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Dedicated September 2020

Odd fmil behaviour

Furure Mrs., on July 6, 2020 at 12:39 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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Sorry, just need to rant for a minute. So my FMIL is a really sweet woman, but she has a big personality and can be a lot to handle at times. Now, some background info... my mom and sister (MOH) are throwing me a bridal shower in my hometown (about 4 hours away) but are also including a zoom option so that my friends that anyone who feels uncomfortable in large groups can participate as well.

My FMIL sent a note to my sister after receiving her invitation and told her that the gifts purchased off of our registry will all be sent to one address (duh, I provided mine and FH's address for this when we set up our registry) and to tell everyone to have gifts sent to her house. None of this makes sense to me because 1. FMIL is going to be attending the shower via zoom, 2. FH and I live about 45 minutes from FMIL so it isn't convenient for us to have to go and get them, and 3. If we wanted to have them sent anywhere else for the sake of convenience we would obviously have them sent to my parents' house where the shower will be held. My sister politely told her that we had the shipping address covered and thanked her for her offer. Then next thing I know FMIL sends an email to her entire family and all of her friends who are invited (including myself) telling them that all gifts for the shower and wedding should be sent to her house.

My mom and sister got really upset with me over this because they think that she is assuming I will be going to her house to attend the shower via zoom instead of going to my parents' house (not too far of a reach, TBH). FH is annoyed with her because he thinks she's just trying to take whatever little bit of control she thinks she can. I don't really care, but am a bit annoyed that it's going to add an extra hour and a half to my drive when I leave for my shower to have to pick these gifts up.

She has been doing so well recently with not overstepping, but this one really came out of the blue.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Furure Mrs., on July 6, 2020 at 1:12 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    That is kind of weird - i wonder why she would change the shipping address even after consulting you guys.

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  • Sinaya
    Devoted August 2022
    Sinaya ·
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    I personally would have called her (with FH) to discuss what was set up and why, and again thank her for the offer. And then I would have replied all to the email with a correction to have them sent to the the following address which was also listed in the registry. I get she's trying to help or feel apart in some way but she's over stepping with this one.

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  • Jessica
    Rockstar September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    That is really odd and I’d definitely be pissed. Since it’s his mom, I’d have FH reach out and tell her that it was inappropriate to do this. Maybe it’s her way of ensuring she gets to see you in person that day?
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  • F
    Dedicated September 2020
    Furure Mrs. ·
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    Yeah, I thought it was really weird too! My initial reaction was that maybe she was trying to be helpful because FH and I have a PO box and have to leave work early if we get packages delivered because the post office has such short hours, but then FH mentioned that his mother doesn't even know that we can't have packages delivered to our house. So I'm not sure what her reasoning was.

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  • Kerin
    Super February 2021
    Kerin ·
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    I agree with the previous posters, and think Sinaya nailed it. Time for a conversation with a united front. Good luck!

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  • F
    Dedicated September 2020
    Furure Mrs. ·
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    Unfortunately by the time we had noticed the email most of his mom's family had already purchased off of the registry, and used her address by the sound of it. So with the damage already done I told FH not to even bother with calling her about it, although I'm sure she will get an earful next time they see each other.

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I agree. I definitely would have replied to the email that all gifts should be sent to the address listed on the registry.
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  • F
    Dedicated September 2020
    Furure Mrs. ·
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    I thought of that one too! However she knew I would be leaving the day before the shower. But it wouldn't surprise me if making sure we have to go to her house some time before the shower was her reasoning.

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