Officiant

Do whatever makes you and your fiancé happy. It is not about what anyone else wants. I think having his brother marry you two is a sweet idea.

Find out what local laws are as not every state recognizes a friend officiating as legal.

Assuming it is legal, brother cannot stand in 2 spots filling 2 roles so he will have to pick one or the other. Mother can feel anything she wants but it is not her decision.

You should do what makes you guys happy. Just make sure your state allows for a family member to officiate a wedding. I know the state we got married in (Pennsylvania) doesn't allow it.

First make sure what the laws are in the county/state that you're getting married in! Online ordination sites usually have this information on their website.

If it is legal, then I say go for it! I don't see why he can't be a groomsman, and officiate you as well. There's no rule saying that he CAN'T do both.

We're also doing this, and having our good friend marry us. It's so much more personal in my opinion!

View Quoted Comment I live in California so I believe it is allowed.

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If they get ordained online with the Universal Life Church, then it's recognized in California!

I say go for it! Your FMIL and mom need to step back. This isn't your choice to make, nor is it right for them to 'gang up' together and try to convince you to not to it.

I think it's such a great idea to have him marry you guys, since he knows you both so well and can tell your story from his perspective.

I would stick to this plan as long as that is what you and your FH wants and the brother is happy doing it.

Do you know why MIL doesn't want this to happen? Does she think it's too much responsibility on the brother? Did he express concerns about officiating to her?

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I have no idea why she doesn’t like the idea. I was told by the brother that she didn’t like it and she wants to talk to my mom about it to convince us not to let him do it. Never had a conversation with me about it.

My best friend married us, and it was amazing. Your FMIL is ridiculous so just stick to your guns and make sure that your FH tells his mom no

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My fiancé and I both agree. As long as his brother wants to do it, he will do it. We love the idea. At some point he does not want to. That’s totally fine and we will find someone else to do it.

There’s a lot more to a marriage ceremony then observation and speeches I would have the officiant stand by and orchestrate the ceremony itself to make sure nothing gets missed and that his little brother doesn’t get nervous and lose his place etc

My husband's little brother married us! It can definitely be done and I think it's a sweet gesture. I wrote out the script and we went over what would happen and it all went smoothly!

View Quoted Comment I agree with this! Our officiant was the one who took charge and ran the rehearsal, knew the order of events, suggested readings, etc. The role was much more than simply reading from a script!

Have your BIL be the officiant. Ignore MIL. She has no say in that role and I honestly don’t know why she would care. Does she want a stranger or person of worship to do it? Or does she just specifically not want this person. Regardless you don’t have to explain yourself, ask BIL and proceed without MIL