WitchyWoman
Dedicated April 2016

Online RSVP and Save The Dates

WitchyWoman, on May 10, 2015 at 1:36 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 22
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Hello!

My FH and I are in the mindset that getting married (while the marriage in itself is a fabulous thing) is kind of overrated. I feel like so much of the specialness of the day gets lost in the pomp and circumstance that comes with having the perfect dress, the perfect invites, the perfect seating chart, etc. So we're making a point to have a pretty minimalistic wedding. The invites I've created have a link to our wedding website, and that's how everyone will RSVP. It saves on those weird little envelopes and stamps and tracking everyone down. While I'm sure we'll still have to remind people to RSVP, my question for you ladies that have done it before or are currently utilizing it is how well did it work? Did people actually use it? Also, if we don't send out Save The Dates how far in advance should we mail our paper invites so people have time to plan and RSVP?

Thanks in advance for your advice!

22 Comments

Latest activity by Baylee, on August 19, 2019 at 4:44 PM
  • MG
    Expert May 2015
    MG ·
    • Flag

    I used online RSVPs via Appy Couple. We also created a google voice number so people can RSVP using voicemail. To be honest, only like 2 people used the phone. Most RSVP-ed online no problem. Some people thought it was a little confusing using the app for Appy Couple, but others had no problem. The website was simple. We still had to track people down afterwards, but that happens to everyone.

    • Reply
  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
    • Flag

    What about elderly guests?

    Its appropriate to send out invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding. If you don't send STDs, send the invites about 10 weeks out.

    • Reply
  • J
    VIP July 2015
    Jesse's Girl ·
    • Flag

    I've RSVPed for several weddings online (all via different websites) and as a guest I found it frustrating. I'd type in my name and it would say I wasn't found in the guest list, so I'd try using my nicknames, alternate spellings, etc. and my name would always come up as not being on the guest list. It was also difficult including my fiancé on the online RSVP. I've had to contact the bride and groom to let them know my RSVP because it would never allow me to do it via the website. That's why we opted to do the old fashion RSVPs...maybe it costs us a little more, but it saves our guests the frustration that we've experienced and is also good for the older guests who don't own/know how to use a computer or the internet.

    • Reply
  • Cara
    Just Said Yes April 2015
    Cara ·
    • Flag

    We used electronic RSVP through our website and it was one of the best things we did. We had other friends getting married around the same time and they said they had so many RSVP cards get LOST IN THE MAIL!! This made it quick and easy for everyone. Yes, a couple of the older guests had to be talked through it a little bit, but it was no big deal. Also the website we used (mywedding.com) has a really easy site that also allowed us to input information as well. It also sorted meal choices and exported everything for us. SUPER easy and efficient. You're going to have to call people and track down RSVPs no matter what. But this makes it easy and immediate to see who is coming to your wedding which is also really cool instead of having to wait for the mail every day!

    Good luck!

    • Reply
  • DNA
    VIP October 2015
    DNA ·
    • Flag

    I think I am going to use the wedding wire online RSVP tracker thing.

    • Reply
  • Brigit
    Master October 2015
    Brigit ·
    • Flag

    Weird little envelopes???? Ok.

    All I know is that we have too many older people that don't use the Internet so I will have those "weird little envelopes"

    • Reply
  • HereComeTheYorks
    Master April 2016
    HereComeTheYorks ·
    • Flag

    I like my little envelopes and all the little details! Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Mrs.B to be
    Super May 2016
    Mrs.B to be ·
    • Flag

    @alexisM082, I feel like you took that REALLY personally. This is the OPs choice for her wedding, and your choice is yours for your wedding. Different things are important to different people, no need to be stressed and worked up about it

    • Reply
  • AlexisM082
    Master February 2016
    AlexisM082 ·
    • Flag

    I will have the perfect dress the prefect invites, the prefect seating chart AND the prefect cake TO MY FH & I. It might not be what you and your FH want, but don't go shaming the rest of us in your process. There is nothing wrong with having a small intimate ceremony, but watch what you say to those of us who don't have the same opinion as you.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.B to be
    Super May 2016
    Mrs.B to be ·
    • Flag

    I really don't think she was shaming anyone. She said that's how SHE feels, not that there was anything wrong with it. I'm sure you will both have amazingly beautiful weddings! And, what's perfect to one isn't perfect to another...

    • Reply
  • J
    Master May 2016
    Jac3286 ·
    • Flag

    I'm planning on using online RSVPs through wedding wire. I'm also listing my email and phone number in case guests can't or don't want to use the online rsvp.

