On a $4,000 budget

I found the Elks Lodge in Tewksbury ma and it's 850$. Our budget is 5500$ and we're just about there. If you REALLY look you may find something but in NJ idk.

Use $100 of it to drive to Pennsylvania where things are way cheaper. Added bonus: Your guest list will naturally get smaller since some people won't want to travel.

@frugal where in PA are you talking about. I'm from there and it's not cheap.

I'd be surprised if you could feed that many people for 4k. Food is about half our budget.

Photographers are expensive but I'm getting one who is a friendly acquaintance and does it part time who is much less expensive but I still like his work. Look for state parks, I found several for rent with tables for $300 or less. For dresses look for white dresses (if you want to wear white) that aren't marketed as wedding dresses. Bridesmaids and eveningwear dresses are your best bet, maybe prom.

If you find a place that allows you to bring your own alcohol you can buy in bulk over the next few years and save that way. I would recommend having a bartender though.

@Becoming a Mrs.

Anywhere that's at least 100 miles from Philadelphia or Pittsburgh. There is not a single city in NJ that is at least 100 miles from a major city (NYC and Philadelphia) which is why it is universally more expensive than every other state.

I paid about $3000 for venue, food, alcohol, tables, linens, chairs etc for 65 people. We had a buffet with 2 entrees and and open bar for 5 hours. We also added a cheese tray and veggie tray for cocktail hour

@frugal 100 miles from Philly/Pittsburgh will be far from Red Bank, adding the expense of travel and lodging more than likely.

Wait, its in 2018. Saving would be a great option?! Getting a second job would be another one?!

What about Delaware? There has to be some places there that are more affordable than New Jersey.

Treat your guests the way you would want to be treated as a guest...

Spazzy has a lot more patience than anyone I know, and this comment is NOT directed at her. Her numbers are pretty spot on.

BUT I love when people come here with unrealistic budgets for too big guest lists and inevitably SOMEONE white knights it and tells them it's absolutely possible if they have a big enough glue gun and enough rice krispie treats.

You are talking 1.5 years away, in prime season. Yes, you can do cake and punch. You can rent a public park and do a bbq with a cheap caterer. A really cheap one.

You could also spend 30,000 on a typical wedding in NJ. But there are a lot of things in the middle.

I can tell you, because I've been at pretty much every venue in upper and central part of the state, that you cannot feed that many people on those dollars. It's time to jiggle the guest list, find a second job or contemplate eloping. We have a lovey package for 20 that includes everything you need and even that comes in slightly over 4000.00.

What you want and the dollars you have don't go together, so it's back to the drawing board. I don't mean to sound cruel, but someone has to tell you before you spend two years making yourself crazy.

Agreed with ELK it would end up costing her more in the long run if she did that. I'm not too far from jersey that's why I was asking where u were talking about. Because where I am it's not cheap.

@celia 100% agree with everything you just said!!

Honestly, I live in the midwest where things are far cheaper than where you are. We had 35 people and spent far more than 4k. Granted, we could have spent less but there is no way that even here we could have hosted 90 people for that. It would have been tough to do our 35 person guest list on 4k even here but doable. Think about how much it would cost to go out to dinner. Now multiply that my 90. That doesn't even cover your dress, suits/tuxes, photo/video, rentals, etc, etc. You either need to find a way to save more money or cut your guest list way down, probably both. Perhaps consider doing a short midday reception with only cake and punch. Or have a small wedding with just your VIPs.

Its 27 months away, START saving. Spazzy gave you a boat load of awesome advice... If you ever return lol.

Fine, how about 75 miles from a major city. Now Kunkletown, PA is in play and is only 110 miles from Red Bank. It does not cost that much to travel 110 miles. She will save thousands by getting out of NJ, and it'll cost maybe $50 roundtrip everytime she wants to visit the venue or meet with vendors. Hotels will be like $300 for two nights. I'm planning from far away and will have only gone to my venue twice during the planning. So $450 additional that she wouldn't have spent if she had the wedding in Red Bank, and the average cost of a wedding just dropped from $36,500 to $21,500

Average cost of weddings with less than 50 guests

Red Bank, NJ: $12,072 - $20,120

Kunkletown, PA: $7,075 - $11,791

ETA: OP, please read Spazzy's and Celia's comments multiple times and let them sink in.

I don't know about her use of Kunkletown, PA but I could use it! I am 5 mins from Philly so 75 miles outside of Philly is in play for me! Thanks @frugal

It's stlll double + what she thought she could spend.

@Celia, yeah I know. That's why Spazzy's comment about how to increase her budget is so important. If I were her, I would probably do a really small ceremony and then go to a restaurant afterwards.

Look to friends to help make centerpieces, take photos, help decorate, etc. Where there is a will there is a way. You can stick to your budget. Maybe think about hors D'ourves instead of a meal. Just some ideas.