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ashleigharnel
Just Said Yes April 2018

Open bar with habitual drinkers..

ashleigharnel, on October 24, 2017 at 11:46 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 32

My fiance and I originally wanted to do a cash bar because we have family members who have drinking problems. However, when I read here that it was considered incredibly rude and just downright tasteless, I let him know what everyone said here. Both of us have family members who will find any excuse...

My fiance and I originally wanted to do a cash bar because we have family members who have drinking problems. However, when I read here that it was considered incredibly rude and just downright tasteless, I let him know what everyone said here.

Both of us have family members who will find any excuse to drink, and they become overly obnoxious and borderline inebriated.

FH and I are very concerned that they will embarrass not only themselves, but us as well. Two of these people are immediate family members of both of ours, and one is even my bridesmaid.

Any suggestions on how to make the best of it and avoid a risky situation?

32 Comments

  • Jay Farrell
    Jay Farrell ·
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    How would a cash bar help that? NOPE...hire a bartender, don't punish the rest of the guests.

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    @Erin Wood No adult should have to police another person's drinking. I have seen many people that aren't even close to "fall down" drunk get cut off at weddings. Experienced bartenders know to watch people and cut off pre-"hot mess" status.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Beginner July 2018
    Samantha ·
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    I'm always confused why a cash bar will stop heavy drinkers from drinking. I honestly want a reason for this. I've always asked but no one has answered

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  • Kourtney
    Beginner December 2017
    Kourtney ·
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    @Samantha, I really don't think there is one. If people have an issue with drinking, they're paying for them somehow. I don't think asking them to pay is going to stop them

    ETA: I know you probably knew that already, just wanted to throw my 2 cents in because I've also questioned it, and I just don't think anyone has an actual answer

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  • ashleigharnel
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    ashleigharnel ·
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    Because when it's free, you don't have to watch your wallet. You can drink all you want. When you are paying for your own drinks, you are more conscious of what you order because it costs money.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Agree with MrsBdeG, no-one should have to police another person's drinking except paid staff.

    The bartender should cut people off.

    A cash bar is not a deterrent.

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  • Jacqui
    Super June 2018
    Jacqui ·
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    Hire a bartender, and talk to the bartender. Also, does your venue have security? If so, talk to them as well.

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  • Ashley
    VIP May 2018
    Ashley ·
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    They are adults. If they get drunk it's on them

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  • Daniella
    VIP October 2017
    Daniella ·
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    If you have a cash bar they're just going to bring a bottle or a flask and get shitfaced for free.

    Hire a bartender and security, and if you're that worried have your DOC give them a heads up prior to the bar opening.

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  • Shinee
    Expert September 2018
    Shinee ·
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    I have the same worries as you about some family members but my venue will have a bartender who will cut guests off if they've obviously had too much. I don't think it'll be a problem just because my family members are used to being cut off anyways at bars and such.

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  • MoreMoore
    VIP November 2017
    MoreMoore ·
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    We have a bartender and security. We have a few in our group that this is a concern with. But between those two I'm going to trust that no one will get out of hand (also one is my MOH so I feel ya there)

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  • Alforev
    VIP August 2018
    Alforev ·
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    I mean I hate to sound like a broken record, but hire a bartender and make him/her aware of your concerns. Also I wouldn't offer hard liquor.

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