    • Reply
  • WitchyWoman
    Dedicated April 2016
    WitchyWoman ·
    • Flag

    Thank you for all of the advice and opinions, I really appreciate it! I just wanna get a jump start on it so if I need to change some of the plans I'll be prepared to do so. I hadn't thought about the STDs getting lost in the mail, I'm glad you mentioned it @Cara!

    I didn't mean to imply that having the perfect dress, seating chart, and wedding makes anyone's wedding any less special. That takes a lot of time and commitment and I have a large amount of respect for that kind of dedication. I simply meant that it's not what we want, and that's why I needed some advice on how to handle invites to help our wedding be a little more intimate. Your wedding sounds like it will be perfect and beautiful and I couldn't be more happy for you. Congratulations, and Happy Mother's Day.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Broughton
    Super July 2015
    Mrs. Broughton ·
    • Flag

    I didn't send out STDs either, just had cute invitations printed up on Zazzle that included our engagement pics (for like $40 for 110 via Groupon). I sent them out pretty early to the out of town guests so they could prepare for flights/road trips/etc. The invites included an email address for them to RSVP to rather than the wedding website page that's kind of frustrating. I use that email for RSVPs only, that way it's easy to keep track. I also set up an auto-reply with links to hotel room blocks, registries, etc. All my RSVPs are in already and it worked fine. My older aunts & uncles who don't email just called me or my mom and I put them down too. No problems here!

    • Reply
  • Lara
    Master July 2015
    Lara ·
    • Flag

    I'd just have people RSVP to your email address directly. It seems as though there are problems with websites, etc. Best of luck!

    • Reply
  • Lauren B.
    Master October 2015
    Lauren B. ·
    • Flag

    I'm using the WW online RSVP. We don't have a lot of older guests other than grandmothers who we already know are coming so I wasn't worried about that aspect of it.

    • Reply
  • Genny
    Master May 2015
    Genny ·
    • Flag

    We did online RSVPs and about 75% did it online. Even our elderly guests. One of DH's grandmother's didn't use the online RSVPs but sent an email. If you think most of your guests can handle it than go ahead. You'll probably still have to get in touch with some of your guests but you'll have to do that no matter which format you choose for RSVPs.

    • Reply
  • From Mi to Mo
    Super May 2015
    From Mi to Mo ·
    • Flag

    I didn't read through the comments so not sure what people have said but I didn't do RSVP cards, STDs, nor am I going through with the headache of making a seating chart, people can sit where they want, we're only saving 3 tables for certain people to sit at. I feel like too much of wedding planning is taken too far and a lot of it isn't needed.

    Now, I used the website for RSVPs but I also included my number for people to RSVP to. I got more FB messages and texts than actual RSVPs on the website so I was a little bummed but hey at least some people did it that way. I didn't run into any problems and I didn't have to worry about the mail lol.

    • Reply
  • TwoPs
    Super July 2015
    TwoPs ·
    • Flag

    Hi.

    I used the WW website and RSVP tool on the wedding website here. I put our wedding site on the invites (didn't do STD's) and said for more info and to rsvp go t our site...

    So far about half the guests have RSVP'd....and since we only had a 7 month engagement and didn't do std's, we sent out our invites around February.

    • Reply
  • T
    Savvy August 2015
    TrulyMadlyDeeply ·
    • Flag

    Wow. Some comments got a little heated...

    Anyway, I used AppyCouple as well and it's working out great so far. We opted to spend money on a few other day-of details instead of STD and RSVP cards/envelopes. I personally really like AppyCouple because it allows people to RSVP to different events (e.g., rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception). Plus, you can set it up so only those invited to the events actually see the details (e.g., we only invited those who are IN the wedding to the rehearsal dinner, so not all guests will get to RSVP to that). Also, if you upgrade to paid ($35ish), you can control RSVPs so that people don't randomly put 1 or 10 when they RSVP.

    Hope that helps!

    Edit: Agree with @Fluffy below. For our elderly guests, we're just going to manage those via phone.

    • Reply
  • mrsg
    Master September 2017
    mrsg ·
    • Flag

    IMO, if there is an elderly person who doesn't know how to use the Internet and doesn't have someone to ask for help, they must know how to use a phone. They can call you or your parents to RSVP. If you are going to make the (absurd) argument that they might not have a phone, then they can RSVP in person. I know it's not for everyone, and we will probably go the traditional mail-in-card route, but I think online RSVPs are amazing!

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