Officiants - Friend or Pro?

If you have access to having your friends officiate who have done it before, then go for it! Especially if you're trying to save. Officiants can cost usually anywhere between $300-$500 (last I saw - depending on where you live or are getting married at).

I have a friend I served with in the military who just so happens to be legally and fully ordained. FH and I aren't really religious either but the fact that he's a good friend is why he was the first person I thought of.

My husband's uncle performed our ceremony, and it was soooo much more special than having a stranger. He was able to get ordained online with the Universal Life Church or whatever it's called, and he didn't have to be any fees at all to the state or county (we're in NJ). He is a very good public speaker, so we knew he would be fine in front of a crowd. I have actually been to far more weddings with a friend or relative as the officiant rather than a professional.

We ate gonna hire a pro!

Definitely check your state's laws to find out whether having a friend do it is legal. Some states allow ministers ordained online to perform weddings. Some have an "officiant for a day" program, that typically requires registering with the state. Some allow "self uniting marriages," in which the couple just signs the marriage certificate themselves, and then can have whoever they want serve as a sort of master of ceremonies while they do their vows. But some states won't recognize any officiants other than a minister who has a congregation of his/her own, or a justice of the peace. And in those states, you typically won't discover the problem when you file for the marriage certificate. Instead, you'll find out decades later, at the time of death, divorce, or bankruptcy, when you suddenly discover you have none of the rights of marriage.

We were lucky enough to have a friend who is also a pro at this. He's married other friends of ours, and we considered him kind of a good-luck charm.

It was delightful to have someone who knew us so well lead the ceremony. His "sermon" was deeply personal and heartfelt, and contained everything from laugh lines to sage, us-specific advice.

Because he knew us so well, DH and I were able to work with him over several months to get the precise ceremony feel we wanted, and also entrusted him with copies of our vows in case we couldn't read our own handwriting. (I absolutely cannot.)

This also made our photos extra special - there's a sequence of pictures wherein I essentially launched myself at DH for the kiss... and in the background, our officiant/friend goes from a happy smile to a full-blown grin/laugh, because you can see DH catching me as we kiss.

If you have anyone you know who is able and willing to do this - I'd recommend.

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We already did, hence the question above. Our state pretty much allows someone religiously ordained, a Justice of the Peace, or someone authorized to officiate a marriage in any other state to perform the ceremony. All that is needed to become a JP in our state is a $75 application fee and the signatures of two other JPs, so it would be a lot more cost effective for us to pay the application fee for a friend than to hire a professional officiant. We'd rather be married by a friend than have some random person we have no relationship with officiate our ceremony, but I wasn't sure if there was a downside to hiring a non-professional friend at all. One of my co-workers was previously a wedding planner and said your officiant should be a part of your rehearsal and can be super helpful in organizing everyone and ensuring a flow of events at the ceremony that works. Obviously a friend of ours who had never done it before wouldn't have that expertise, but we aren't having an overly complicated or long ceremony, so I think it would be fine.

Most of my friends have hired professionals, but the two that didn’t the ceremony got wildly off track. The first was a family friend of the groom who spoke for 30 minutes about things him and his wife went through that had nothing to do with the couple (and ended up eating up time out of their cocktail hour) and the second was the bride’s brother who got incredibly emotional and couldn’t actually get through the whole ceremony. The other con (though I suppose this depends on the person) is you’ll likely have to write your own ceremony which can be time intensive depending on the kind of ceremony you’re looking to have.

We're having my FMIL's friend (who happens to be ordained) officiate our wedding. I'm not religious, but my FH is so I'll live to avoid spending the money on hiring an officiant.

Inexperience could be an issue if your friend you're considering asking has never done it before, but there's often a script they can read from that takes a lot of the guess work out.

My husband asked his best friend to marry us and he did a great job. He wrote the whole thing and we didn’t hear until our wedding. I’ve loved having someone close to us marry us

I think it'd be very meaningful to have someone you know do it

One of my very good friends is doing it. I wanted her to be a part of the wedding but I already had so many bridesmaids, and she’s ordained already so it was a no brainer! I love the idea of having a personal touch.