Older Sister's Place in Bridal Party?

I would just keep 1 MOH! I think it's easier to avoid hurt feelings.

I would also keep just the one MOH or not have her as a bridesmaid and just have her daughters in the wedding. She can still sing or do a reading and give a speech that's more than enough. I think just the obvious distinction of not being 1st or 2nd in line is going to be weird...

Honestly, it's your wedding, I don't think we should have to owe anyone or feel obligated. Her circumstances might have not been the same aka maybe she didn't have friends that were super close like you do or maybe she does but THEIR circumstances were preventing them from being of honor. But regardless of her reasoning, that was HER wedding, this is YOURS. I think being in the wedding party is special enough! My FH and I both have a cousin as the best man/maid of honor while our siblings are bridesmaids and groomsmen but they understand because we're closer to our cousins and feel they're better for the role's responsibilities anyway.

I would just keep her as a bridesmaid. If you want to highlight her more you can always have her do a reading. I'm on the flipside, my little sister is 13 years younger than me (she'll be a junior bridesmaid).

I went back and forth for a while about who to choose as MOH and who to have as bridesmaids, so to make it easier I just decided on all bridesmaids. I don't have a MOH and honestly there really isn't any difference... so maybe that's an option for you?

Thank you all so much for your responses! Since I have already asked my college roommate to be my MOH I'm just going to keep it at that and have the rest of the girls be bridesmaids. My FH's younger brother is NOT going to be his Best Man so I think it will almost seem like we planned to have two of our siblings walk together.

Side Note: All these special titles almost make me feel like I have to rank my friendships which is silly when I love and value all my girls in different ways! Hopefully I do good job expressing that and they are all sensible enough to understand.

It's your wedding, so you should do what feels right, which seems like it's having your friend as your MOH, and your sister as one of your birdesmaids. As someone who has gone through something similar, I really encourage you to stick to what feels right for you, as long as you aren't being rude or unkind. This may hurt some feelings, but this isn't about anyone else, and it's not like you're not making her MOH in order to punish her or make her feel bad- this is about the important people in your life, and obviously if you're making her a bridesmaid, it's clear she's important. With all of your wedding choices, there will generally be one or two people who aren't happy. Changing your plans to please people sets a bad precedent for future disagreement over your wedding planning.

My husband is not close to his twin brother at all and didn't make him a groomsman in our wedding and it caused a lot of drama from his family during our engagement, but in the end we put our foot down, told them all to butt out, and they showed up to our wedding (not necessarily happily, but they kept their mouths shut for the most part) and it was a perfect day.

I have two sides to this... My brothers wedding, my SIL included me in her bridesmaids (with 4 others). I don't feel obligated to include her, even if our current relationship was much better... but on the flip side, my FH's sister asked me to be her MOH but I don't feel that same way. I have a cousin that I grew up with that would make me more comfortable.

I'm so glad I didn't have a sister... this kind of stuff would have made my head explode.

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Oh goodness that's tough! I can't imagine going through that and both planning weddings at the same time - definitely feel the "obligation" then. I guess you could maybe tell her "Hey I would be happy to be your MOH (if you are lol) but I've already asked Cousin so-and-so to be mine since we've been BFFs since birth, hopefully you will still do wedding planning with me as my bridesmaid?"

Or talk to your FH...he might be able to give insight about why she asked you and not another friend/family member. I'm not sure of your relationship, but I do think it is a sweet gesture that she asked you and probably already considers you a part of the family!

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I agree with Erin on your situation though!

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Thanks Erin! Pretty much everyone I've talked to in person has said the same thing. She will always be my sister, so hopefully she will understand. I'm going to ask her on Saturday so fingers crossed she is still excited!

I have known my MOH for the least amount of time out of all my bridesmaids but we have a really special relationship since she battled cancer while we were college roommates. Time doesn't replace those deep conversations and raw times, ya know? The choice was also easier because she is the closest to BOTH my FH and I. I'm glad everything worked out for the most part with your husband and his twin - at the end of the day you are still married

To each theit own. You cannot control what she did with her wedding. Wedding parties are meant for those closest to you. If you are not exactly close with your sister, you don’t have to include her in it at all. There should be no obligation on either side. I was not in any of my sister’s three weddings. She wasn’t in my first wedding, and she won’t be in this one either. Not bc we aren’t close or don’t love each other, but bc there’s a mutual understanding that we aren’t as close to each other as we are our friends and cousins. I only suggest doing what makes you feel best about the situation, but I don’t think you should change any plans to accommodate anyone. This is your day, not theirs. They don’t have to live with the choices you make...you will, though.