Old high school friend reaching out after you engagement?

Go out for coffee and see how it turns out. No harm right?

That’s totally normal... lots of people suddenly come out of the woodwork because they want to be invited to the wedding.



Honestly I’d just see where it goes. Could be that she’s being fake just to fish for an invite, or maybe she actually wants to be closer friends again. I’d talk to her and see how time progresses and if it seems like she’s just in it for the invite.

Perhaps she’s happy for you & genuinely misses your friendship. But I wouldn’t extend and invite and if she asks I’d say it’s a small private wedding. That’s way too early for her to ask (she might not).

Oh, people come out of the woodwork when you get engaged. We had people we only talk to professionally just ... talk about how they were totally coming, and how excited they were for the wedding. (They are great people, but in no way do we see them socially... and they were never going to be invited.)

It can be really awkward. If you want to revive the friendship, by all means, but I'd be cautious. She may very well want something from you, want to sell you, or simply be attracted to the "glamour" of you being engaged.

It's not that unusual. I agree with a PP. Go out for a cup of coffee and catch up, sometimes our lives take us in weird directions.🌻

It happens. You just had a major life event (engagement) and people from all points in your life are excited for you.


We're all adults and busy with our own lives and it's possible that your friend realized she lost touch and think this is an opportunity to reconnect. I had several people reach out and none of them fished for an invite to the wedding. Take it at face value unless it shows itself otherwise later.

And as general advise, don't talk about your wedding to anyone who isn't 100% invited. Even then, keep it to a minimum and avoid sharing tons of details. 🙂

I think it’s normal. A lot of people reach out to reconnect after they’ve heard something big happen to you.

Yeah I think it’s normal. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad - you popping up in her newsfeed could have made her want to catch up. But sometimes it’s people looking for an invite haha. I’d just see what happens if you guys do end up hanging out!

It seems right in place, to me. 16-25, many people are all about new friends, experiences, school, jobs. Then at some point they find some of the friends they cast off, are actually what

Sorry - Are actually what their more mature, settled down sel es are looking for. Why meet new people, when you have some pretty great old friends you just disconnected with. When I moved back to my rural home area, and slowly some others did, 4-8 years gone, or back and forth, schools and military, we finally all were settling down. I have happily reconnected with several. My kids are playing with theirs. Nice.

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Sadly, all of Rebecca's predictions seem more likely, but there is at least one innocent reason someone might reach out after an engagement announcement... Is this friend married? Some of my married friends were far more interested in hanging out when they saw signals on social media that I myself had settled down and was in a serious and long-term relationship. It can be hard for married friends to relate to single friends and vice-versa.

View Quoted Comment Thanks Gen!

View Quoted Comment Great advice! Thanks girl

Was your engagement recent, like near or around the stay at home/lockdown stuff? If so, could it just be that this has made her realize that she misses old connections to someone she used to be close with and this pandemic has made her want to build relationships again?

View Quoted Comment We got engaged in October so no. The whole thing seems rather odd to me.