Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Savvy April 2021

October wedding drama

Jasmine, on July 11, 2020 at 8:42 PM Posted in Planning 0 8

Saved

Flag
Hide content

I was planning to have my wedding on 10/22/2020 with only 50 guests. Today when my FH and I went to meet with the venue coordinator I was informed that my immediate family does not feel comfortable attending because they consider it a large gathering and my future in laws felt the same way. Obviously we want our parents, siblings, and aunts that we are close to attend. So after some compromising we decided to invite only immediate family members and 2 close friends and their spouses. This narrows our guest list down to around 15-20. Which I am fine with since the people that really matter to us will be there, and it will save us some money. Since the venue is about 1 hour to 1 and 30 minutes away I thought we could still have a small outdoor reception and cake. However, now I’m being told that they aren’t comfortable eating! Even cake! I feel like they are completely derailing my wedding plans. Even though it’s small and there is a pandemic I would still like elements of a traditional wedding. They have pretty much told us to just go to the courthouse or postpone the wedding to next fall since my FH and I have always wanted an outdoor fall wedding. Right now I am over the whole thing! The latest I would postpone is the spring, but we could be in the exact same position. I just want to elope at this point, but I know our families would be disappointed if they weren’t there. What would you lovely brides do?

Flag
Hide content

8 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on July 12, 2020 at 1:31 PM

Master September 2020
Jessica · on July 11, 2020 at 8:52 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would elope. You tried to accommodate them and they wouldn’t go for it. Have a day that is all about the two of you.
- Reply
June 2021
Dj Tanner · on July 11, 2020 at 8:57 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would personally postpone, only for the simple fact that I do not want my guests to have to be uncomfortable or not have fun for the sake of my wedding. some guests will care very much about social distancing, and others won’t. I’m not dealing with that sort of drama on my wedding day.I also wouldn’t want to sacrifice my guest list or scale it down at all. To me personally it’s like there are many elements to a wedding such as dancing food drinks open bar socializing being with people who truly love and support you. I would never feel comfortable with my guests feeling restrained and worrying about all of these rules and regulations right now. As a bride, that’s the last thing I think I could even handle at this point so I personally think postponing is the best idea.
- Reply
Master September 2020
Nicole · on July 11, 2020 at 9:00 PM
Flag

Hide content
I know it’s easy to sit here without having a horse in the race and tell you to go and elope, but I know being in your shoes isn’t as easy. Honestly, I’d wrestle with the decision as well. However, if it really came down to it, I’d elope and have your outdoor fall wedding. I wouldn’t be happy having a wedding that was dictated by other people, but I’m also not about dictating how others should be comfortable during the pandemic. I know it’s a difficult decision. Best wishes for whichever route you decide to go.
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 11, 2020 at 9:30 PM
Flag

Hide content
I can see their concern I think it’s because when there’s eating it means people have to takeoff their masks and so maybe they had the idea that a smaller gathering everyone would still be wearing masks?
Like the other Posters have said I can’t imagine what a hard decision that might be but it does sound like it might be better to just do the ceremony only and have a reception later on.
- Reply
Expert March 2021
Marcia · on July 11, 2020 at 9:44 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would plan to get married and let them know they can come if they would like. Have a small cake and just enjoy it with your FH if need be. Going to the ceremony seems within everyone's comfort zone, so I would hold onto that!

I have a very high risk family member whose doctor signed off on small outdoor events and has expressed no concern about eating food prepared by someone else--maybe their doctors would be able to give similar peace of mind?
- Reply
Super October 2020
Michelle · on July 11, 2020 at 9:46 PM
Flag

Hide content
Oh man, if my family wasn’t comfortable attending or even eating I think I might postpone. My family and his family seem to be okay with my wedding still. If. A majority of them weren’t, especially parents, I would consider working something out.
- Reply
Devoted August 2020
Niki · on July 11, 2020 at 10:09 PM
Flag

Hide content
Girl, I’d just elope. They aren’t comfortable attending with a bunch of people and now are comfortable with eating? I would do whatever you feel in your heart is right. This is about you and your fiancé. Who cares what anyone else wants?

I’m in the same boat as you. Today our minister cancelled and then one of the groomsmen cancelled because he has the ‘rona. It’s not worth risking everyone’s health and safety for a big wedding. I’m not upset. I actually feel relieved because that’s less planning on my part. We are still getting married (after postponing once back in May) & our new date of August 23rd is the one we will keep.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this too and I wish you all the very best!!!
- Reply

Expert August 2021
Sara · on July 12, 2020 at 1:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would elope and postpone. We are doing courthouse wedding on our original date, we don't need witnesses, and then postponing until next fall. It was a huge relief for us not having to stress anymore!
- Reply