Older teenagers at a no kids wedding, what is the appropriate cut off?

Has anyone done this with older teens that were siblings and/or immediate family? I can't imagine my wedding without these people but I just can't possibly afford to invite another hundred people to include kids.

Ours was 21 and up. The same with almost every wedding we've ever been invited to (2 dozen). Our venue charged the full, adult rate (including 5 hours of open bar), for all guests 13 and up and those 12 and under, who wanted an adult entrée.

Then they also had (state) rules about closing down the bar, or even the reception if anyone under 21 ordered alcohol or was seen drinking it. No way were we going to risk that.

I would say that you can set an age limit, as long as it is constant. If you invite 15 and up, you should invite all 15 and up.

This is what I'm having a huge issue with. My niece and nephew are both under 21 (16-17) and I maybe see them once every two years, so of course I want them at my wedding. I also have an aunt and uncle who have a son who's 21+ but their daughter is 16, and I feel like it's wrong to break up the family like that. So I'm just confused

I would stick to 18 and up so that you are drawing the line at adults only. That is a clear cut off. 16 year olds are not adults, so it will be more difficult to justify inviting them and not other kids.

The only time an age cutoff is appropriate is if you are having an adult only wedding. This would mean 18+ (and I can understand choosing 21+).

Anyone 18+ is considered an adult and should receive his or her own invitation, separate from their parents. It doesn't matter whether they live at home or not. Adults get their own invitations. Only children (under 18) get included on their parents' invitation. You're right in sensing that it's bad to split up families (which is why setting an age limit that is under 18 can be awkward because if you say 13+ is invited and have a family with a 12 year old and 15 year old, you're sending an invitation that has the parents' names and one child's name on it, but not the other child's name). However, once someone turns 18, they are an adult and are considered their own household. They are not expected to be included on their parents' invitation to anything. Younger siblings, however, still get invited on their parents' invitation. So with your example of the aunt and uncle with a son older than 21 and a daughter who is 16, their son is not part of their household. If you were inviting adults only, the son would get his own invitation and the parents would get their own invitation. The 16 daughter would not be invited because she is not an adult, and that would be okay because it's not like you're inviting other children from that household and excluding her.

It is okay to invite children in circles, though. You could make an exception and include children of immediate relatives or children of all relatives, and then you get your teenage niece and nephew and your teenage cousin. You would, however, also have any other children who may be related to you, regardless of their ages.

We said only kids of the wedding party were invited to ours. I think it would be fine to invite him

My sister's wedding was no children, I was 17 at the time but was the maid of honor and she had no other brides maids. The other two children was a flower girl and ring bearer. If you only want certain kids there then give them a job like "guest book attendant" or something of that sort so it seems like they are only there because they are part of the wedding. Just a suggestion.

If not 21+

Do 18+

The other ages don't make sense as a cutoff

I think if I were 15 and not invited to my cousin's wedding, because I wasn't 18, I'd be extremely hurt. I invited my 15 year old cousin to mine as he would be incredibly hurt if he was not invited, even if he's not technically an adult. I think in "childfree weddings," it really should be limited to children under perhaps 13 or children who know how to behave in public. Not little terrors.

Many children have very strong relationships with adults and can process the emotions of hurt and being abandoned by someone they are close to- and if they are left out of the wedding, I think it could be unforgivable.

I know the alcohol thing is a liability in some venues, but I just would trust my cousin to act responsibly. I think however older children at a no kids wedding is okay in some circumstances.

I have an age limit to our list too. My FSILs are going to be 6 and 17 for our date, but they're in the bridal party. My limit is 17/18 and up, but BC the FILs live about an hour away (2 or so from where our venue is), finding a sitter for the 6year old won't work out so she'll have to be at the reception too (the only kid there O.O but FMIL says she, the 17 year old and older cousins will be able to take care of her)

I'm inviting close friends kids but not others' kids and honestly I don't think anyone will think twice about it. I know most of my friends are looking for an excuse to get out without their kids!

ETA: I'm also inviting my MOHs nanny! Feeding her a nice meal is the least I can do, having her there will allow my BFF to enjoy herself as well.

I always think random cut off ages are kind of weird. Invite in circles, but I would also do 21.

We are doing 16 and over. With the way our families have their kids, it works for us. There is only 1 that we want there, he's 10 so he's our usher.

Team no kids no teens here.

We did 21+ but we didn't split up families. We had cousins with one child in their teens so we invited the whole family.

You can invite kids in circles. We are inviting cousins only - not kids of cousins. FH's family has a lot of younger cousins ranging from 2 to 19. All of which are invited. I have second cousins that age - who are not invited

Give them a job such as card box security.

Thanks for your advice everyone, I think the inviting in circles thing makes sense since the only first cousins I have are adults other than him and the only first cousins with kids two of them are in the wedding party and one will be 18 by the wedding.

I would give him a job but ushers usually wear tuxes as well don't they? Also he is mildly developmentally disabled so he has difficulty focusing on tasks(like watching the gift box). Thanks again for the help!

I think i t needs to be a legal cutoff age so either 18 and up or 21 and up.

21 and up is always going to make the most sense, especially with an open bar so that you don't have to worry about the Bartenders carding or having wrist bands or something. The bartenders will just know everyone is 21 and of legal drinking age.