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Katelyn
Beginner October 2020

October Brides/coronavirus Stress

Katelyn, on August 1, 2020 at 11:55 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 30
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I’m getting married October 24, 2020. I’m stressed to the max... I was optimistic when the pandemic started and now it’s like there is no hope in sight. My state (MS) has basically went back into quarantine. They are issuing certain counties under strict guidelines (my county included), which means no parties over 10 inside and 20 outside. So far, the county that my venue is in has not been included in the guidelines yet and have a somewhat low numbers. How are y’all dealing with this? I’m at the point of a breakdown, and I need some other options that we could do if our venue will not let us have our wedding when we want it. Oh and I’ve been engaged for a year and half waiting for this day so I definitely don’t want to postpone. Thanks in advance.

30 Comments

Latest activity by Anna, on September 14, 2020 at 7:01 PM
  • K
    Savvy September 2021
    Kat ·
    • Flag
    We just recently postponed our October wedding due to restrictions. Things are changing daily and I was a big stress ball. We’re saving our original date to elope instead the two of us and save the party for next year
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry.

    A lot of couples are having mini ceremonies/elopements and pushing the party to next year.

    Unfortunately, there's not a lot of safe ways to have bigger celebrations right now.

    • Reply
  • A
    Savvy January 2021
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag
    Hi Katelyn, I would cry it out and reschedule. Because if you are on lockdown, it isn't safe for your loved ones to attend. If you can, still get married on your date, make it special
    • Reply
  • Marisa
    Rockstar May 2021
    Marisa ·
    • Flag

    IDK, we were planning on having our wedding in October as well and decided to postpone because we were too stressed trying to figure out ways to make it safe. There just weren’t any ways to make it safe and enjoyable for everyone. And a week later the governor of our state issued more regulations on bars/restaurants and indoor events to a maximum of 25 people so I’m glad we made the decision early. We’ve since started planning a larger celebration for next year and our elopement for this fall. We both feel so much better and relieved. We didn’t want to put anyone else at risk due to our own selfishness, and realized it would have been selfish to move forward with things as they were originally planned. This way we can still get married and hopefully celebrate with friends and family later on.

    • Reply
  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
    • Flag
    If it’s any consolation, you are definitely not alone. ❤️Postponing our huge October wedding was one of the saddest days of my life. 😢 Fast forward a couple of months and now we are actually super excited for our backyard minimony lol. In fact yesterday we decided to get luminaries to surround the mini dance floor we ordered, and I keep thinking how chill and magical our little wedding is gonna be. Hang in there!
    • Reply
  • Tabitha
    Dedicated October 2020
    Tabitha ·
    • Flag
    I’m getting married October 3rd was scheduled for the 4th however my venue is closed. We decided to get married at the house so since we live further out we moved it up a day. Yesterday I ordered tables and chairs to do a mock setup to see if it would work and I’m not feeling it at all. I was happy with our plan B but now I just want to cry. Been up all night trying to come up with something else.
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  • M
    Dedicated October 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    We postponed our Oct. 31 wedding (also engaged for over a year and a half). Honestly, it was a huge weight off my shoulders doing so. I’m no longer worried about people getting sick, or not being comfortable coming. We can have the day we want, and for now just focus on getting thru this year. Best of luck!
    • Reply
  • Suzie
    Super October 2020
    Suzie ·
    • Flag

    We are Oct 11, also engaged for 1.5 years. We postponed our big celebration to next year, but are having a micro-wedding on our date still. We are planning 20 ppl total, outside garden ceremony, with the reception at my sister’s house. We are renting a tent for the backyard, along with tables, chairs and dinnerware. We will be providing dinner, and dancing to our song. Def not the wedding I originally planned, but we still want to get married with our immediate family and a select few friends. You can def still have a magical wedding day, and throw the party another time. If your state is locked down that much, you likely wont have a lot of guests attend if you move forward with a big day. I’m putting on our Details card that we are only hosting 20 people, so guests will (hopefully) feel more comfortable to attend. The whole situation sucks, but this is where we are, so we gotta make the best out of it

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  • Jennifer
    Dedicated October 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    As of right now, we are still on for October 30. It isn’t the wedding I envisioned, but we are working with our venue and vendors and adding a virtual option. I’m planning for the worst case scenario, so we are prepared for whatever that day brings,
    • Reply
  • Cristina
    Expert October 2020
    Cristina ·
    • Flag
    I completely sympathetize with you. We recently postponed our October wedding and I was an emotional wreck at first but then it also felt like a weight was lifted because I wasn't stressed about planning anymore. We will still be getting married this year on our anniversary in my mom's backyard so we still have something to look forward to and our big ceremony will be April next year. I think like most brides you can either postpone or maybe do a mini ceremony with a immediate family and stream it on zoom for all your family to participate.
    • Reply
  • Krys
    Dedicated October 2020
    Krys ·
    • Flag

    We're October 11 and i'm only making whatever changes we absolutely have to! I wasn't fond of the big wedding to begin with, so whatever our venue tells us to do, we'll be doing and the day will go on!

