feel for what you should do from your guests. I’d say more often than not, people want to see you open them because they’ve come to celebrate you and want to see you receive something they’ve selected especially for you. Just enjoy your day! Do what you want. Bingo is fun to play - I’ve done that too. ...And for the record, who cares if someone is bored watching you. That’s not of your concern. They’ll have to navigate those choppy waters solo haha
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    The problem is not the opening of gifts. It is that far too many people are invited to one shower, and that would make gift opening too long. So invite fewer people . . . . By definition, a shower gift is a second gift for the wedding, and is only supposed to be asked of the closest and most intimate of bride's friends and family. I have a huge family, and still find it unbelievable that you have time for 90 close relationships. Perhaps the shower should be split up. And those not all that close should be invited to a no presents bridal luncheon. Separate. To socialize with bride and family with no expectation of this second gift. And those that are left, have in 2 smaller showers. Then you can properly open gifts you receive ( and yes, lots of brides enjoy opening gifts, and lots of us enjoy watching it.) from those who really are close, and only spend a reasonable amount of time doing it, not so long people get bored. You also avoid the perception that your family is extremely greedy, thinking that many people should be getting you two gifts for your wedding. 90?
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  • Jacalyn
    Just Said Yes November 2019
    Jacalyn ·
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    We both have very large family’s!! Not really anyone to cut .. we tried so can’t do smaller🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Hmmm I can see your logic purely because you have so many guests the likelihood is you're going to have so many gifts to open that it would take such a long time.
    I had about 17 girls at my shower and so I opened gifts but obviously that didn't take me long.
    I think I'd skip that portion especially cause it does sound like it'd take way too long.
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  • Talia
    Super October 2020
    Talia ·
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    Personally, I think that is very rude. They came to shower you with gifts. My uncle's wife, doesn't open up my cousin's birthday presents at any birthday party I've been to of hers, which is heartbreaking btw. You spend your money on something for someone to not open it in front of them.

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  • Kiley
    Expert November 2019
    Kiley ·
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    I recently went to a baby shower where the Mother To Be didn't open the presents.. I was honestly shocked. I get a lot of people are not interested in watching and I even hate opening presents in front of people, but the whole purpose of a shower is the gifts.. and not seeing someone open a gift I selected and get a "verbal thank you" kind of rubbed me the wrong way..

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    I agree! I think it is weird to have a shower and not open the gifts you receive there. Sure, it's a time to social and celebrate, but the main event is opening gifts!

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  • Jacalyn
    Just Said Yes November 2019
    Jacalyn ·
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    Thank you so much for all the advice!! This really helped me make the decision to open my gifts!! 💗💗
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Gift are literally the only purpose for a shower - yes you should open them, it's rude not to.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I went to a shower recently where we played a game while she was opening gifts. We set a timer to go off every few minutes and when it went off, the person whose gift she was opening got a small prize! It made it fun, and it also made the gift opening go a bit quicker! Smiley smile

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    My gift opening took 20 minutes, I kind of rushed through it because it was awkward but it took up some time and some people like watching me open presents. Have all 91 people RSVPed?

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  • Jenna
    Super October 2019
    Jenna ·
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    I would definitely open them and keep people a little more entertained with the gift bingo or another game as someone suggested. Also keep in mind that maybe not all 91 will attend, and those that do, may not all gift separately. My shower lists are 49 and 39, but they include a total of 5 children who will not give something separate from their mothers attending, and two couples that would likely gift together. Hopefully your list includes some of those to bring the total down. Plus, some people go in on gifts together anyway.

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