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Devoted October 2020

One week for Rsvps

Futuremrsn, on August 23, 2020 at 9:31 AM Posted in Planning 0 17

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Hi Ladies! So the final rsvp date for our wedding is the 31st (next Monday) and I have only received about half of my invited guests rsvps back. Is anyone else dealing with people who either can’t be bothered or who are waiting til the last minute? I understand completely if some people are still uncomfortable coming out, but why make it seem like you don’t care? I’ve made it clear to guests several times that we need to know what they’re eating if they are coming, and that if I don’t receive their rsvp by the 31st, I will be crossing them off the guest list. Are there any people you would reach out to and give the benefit of the doubt to? My fiancé said we should only reach out to family if they haven’t responded yet, but I’m of the mind that they’ve known about our wedding since the beginning of the year (since our original date was postponed) and now all of a sudden nobody seems to care. Isn’t it funny how those who tell you how excited they are for your wedding at the start are the ones who slowly but surely stop reaching out and become impossible to contact once the date gets closer? Just ranting! Anyone else in a similar position?

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17 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on September 16, 2020 at 9:52 AM

Legend July 2022
Lisa · on August 23, 2020 at 9:36 AM
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Unfortunately, it's common for people to either not RSVP at all or RSVP at the last minute. I would send out a text a few days before your deadline to anyone you haven't heard from yet, and remind them that you need a reply. They may have thought they replied but forgot to send their card, or their RSVP card may have gotten lost in the mail.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on August 23, 2020 at 9:39 AM
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If you are expecting to receive answers by mail then Keep in mind that the USPS is backed up and mail is taking longer to travel. I recommend you follow up with those you don't hear from a few business dats after the deadline.
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on August 23, 2020 at 9:41 AM
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That happened the first time as well for our original wedding date. People just took their time. Or some would message me and say hey I lost the rsvp card can you send me a photo. That’s annoying and disrespectful to me idk
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on August 23, 2020 at 9:42 AM
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We sent these invites out back in July, so I wanted to give everyone time to make a decision and get their rsvps back on time by sending them out earlier. Some people are still messaging us asking if we really want them there, and it’s so frustrating because if we sent you an invite then clearly we want you there?
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Super September 2020
Leanne · on August 23, 2020 at 9:43 AM
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Yes but it’s a common problem unfortunately. Happened for our original al date, and the second date. You’ll have to touch bases with everyone to get an accurate number.
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Super October 2020
Emma · on August 23, 2020 at 9:54 AM
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When do your vendors need the final number by? Your wedding is a day after ours but we have the same rsvp date. I will be sending my guest this the day after
Hello________!
We just wanted to send a reminder that the rsvp date for our wedding,on October 3rd,was yesterday. Unfortunately we have not heard from you yet! Please let us know if you are able to attend or not. If we do not hear from you by September 4th, we will unfortunately have to mark you as “regretfully decline”. We look forward to celebrating with our friends and family! Please let us know if you have any questions! Much love, Emma & Thomas
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 23, 2020 at 10:00 AM
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A lot of people rsvp at the end of the deadline
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on August 23, 2020 at 10:19 AM
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We have to Give a final count to our caterer by Sept 3, so we were pushing it by even having the rsvp date as late as it is. I just don’t feel I have to waste my time reaching out to people when everything is there for them. They just had to make a decision and mail it back out ya know? It just seems inconsiderate to me
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Super October 2020
Emma · on August 23, 2020 at 10:22 AM
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That seems really early for a caterer! We have to give our designer our head count by the 10th and the caterer the final number 2 weeks before.
Personally I’d send people a reminder the day before. I wish people would take rsvp dates seriously but a lot of times they don’t. I Perfect to give people the benefit of the doubt, even if they don’t really deserve it
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on August 23, 2020 at 10:29 AM
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This is pretty common, even pre covid. I got a good chunk soon after we sent out the invites, and then the rest on our RSVP date +/- a few days. Typically, you reach out to anyone who you don't have an RSVP from by text/call to follow up. Sometimes they get lost in the mail (happened to a few people), and others may have just misplaced the RSVP card. Things happen. And as a PP said, the USPS is especially slow currently.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on August 23, 2020 at 10:32 AM
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Definitely annoying, I wish more people would RSVP on time! At least the ones that asked for a picture of the RSVP card were honest and attempted to get a response to you on time.
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on August 23, 2020 at 1:47 PM
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For the very reason the usps has been slow I sent my invites out super early, to give everyone time to decide what they wanted to do, to give them time to reach out with questions, and for them to mail them back. I don’t know how much more I can do for people on top of everything else wedding planning entails...
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on August 23, 2020 at 2:07 PM
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People have other things going on in their lives so it is understandable that sending in the RSVP may have slipped their mind. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. If you want them there then give them the benefit of the doubt and reach out. If you think they are just being rude then don’t bother.
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Dedicated September 2020
Gabrielle · on August 24, 2020 at 2:42 PM
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Ohh that's annoying. Depending on how many people you've invited, I'd call an ask if they're coming. It would be worse if they showed up and you didn't cater for them!
Attending a wedding might be the last thing on some people's list in these times. They may need a reminder.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on August 24, 2020 at 2:52 PM
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After the rsvp deadline, reach out to *everyone* who has not replied yet. Many people wait to the last minute. Others may have other things going on and simply forgot. Be empathetic to the general craziness going on between the pandemic and the post office being slowed down.
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Super October 2020
Talia · on August 24, 2020 at 3:19 PM
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I'm in the same boat here. 10 days until my due date and we have like 42(individual RSVPS which equals to like 83 people) but I've heard that people wait to the last minute. It's some people who like I know will be there like my 2 aunts. We set the date of September 4th. The head count is due September 11th so we figured that we set the rsvp date a week before so if there was any stragglers, we could call them.
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Savvy October 2020
Sarah · on September 16, 2020 at 9:52 AM
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Having the same problem here. my RSVP deadline is tomorrow and I haven't heard back from 100 people! Not just that, but not a SINGLE one of FH's extended family has RSVP'd......Not sure why people can't just be courteous and respond, I know half have known they wouldn't come since July, and the rest should know if they are attending or not by now considering they would have to make travel plans. Not sure why it's so difficult, especially recognizing how hard planning is and how important numbers are during covid. I'm feeling annoyed lol but I guess we'll see what happens today. We even did online RSVPs instead of mail in due to the post office issues with covid and have taken care of ones for older relatives who had difficulty with the online part.
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