    • Reply
  • Elisa
    Dedicated May 2021
    Elisa ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. This really sucks and is nothing short of awful. I'm dealing with it too--was a May bride, postponed to November 5th. Things dont seem to be getting much better, and even though we can have a whole wedding outside, a wedding outdoors is not ideal and could be problematic as I'm on the east coast and the weather could suck. We're afraid a good portion of our family will be too afraid to travel, or too afraid to attend even if they're close to the venue. (Including one of my bridesmen and matron of honor because they're on the other side of the country.) My photographer also emailed me today saying she doesn't feel comfortable due to being high risk due to her illness, leaving me only 2 months to find a new photographer. I've been engaged 2 years come October 2020.. I'll be 32 and want to move on with my life, get a house, have a baby. I reached my breaking point today...I'm just so stressed and tired of worrying about all the details, the vendors' needs, the guests needs.. I wish I had some advice to give you other than maybe getting married in someone's backyard or a park and save the party or next year. Although I completely understand the feeling of not wanting to do that at all. =[

    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag
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    To Elisa and the OP Katelyn: You are certainly not alone, and it helps me feel a bit better that I'm not alone myself. I've been engaged for THREE YEARS now (because we're funding the entire thing on our own and had to save money). We were originally scheduled for May 2020 and postponed to October 2020. I'm with you, Elisa, I'm 30 years old, and yes, we want to FINALLY have our big day, and start our family. Call me selfish; that may be true, but who isn't selfish about their own darn wedding?! We are moving forward with a smaller than planned guest list, but still probably going to have at least 50-75 people. 1) My heart just can't take it to postpone again and, more practically, 2) this virus isn't going anywhere. Schools are opening up, and the number of cases are not going to go down by next year. The state of affairs from October 2020 to, say summer 2021, is likely to be same or even worse. I wish I would've gone ahead with my May date -- cases were much better then!! But, there were stay at home orders and such. I just wanted to offer a different perspective -- we're still planning on moving forward, unless of course there's a category 3+ hurricane coming our way to the southeast coast (UGH -- another concern).

    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted October 2020
    Teresa ·
    • Flag

    We are getting married on Oct 3rd. Luckily our venue is outdoor and we will still be at the very start of the cold and flu season. I TOTALLY get the not wanting to postpone. I thought we would have to and the FH said no way! IF it was just us, the bridal party, and immediate family we were doing it one way or another. If you truly don't want to maybe you guys can just cut back on guests and have a small one then delay the honeymoon until the you guys feel it is safe. We are still booking ours but only with a resort and airline that will allow us to schedule it later if need be. We believe that if we don't book it now we will never actually go.

    • Reply
  • V
    Dedicated October 2020
    VICTORIA ·
    • Flag

    We're in NY and we have had some pretty strict guidelines since March. I was also VERY optimistic and as it got closer I realized there really wasn't any hope.

    FH and I have been together for over 5 years, postponing our marriage was NOT an option for me- absolutely not.

    That being said: marriage, to me, was not synonymous with a big celebration with everyone present.

    FH and I decided that we WOULD postpone our big celebration to next Summer- to be on the safe side. BUT, we WOULD still be getting married on our original date (10/25/2020) with exactly 8 people in attendance. My parents, his parents(and stepdad), his son, and his grandparents. We had to keep it to 10 people max because in NY we can't have more than 10 people at a restaurant table.

    It isn't what we originally wanted. But, honestly, I'm looking forward to THAT more than I'm looking forward to my date in June with everyone there! At least my "legal wedding" will be stress free and have the most important people there. Then in June we'll renew our vows with all of friends and family present- and be all set. Best of both worlds!

    This may not work for you- and that's okay! But it is something to think about Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Gabrielle
    Dedicated September 2020
    Gabrielle ·
    • Flag

    We're in a similar situation, but we are going to get married as planned anyway.

    There has been so much uncertainty, delays, disappointments that I am just ready to get it over with!

    I will celebrate with my friends and family when the situation permits. But I don't think I can delay my wedding for much longer.

    • Reply
  • Lexi
    Beginner October 2020
    Lexi ·
    • Flag

    Hey Katelyn!

    Date twins here! We just canceled our venue and have decided to have a micro wedding on the lake and have a tiny reception at a nearby estate. With things changing daily it has for sure been rough. But not knowing what will happen next year we are ready for our day! I wish you the best if you guys do postpone!

    • Reply
  • T
    Savvy October 2020
    Tammy ·
    • Flag

    We are in Upstate NY (Buffalo area) and we already postponed our wedding from June to October 17, 2020. We just learned yesterday that we cannot have dancing at our reception. We decided to continue with out 10/17/2020 date since it was stressful enough moving it from June. At this point we are ready to just say our I dos and have a nice dinner with family.

    • Reply
  • Risa
    Savvy October 2020
    Risa ·
    • Flag
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    Gosh I could have written this post..my thoughts exactly...down to the hurricane thoughts!. Had also moved my May 24 wedding to October 18 and we're like ugh why didn't we just do it in May? We had hopes of getting his family here from California by October and now just hoping schools opening up don't set us backwards too much in NY... We're going to do a small wedding that our guests are able to watch on zoom (our videographer is going to be doing it for us) and then as soon as this is over I'm just gonna pick a random bar and have a fun night out with our friends! We're so ready to just put this behind us and start working towards the rest of our lives. As stressful as it is to make this as safe as possible it was worse having to deal with the devastation of postponing and the stress of contacting all our vendors. There's no predicting what will come next so kind of just ready to live in the moment. I don't find things changing much and who knows who will feel comfortable with a big wedding even a year from now so might as well just soak in the happiness of a wedding when we need it!

    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Beginner October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank y’all so much for the input! We recently got some very good news! Our venue is allowed to have weddings at half capacity indoors (so 175 people and have to have masks). So we will be able to have it there and if they have to close we get half of our money back! Thank y’all so much for relating with me over such an uncertain time! 💗💗
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