Ok let’s talk budget!

My FH's parents have both passed away. My dad isn't in the picture, and my mom works full time as a cashier at a grocery store. So obviously we're paying for everything ourselves. I feel like the best you can do is to not count on the contribution and figure out how to save for the wedding yourself. If your future father in law does end up contributing, maybe you could use it toward a home down payment or a honeymoon.

Thank you so much for your suggestion! I did pretty much come to the conclusion that we can’t count on him. We are completely ok with paying for a bulk of the wedding ourselves, and I love your suggestion to use his possibly contributions towards a house down payment! Great idea! Thank you so much Sarah!!!

View Quoted Comment Are you getting married at the lake lure inn???? I don’t know much about this wedding wire app but saw your profile say that??? If so, WHAT a coincidence! We were just there for my fiancé’s sisters wedding this past September!!!

I think asking your parents to pay for your wedding is an old school tradition in the first place. It’s one thing to accept the help when it’s offered, but I think it’s really distasteful to ask someone to pay for a party that you, two consenting adults, decided to throw. Since you’ve already brought up the conversation multiple times, I think the best way to navigate the situation would be to ask if there’s a certain vendor he’d like to cover or if he would prefer to just give you a certain dollar amount to distribute how you see fit.

We both work and my parents work, but aren’t able to fall into old traditions to fully pay for our wedding. FH’s parents are 20 years older and his father is twice retired (mother was homemaker). I fully planned for us to work to pay for the wedding. My mother offered to pay for dress and contribute $1K. FH was uncomfortable about asking but I pushed him to ask and his parents offered to pay for rehearsal dinner, open bar, and wedding planner. I think they all know we’re not frivolous and will be spending less than my parents or his brother spent.

We had zero expectations of our parents paying for any part of our wedding. They have come to us respectively and said what they can contribute, without us prompting/asking.. and we’ve let it go at that. We haven’t asked for the money they spoke of.. if they give it to us later, great. If not, great.. we don’t take it personally.

We paid for our own wedding but our parents offered to help for anything if we needed. I think if you can afford to or have the capability of trying to save for it on your own it would be nice.

Personally, I feel the bride and groom should pay for their own wedding rather than expect others to. It isn't your parents or your husband's parents responsible to pay for you wedding. If they offer to contribute, that's one thing, but to go and ask them to pay for your wedding is another. I think it is rather distasteful for you and your fiance to ask your parents for money especially when it sounds like your parents aren't in the best place financially contribute to your wedding. If you want a big wedding then pay for it yourself.

My FH and I didnt expect any help from our parents and throughout our planning, we planned as though we were paying everything ourselves and it worked out. I would just continue with your budget, not anticipating a contribution. That way if it doesn't work out, you werent relying on it. Good luck and happy planning.

We came up with what we could personally could afford and then asked our parents if they could contribute to something specific, my FH asked his parents if they could take care of the table and chairs, I asked my mom if she could make my wedding cake (she unfortunately got rid of ALL of her baking stuff) but said she will take care of the cake, still don't know what I'm getting 😂 (she said that if I was cool with it she wanted to surprise me lol). And then we asked if they would be cool with splitting the food between the three of us equally (my parents, his parents, and us). My mom didn't give me an option to buy my dress, his parents wanted to cover the main dish and got a porta potty (it's in there yard). And then we are paying for the rest.

We are paying for everything ourselves and didn’t expect or ask our parents or family for help.

I think you should have the wedding that you can afford.

I would never ask my parents what they can contribute, our parents have came to us to say what they want to help with and the parents that haven’t there is zero hard feelings.

My fiancé and I are also paying for our wedding. We are saving $500 each from our paycheck to go towards the wedding fund. We have 16 months before the wedding and have already made deposits besides what we will save. I think asking our parents to contribute is a very old tradition and not something to be expected. If they wanted to contribute that’s great but if they can’t it should be alright, no hard feelings. Because not only it will be stressful for you but for your parents as well if they are expected to pay for something when they don’t have anything extra to give. Have you considered moving the wedding to later date so both of you can save money to pay for it? I think before entering a marriage it is also important to be financially stable besides mentally and emotionally. If you have a limited budget but really want to wed on a specific date then maybe have a small solemn celebration. Happy preps!

We are paying for mostly everything. Didnt ask anyone to help us but my family has offered. I think it's strange to ask your parents to pay or assist. Not something to be upset about or go through heartaches or headaches with the family

We are paying for our wedding 100% ourselves. I didn't ask my parents for anything. His parents offered help and we declined. I am disappointed that my mom didn't offer to help at all, not even with my dress or veil. She makes very good money and wasn't really around for me when I was growing up. Oh well.

We didn't ask for anyone to contribute to pay for our wedding. We are grown adults after all. We set a budget that we can afford that won't put us in debt and we are sticking to it.

View Quoted Comment Bingo!! My thoughts exactly.

We are paying our for our wedding My FMIL has offered to help but we are doing a GW and I am super comfortable with my budget.

View Quoted Comment Yes we are! We finalize it in Friday! What were your favorite/least favorite parts of her wedding there??

View Quoted Comment It is an outdated tradition for the parents to pay. My husband and I created a budget then our parents offered to assist with things. We didn't go to them they came to us. My parents bought my wedding dress and veil because my mom insisted. She wanted to buy my shoes, but I had already bought them. They also paid for some add ons like uplighting, but we didn't ask them to or even know until it was already done They paid for this stuff without telling us originally. Both moms went with us to tour the venues and my mom knew the extra stuff we wanted so she wrote them a check then told me weeks later that she did that. I offered to pay her back, but she refused the money. His mom likes to bake so she offered to make our favors. She just wanted to know what we wanted her to make as the favors. She also offered to make our flower girls' dresses, but we bought all of the material for her to make them. She also paid for the rehearsal dinner, but we weren't sure if she would have all of the money for it so we set extra money aside to cover it. I didn't think she would be she struggles with saving money, but she really wanted to help us out. The only thing I will say I did ask my mom about was decorating our rehearsal dinner venue and that was because she came to me really upset because she felt my mother-in-law was more involved in the wedding than she was so I felt pressured to come up with something else my parents could with.