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Sherry
Super July 2015

Officiant invited to rehearsal dinner?

Sherry, on December 5, 2014 at 3:06 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15

Our officiate is coming to our venue for an hour rehearsal and then we have the rehearsal dinner/BBQ down the road at future MIL & FIL's house....is it proper etiquette to invite the officiate? She is not a friend but did marry FH's sister last year and is a friend of her husbands family, so she would know them and their daughter. I am completely okay with it her coming but didn't know what the protocol was. Are you inviting yours to rehearsal dinner?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Celia Milton, on December 6, 2014 at 8:28 AM
  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
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    I'm not. I'm actually not having my officiant at my rehearsal since it's optional and I assume she would have something else she'd rather do with her time than sit around with people she doesn't know. lol

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  • Milwaukee_Bride
    VIP August 2014
    Milwaukee_Bride ·
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    We invited our officiant. I don't think it's really necessary, but we are relatively close with him. He didn't come for the entire rehearsal dinner - we did a cookout at DH parent's house and it was an afternoon long affair. He came for an hour maybe and we discussed any last minute things for our ceremony since we didn't have an actual rehearsal.

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  • Lauren
    Super October 2014
    Lauren ·
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    We invited ours but we had developed a relationship with him during pre-marital counseling and he still declined. I think it's always good to ask, most will probably decline...especially if it's someone whom you've hired for your ceremony rather than a close relative/friend/clergyman.

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  • B
    Master December 2015
    BunnyLove ·
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    We're inviting ours and his spouse.

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  • Kate
    Master May 2012
    Kate ·
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    I think it really depends on your situation--as Celia can tell you, not all officiants come to rehearsals, much less the dinners, and if they don't know anyone there personally (except maybe you two a little) then they probably have other things they would rather do. For us, our officiant was the senior pastor of our church who has known DH since about the time he was born--so he and his wife were both there. They knew people from our wedding party, DH's parents, etc. as well. Another thing to consider is cost--if you're having a posh dinner and don't know your officiant it could be financially smart to skip the extra meal. We had a casual RD, so it wasn't a deal at all.

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  • MrsPope
    Master September 2015
    MrsPope ·
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    Ours will be there but he is my Uncle lol. He will be at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, ceremony of course, and reception.

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  • Dani
    Super December 2014
    Dani ·
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    Ours will be there but he's a good friend of ours and married to one of my bridesmaids. I think it's nice to invite them, they may decline if they don't know anyone. Agree with what Lauren posted.

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  • Ally
    VIP October 2014
    Ally ·
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    Ours went but we are all close...I've known him since I was about eight years old...so it was a no brainer for us. Like everyone is saying it does depend on how close you are...never really thought about it before.

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  • kaylarae
    Master April 2015
    kaylarae ·
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    Ours is a personal friend who just became a preacher so we are.

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  • Kaegurl
    Master June 2014
    Kaegurl ·
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    We invited ours, but he declined.

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  • Mamma knows best
    Super April 2015
    Mamma knows best ·
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    Our vicar wont be coming to RD, but will come along to wedding reception with husband.

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  • M
    Dedicated April 2017
    Mikaela ·
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    Our officiant is my coordinator's/good friend's husband so they're both invited. I think it's acceptable to extend the invite to the officiant but they don't have to come.

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  • Sisi
    Expert August 2014
    Sisi ·
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    I'm not sure what the correct answer is etiquette wise but I figured if etiquette says you must have a rehearsal dinner for those that did the rehearsal then that includes your officiant. I could be wrong though.... We invited ours, he came. He also personally knows my husband so that could be why. I guess it doesn't hurt to extend the offer and let them decide if they want to or not.

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  • JaKLyn
    Master November 2015
    JaKLyn ·
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    We're inviting ours since he's already going to be there anyway.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    If the officiant is coming to the rehearsal, (and as Jenn said, most of us don't, especially if we're not church/temple based) then it's not necessary. If they are, you should, but they will probably decline unless they are a close friend or a family pastor (or if you are taking them with you to a destination wedding...). It's not personal ;-). I usually don't know anyone, I feel like it's a family time to reconnect, and I don't want my couples to pay for me.

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