Only 60% of guests coming?

If your wedding date is still end of July then it was too early to send invitations and ask for RSVPs. There is certainly a chance that some guests might run into unexpected conflict closer to the date which is why a 6-8 week protocol for invitations exists.

B lists are inconsiderate and a cash bar is inappropriate. No one wants to feel like a second choice guest and you need to host what you can pay for 100%. As of now you’re nowhere near your minimum guaranteed number so hopefully it won’t happen, but if it does you’d need to pay. If that happens I’d talk to the venue about the possibility of adding options on the menu etc.

Is the wedding local to you or true destination? I think people are in general more willing to make an effort to travel to a wedding that’s local to the couple or their family.

Of course you know your guests, and the likelihood they might drop out best.

What is your RSVP date? That is 4 weeks before the wedding, with invitations sent no earlier than 8 weeks before the wedding. No one can commit to anything before 4 weeks and this is an example of why invites should not be sent before 8 weeks. When the 4 week rsvp due date arrives, you tally all replies you have received at that time. Make a list of anyone who did not reply and start calling immediately that same afternoon/evening. Do not hang up or end the conversation until you have received a yes or no answer. Do not leave a message for them to call you back at any time because they will not do so. If they don’t respond, count them as a no and give your final count to the caterer after the 2-3 days that it takes to reach everybody on your list.

The others are right and it's too early. Wait until June 1st to sort final RSVPs and troubleshoot later with your venue about the room design. Don't invite a "B" list. These friends will be offended. Last minute invites would be acknowledging they are second tier friends. They won't come. If your smaller guest list means you have extra money to spend, put it into a better guest experience which includes a full bar. No one wants to drive 4 hours to pay to be there.

I had read several places to send invitations 3 months in advance for destination weddings, so color me shocked to hear talk of 4-8 weeks! I will say that's somewhat of a relief but at this point I don't think my guest-list will budge all that much if any. It is indeed a destination wedding as it is not local to me or my partner, nor any family.

I also am constantly amazed at the idea that a cash bar is inappropriate, I'm not hosting a wedding for people to get drunk, I don't see why paying for alcohol is a problem but that might just be regional. In California it's not unusual to have a cash bar. Regardless I think that would be the easiest 'upgrade' and would certainly cover the catering minimum with my current guest count.

View Quoted Comment You are correct, invites can be sent up to 12 weeks prior to a destination wedding. So don’t fret about your invitation timeline- you did it perfectly.
As for the bar, however, you 100% need to host it! Destination weddings require a much higher financial commitment from your guests (travel expenses, hotel rooms, meals, etc.), so in turn it also requires a higher level of hosting from the couple. Those who choose a destination wedding should host a welcome dinner for their guests, and oftentimes will host a thank you/farewell brunch for everyone as well. Guests at destination weddings should NEVER have to open their wallets at your reception. That would be the height of tacky and rude. You will definitely want to add on the open bar.

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Yes you are right, a lot of people on this app think they know everything and they don't. I am having a destination wedding and I sent our save the date 8 MONTHS in advanced and our actual invites and RSVPs 8-12 weeks. I cant remember exactly but it was between that. Its a destination wedding which means it requires a lot of extra time and preparation. My guests appreciated that I sent out our things well in advanced because some people, including myself, bargains for their vacation days. Which means they need to submit there vacation time 4 months in advanced. I think you're good though, I don't think your guest list will drop down to much lower.

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That's what STDs are for. People can make all those arrangements on the basis of a save the date and the information on a wedding website or separate correspondence. It's no more necessary to know that far in advance from the venue's perspective or for seating purposes. With domestic weddings, there are often many guests flying in from out of town and that doesn't change the invitation etiquette. If you ask for RSVPs 8 weeks or more in advance you only run the risk that some responses won't be accurate since many conflicts only become apparent closer to the date.

I don't think anyone should be expecting people to plan their vacations around your wedding, though. That's the risk you take with a DW.

View Quoted Comment Invite the right people they should🤷🏾‍♀️it’s a wedding, get special day.

View Quoted Comment OP, please listen to this person re the open vs. cash bar.