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Expert September 2021

Officiant pay

MK, on April 3, 2021 at 8:50 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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My fiancé is in the K9 division of our local sheriffs office - he asked the K9 reverend to be our wedding officiant. Reverend is so excited and honored to do this for us, but won’t accept payment.

He will not give us a price to pay him, and seems to be refusing any payment at all. We obviously aren’t going to have him marry us and take time out of his weekend to travel for our wedding without paying him for his service.
I know prices vary from area to area, but what are you paying your officiant? Are you also giving a gift?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on April 5, 2021 at 10:06 AM

VIP May 2022
Ava · on April 3, 2021 at 8:57 AM
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Aww I love how personal this is!
We are paying our officiant $400. But if yours won’t take money from you, you could always get him a huge gift card to somewhere he likes (any hobbies?), or to a nice restaurant he can take his spouse or date for an extravagant meal (maybe with house led wine pairings).
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Expert September 2021
Meghan · on April 3, 2021 at 9:25 AM
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If he doesn’t want to accept any money, I’d accept it as a gift to you and your FH. Maybe getting a nice gift to show your appreciation would be a nice gesture.
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Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on April 3, 2021 at 9:37 AM
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Totally agree with this. Also if he has to stay overnight, maybe offer to cover his room, but if he refuses, leave it be
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VIP October 2021
Monica · on April 3, 2021 at 10:31 AM
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Our family friend is a pastor, she didnt give us a price. We are giving her $200 + a nice indian shawl as a gift.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 3, 2021 at 12:09 PM
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If he refuses payment and you keep forcing it, it will create unnecessary tension so let it go. Give a nice physical gift he will appreciate long after the wedding that fits his personal interests.
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Expert May 2021
Biaani · on April 3, 2021 at 12:23 PM
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As my mom says . . learn to accept blessings and simply bless others. I agree on just accepting his gift and love the gift card idea to a nice restaurant.
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Expert May 2010
Theresa · on April 4, 2021 at 3:41 PM
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If he doesn't want to accept payment for his services, maybe make a donation to a charity in his name? Project K-9 Hero, for instance?
Or, as PPs suggested, a gift card for him to a nice restaurant?
I think that accepting his role as officiant without pay as your wedding gift is fine, too.
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Super July 2023
Eniale · on April 4, 2021 at 5:52 PM
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Agreed with Michelle that pushing the issue will only make things uncomfortable.
My suggestions:
1. Ask him if there is a charity he supports that you can make a donation to in his name. This may be even more appreciated than a gift. $200-300 would generally be appropriate.
2. A physical gift that is relevant to his interests would also be nice.
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Expert June 2021
Chelsea · on April 4, 2021 at 9:32 PM
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My husband is an officer, and this sounds spot on! I wouldn't push it. Perhaps instead of money, you could mail a nice gift after the wedding. By mailing, it's hard for him to say no!
We're paying our's $200.
Maybe instead of money (that he'll surely try to return), you can send a gift card, or a variety of gift cards, to places he enjoys. Ex: Bass Pro, Cabela's, or something hobby-related.
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Lady · on April 5, 2021 at 10:06 AM
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Just get him a nice gift as a thank you if he doesn't want payment.
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