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Dedicated August 2019

Oh mother

Ashley, on July 8, 2019 at 1:59 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12
Both my mother and grooms mother keep trying to invite people to my wedding. No one is paying for it but me and I've told them both repeatedly it's 25 people maximum. Including me and the groom. So what do I do.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Renee, on July 9, 2019 at 2:20 AM
  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    I would sit them down and be firm. Tell them that you appreciate them wanting to celebrate this joyous occasion with everyone, but it's too close to the wedding to add people and you can't afford to spend any more. If they insist on inviting more, tell them they have to pay for each additional person.

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  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    The worry about telling them they have to pay for additional guests is that they might just say okay and pay for extra guests- which doesn’t sound like that’s what you want. If you want to stick under 25, I’m assuming you want that personal intimate ceremony. Stick to what you want, it’s your day and you don’t want to look back and regret giving up what you wanted. Good luck!
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    I would tell the you're not obligated to invite the people they're extending invites to. Leave it at that. You're not the one who is going to look silly.
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I told my own mother I'd uninvite her if she kept that up.
    Fiance told his mother to not even ask and she said okay.
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  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
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    Just be firm and consistent - you control the guest list and they cannot invite anyone at all, because of capacity/budget/whatever reasons. Just a clear "I'm so sorry but we won't be able to include X at the wedding, we have a very limited guest list and don't have any room to add anyone else" and then change the subject!

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  • Chelsea
    Dedicated December 2020
    Chelsea ·
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    I agree with everyone's points. Be firm and either stick to the 25 max or offer that they pay for the extra guests. Maybe even offer a separate party/gathering they can throw in honor of the wedding so they can invite their additional friends. I have a larger guest count 75-100 but we also have a lot of people that my FH and I would like to invite. My parents are bad about wanting to invite distant relatives I've never met or their friends from high school who met me once when I was 2.. I told them that they make their list and number them 1, 2, 3 (first picks, second picks, and thirds) to help us allow some of the important people in their lives (they are helping us pay for the wedding) but realize we have to prioritize a little bit. And bottom line, if either myself or my FH don't know them.. They are not coming! Good luck!
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Be firm with both. Tell them they must uninvite anyone they already invited. With 25 guests, I’d be picking every single one with my fiancé—no seats chosen by my family.

    You can suggest to the moms if they want to host and pay for a “cake & punch” reception at least a month or two after your wedding, they can plan the whole thing and you & your sweetie will be happy to show up. If they really want to plan something like that, that should keep them busy and out if your hair!
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  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
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    If you have a 25 guest max for your day, I would not allow them any guests at all and stand your ground as it’s your day. If you are allowing them each 25 guests, that’s a different story and I would definitely cut them off there. My FMIL keeps adding tons of people I have never met, but FH is allowing a few bc they are contributing. She also wanted them to come to my shower and I said absolutely not.
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  • Courtney
    Master December 2019
    Courtney ·
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    Mom and her friends can hang out in the parking lot. Smiley xd Smiley xd

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    I would think by now that invitations have already gone out, right? Sometimes family needs to be reminded that a wedding isn't the same thing as a family reunion. A friend of mine is getting married a few months before me, and her mother and MIL are both trying to turn her wedding into a family reunion. They're digging up relatives that nobody has seen in decades! Nope.

    Stand your ground. This is your wedding. They'll get over it. Just keep telling them that the guest list is set. If they want, they can send out wedding announcements to all the people who didn't make the cut--after the wedding.

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  • Fany
    Devoted October 2021
    Fany ·
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    Be assertive and consistent. Consider allowing them to invite extra guests if they want to pay for it.
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    It depends on your situation. Are you having 25 people max because you want a small intimate wedding, the venue only holds so many people, or is it due to your budget? If it's because of the venue, then you have an easy out-just say the venue doesn't have the space. If you just want close friends and family, sit her down and tell her that it's your wedding, you're paying for it, and you want something small, intimate, and personal. If it's because of money, you can always give her the option to pay for additional people. Figure out what each additional person would cost-from tables, favors, food, decorations, etc-and tell her that if she wants to invite them, she has to pay $$ per person she invites. Good luck. Neither one of our parents seem to care if we invite anyone or not

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