OOT Children invited vs not invited

It's okay to make an exception, it's your wedding, you make the calls.

But you also are very far out. They could possibily find a babysitter by then.

Would they not be able to leave the kids with a friend or family member in FL? I know one of my best friends has already told me that she's going to leave her kids (who'll be under 1 and 3) with her mom when she travels for my wedding so that she and her husband can enjoy my wedding weekend.

We had an adults only wedding (minus the 4 in our wedding party), and we had plenty of OOT guests who had young kids whom they would have had to get a a babysitter for. *shrugs* Those guests either found someone to watch their children, left one parent behind, or didn't come at all. Those are the choices.

I suppose you could just invite those two kids, but then yes, FH should have a say in having his niece and nephew there - compromise.

You've also got some time to think about this. Your invitations won't go out until about 6-9 weeks before the wedding, so don't sweat it right now (and don't mention anything to anyone other than your FH).

Date twin I'm from PA and having my wedding in VA. We have made it clear no children. Maybe you can suggest a nanny service if they do bring their kids, or pay for a nanny to hang out with the kids at the hotel. If your family in Florida still has family in PA who are having their kids watched, maybe they can leave their kids with them. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask OOT guests to leave their kids at home.

Could they find a local baby sitter to take care of them? So they come from Florida to PA and have someone in PA watch them for the night.

Is it someone you absolutely want to come that absolutely won't come without their children? These didn't invite children of friends..only family. We made an except for a gal that has been a very good friend of the family since before I was born. They live out of state and I knew she wouldn't leave her kids behind but it's very important to me that she be there, so we also included her two children. If they often travel without their children or you are only inviting them for your mom's sake I would not invite the children. Then they can decide if they want to attend without them.

We had this same situation. My thoughts were if someone wanted to travel from out of town for my wedding, it would be pretty crappy to not allow them to bring their children. So we are allowing my FH's Texas guests to bring their son. Additionally my 5 nieces and nephews are coming, but all our invites were told no children. If they don't like it, don't come. I also am not a huge etiquette person. LOL Good luck - but don't stress too much about it!

I think I will put Uncle, and Aunt on invitation, and also this family has a 21 year old daughter who is in the airforce, who I would welcome without hesitation on her own invitation. Is that trickier to invite her but not her little brothers?

Invite whatever kids you and FH want. You don't need to include everyone.

We didn't give a pass to the kids that would have to travel. 1. We didn't know them or 2. We had only met them a few times. We rationalized that they weren't a part of our lives, so they got no exception. There were kids we see 4-6 times a year who weren't invited.

One family drove a full day each way to attend and sorted out local childcare. The family with a nanny boycotted, since the centers of their universe weren't invited. We had a fabulous time without them.

I gotta agree with FH. It's kind of crappy to not even invite your niece and nephew but OOT extended families kids can attend?

We did not make an exception for people who live out of state and have kids.

Invite them. I think the exception is fine on this one. They may also be able to get a sitter or you guys might be able to get an in town sitter for them so their children can come with them but not attend the wedding. If they do get invited let your FH invite his niece and nephew if he wants. They are his family and it is also his wedding too. Other people will have to deal with those two exceptions. If you want to make it more acceptable put those four children in the wedding party and tell them the only exceptions to the kid rule were wedding party kids. No guest kids.

We have OOT guests, they had 10 months to find babysitters, and they all have found people local to them to leave their children with. Except one, who couldn't find anyone to watch her son during the ceremony. we found a local babysitter for her. Maybe you can find someone local to stay at the hotel with the kids?

I see the potential for lots of drama if you make this exception. Peoples' kids are hot button issues for them, and I wouldn't do anything that's going to upset a lot of apple carts (and if you do, you can get ready for a lot of "I thought this was a kid free wedding!" comments).

To be fair, I'm also of the opinion that a couple is under no obligation to invite children to their expense, adult weddings. I think you should send the invitation to the adults and let them work it out. I know you really want this person to attend, but if he feels the same way, he has more than a year to make that happen. As Gymrat said, the choice is theirs.

I am having a mostly no children wedding. My brother from out of town is bringing his two and possibly fh's brother is bringing his three. I think as long as it's family and not just random kid invites people will understand.

All of my guests are from OOT and we are having a no-kids wedding. We are recommending a nanny service to our guests.

We invited OOT kids, because 1) my brother and his wife would not have been able to attend without their kids, as they at that time lived in a city where they had no family or friends close enough to look after my nephews for two days, and 2) my bridesmaid and her husband were travelling as well and while they could have left their kids with grandparents, it wasn't fair to invite my nephews and not their two kids (who are niece and nephew to me in all but name anyway).

Sometimes the easiest thing is just to say, no kids and no exceptions.

Are his niece and nephew the only family kids? If they are, you could cut it by making an exemption for your family member and FH niece and nephew, that would be ok. If you really don't want any kids though just stick to your guns.

FSIL used to be a special needs teacher and has tons of friends that could babysit the OOT kids. We plan on welcoming family members to bring their kids out here and then working something out with a friend of FSIL to watch the kids the night of the wedding. The only kids at our wedding will be FG and RB and they'll go home once we're done taking pictures