One month out and totally disillusioned. i hate weddings.

First off, take a breather !
Second, you're beautiful everyone is their own worst critic sometimes
Third, is there anything we here on the ww community can do to help you? We are here to lend words of wisdom and support

View Quoted Comment Thanks. I think I just want someone to tell me that it’s worth it and that the actual day isn’t as scary as I’m envisioning.

View Quoted Comment I read a ton of BAM posts here on WW before my wedding and it had given me a sense of calmness that even if things don't go as expected, it'll all come along together fine anyway so have faith that your planning and all that went into it will come together fine.
And yes, it will be worth it !

You don't need to impress anyone. The attendees are your friends and relatives. They will be happy to see you happy, even if some things go wrong.

And really, there are only two ways a wedding can go. It can be perfect. Or it can provide funny stories to tell your children and grandchildren some day. And those stories will be especially great if followed by, "And in spite of all that, we've been happily married for fifty years now."

So if you're excited about the marriage, even if not about the wedding, you'll be fine.

I understand, at times I didn't feel excited about my wedding and I just wanted it to be over with.

But it was so worth it in the end. Seeing my hubby at the end of the aisle made all the worries and stress melt away.

You're so close, and it may seem like everything is going to turn out horribly, but I guarantee everything will turn out great!

You’re certainly not the only one who has felt this way! I feel like almost everyone passes through at least a moment of being so stressed they feel disillusioned!

One thing that helped me was the realization that being a BRIDE didn’t actually change ME and throwing a big party didnt change the fact that I am a mellow low key go with the flow kind of person. I wasn’t a bride on a pedestal, I was ME. So no need for feeling this pressure. Nothing has to be perfect and I can do what I want. I could be silly and goofy. I could say no if there was something I didn’t want. In fact I was probably more in control than I’ve ever had the opportunity to be! I know it sounds silly and simple but realizing that I didn’t have to be this magical illusion of The Bride and really I could just be myself and the wedding didn’t change that was very calming.

Also...no one who doesn’t love you is gonna come to your wedding. So, the people you want to impress are the people you really don’t NEED to impress. They already care about you and are their to support you, not judge you. They’re there because they want to spend time with you and celebrate a big life event with you. They are the easiest audience in the world to please, because they’re just there to see you in your happy moment

Why are you focusing on impressing people? A wedding is not about that but unfortunately a lot of people get sucked intI "I need to impress everyone" mode. A wedding and marriage should be about love and the two of you coming together.

View Quoted Comment Oh my god you’re the first person I’ve seen who has felt the same way about being The Bride. It seems like this huge role I have to play and everything about it is so unlike me. I actually had a half-drunk meltdown at my bachelorette party about it, but I’m the first of my friends to get married so no one could really understand. I’m glad you found a way to escape the pressure.

View Quoted Comment I decided (unfortunately) to have a wedding and people expect certain things out of weddings, so now I have to do those things whether I want to or not.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately slightly more than half the people there are his family, not mine. I’m not worried about what my family or our friends will think.

Yep! I get it! I just decided I was going to do what I was going to do and if no one liked it they didn't have to.

I gotta say that sometimes I feel this way too. Not always, but sometimes everything is just so overwhelming. I don't have a lot of advice because I'm not married yet, but I know that when I need to rant, I really just need someone to tell me I'm not alone in those feelings and that my feelings are valid. So I'm here to tell you both! Just try to remember that at the end of the day, you will be married to your best friend, and that underneath all the wedding "fluff", that's still the point of all of this. I also saw where one bride on here before say that she had to start thinking of it as her fiance's day. She was so terrified and overwhelmed and just felt undeserving so she started to think of it in terms of "this is all for him", "he deserves to be celebrated".

I'm sort of feeling that way, like maybe we should've just done a family destination wedding lol. I hate being in big crowds. But I think about the memories I'd make, the moments, like the father/daughter dance, our friends celebrating and supporting us, the first dance. You don't get that. I'm sure you'll feel all kinds of emotions of love on your big day.

View Quoted Comment I feel you. I’m really weirded out by having 160+ people staring at me during the ceremony when there’s a HUGE risk of me crying. My mom has said pretty much the same as the second part of your comment - she didn’t want to have a wedding either but got pushed into it (she was only 20!) and is now glad they did.

You literally explained what I am feeling right now, and no one seems to understand. I hope that It was a relief when it was over for you

View Quoted Comment Hey Ashley,


I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. It was an incredibly stressful time, and now you have Covid’s bullshit to deal with on top of it all.
For what it’s worth, the relief for me actually came the day of my wedding. I was a mess right up to my rehearsal dinner, then I just somehow accepted that there was nothing I could do about anything (this wasn’t a conscious choice, just how I woke up feeling) and it was like I was possessed by the ghost of someone without an anxiety disorder for the day. I was completely calm and collected all day, which are not adjectives people would typically use to describe me.
There were a few weird moments of too much attention (my husband’s drunk uncle serenading me with Mrs. Murphy’s Chowder - my married name would’ve been Murphy if I’d changed it - during the reception was particularly weird) but for whatever reason, it just rolled off me like water off a duck’s back. Same with the colder than expected weather, forgotten centerpieces, and stepping on my dad’s foot during the father-daughter dance.
I’ve been married for two years now and I can tell you that, while I would never do it again I’m glad we did it and I can look back on that day as a good memory. It also ended up being the last time we saw most of our families before Covid hit - we’ve been fortunate not to lose anyone to it, but we haven’t been able to see most of them since, especially not all together, so it’s a good memory in that way too.