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Just Said Yes October 2015

Only inviting 1st cousins...is this bad form?

SKlabenesh, on March 15, 2015 at 11:39 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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My question is this: Should we include a note in the invitations explaining that while we would like to invite everyone to the reception, it is just not in the budget? (or something similar...any suggestions?)

Here is some background info: we are an older couple (and the cousins 1st & 2nd are older as well), in our early to mid 40's, and are trying to keep our guest list to 100 people. We decided to only invite first cousins and not their children, or their children's children. This cut about 25 to 30 people. I am not really that close to my first cousins and "less close" to their children and grand children. However, one of my 2nd cousins is getting married 3 weeks before us, the save the date came to the house I share with my mother and one of my brothers and was addressed to the family. I take that to mean we are not bringing significant others. (I am not attending this wedding) Am I making any sense? any suggestions? Thanks!

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on March 16, 2015 at 12:38 AM

Expert April 2015
MeganM · on March 15, 2015 at 11:43 PM
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That's how we did it. Now most of my second cousins are young (I think the oldest is 20 or so) but i thought it was better than saying no children. I don't even know most of my second cousins since my first cousins have all grown up and we all moved apart.
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VIP June 2015
C&S · on March 15, 2015 at 11:44 PM
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I have no clue who my 2nd cousins even are. I'm sure you're fine just inviting 1st cousins.
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on March 15, 2015 at 11:46 PM
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You don't need to include a note in the invitations. You just invite those people you want to invite. However, you should not invite anyone to the ceremony who is not invited to the reception.
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Super March 2015
Charla · on March 15, 2015 at 11:48 PM
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I don't think you need to include the note. We also cut the guest list off at first cousins. I think you can share this information by word of mouth. It's a natural cut off I hope your guest understand.
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Super August 2015
Future Mrs. Y · on March 15, 2015 at 11:50 PM
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I wouldn't include a note but if anyone asks just explain! I don't think it's a big problem.
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Super September 2015
Brittany · on March 16, 2015 at 12:17 AM
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No need to invite second cousins and no need for a note. However, if I'm reading your post correctly, I get the impression you are thinking of inviting all to the ceremony and only some to the reception? That would definitely be bad form...don't do that.
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Master March 2015
Susan · on March 16, 2015 at 12:31 AM
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I only invited 1st cousins except a handful of 2nd cousins. Those that I have helped raise and call me "Aunt Susie" are for sure invited. The rest of the 2nd cousins I have no relationship with and could not pick them out on a street corner. If I don't know the kids, they were not invited. I have a huge family on my Mom's side (16 first cousins, all but 3 live in the area and most are married with kids) If all of them came, that is about 60 people , UH NO.
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Master October 2014
Sarah · on March 16, 2015 at 12:38 AM
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We only had room in our venue for 50 guests. We invited our parents, siblings (and their spouses/children) along with our parents siblings and their spouses. I have a lot of cousins. To keep it fair we drew a line in the sand and didn't invite any of them. I didn't want it to seem like I was picking favorites. All but one were very understanding. The one that threw a fit I haven't even seen in 14 years (and a total of 5 times my whole life)... he's clearly out of touch with with reality and has since been blocked on FB.
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