October 2020 weddings.. postpone or no?

View Quoted Comment That is our plan as well. We recently moved from 10/30/2020 to 10/30/2021 with the same reason as you. I don’t mind some of modifications for our wedding, but no reception with no dancing is not what we envisioned. We are in CA and it is more likely the state might go in further lockdown and we feared the guest attendance will be low. There are just too much stress and uncertainty trying to have a wedding in 2020. Hope things get better in 2021.

We are trying to make a decision on this within the next few weeks - Our date is October 23, 2020. Our plan has been to keep pushing forward until they say we can't but now we're getting closer to the actual date and we gotta start finalizing certain things so...yeah. At this point i feel like the whole planning process has been really ruined... i'm trying to push through those feelings of feeling bummed out but the closer we get the more i'm not looking forward to it anymore.

We decided to ask our guests how they feel about attending and will make our decision that way. So far, majority of our close friends and our families are still on board for this year, but many have said they'd be wearing a mask up until it's time to eat. So that's going to be something to consider. If we do have it this year, majority of our photos are going to have everyone's faces covered...

We've been together a long time though and had originally intended for Oct 2019 but pushed to Oct 2020 due to my dad dying. Now we're considering pushing again to 2021... but since we don't want to wait we are doing the private intimate ceremony no matter what and will have a huge shebang in 2021 if that's what needs to be done.

Never would have guessed that so many variables could weigh in with such a decision though. This is what we've been thinking about:

the obvious: our guests getting sick and potentially worse all because of our wedding...that's no way to start a marriage. We were already sick with Covid, so hopefully we have some level of immunity from it.

the kinda obvious: the repercussions of not having it this year - vendors going out of business and not being able to have your wedding or get your money back.

Or having your wedding - low attendance amounts, wasting of your money cause of low attendance, logistics of having the ability to set up enough social distancing space, another shut down happening just before your day AND STILL screwing it up. Potentially having to cut people from your guest list and the sad, awkward conversation that is and what comes of that afterwards if you do decide to have it. (we already have a small wedding of 50-70 ppl and a venue that fits up to 300 so this is actually not something we're too worried about but i know it's effecting people)

the not so obvious: the pictures that you will have to see for the rest of your life with people wearing masks at your wedding; the ruining of the happy ambiance of a wedding with the fear of a social distancing event. the money issues - i know for us we were planning to do this now in 2020, and then 2021 focus our cash on buying a house and starting a family etc and it kinda muddies that a bit. I've seen a lot of people talking about how this is just screwing up their plans for things to come; the scheduling issues, fitting into your dress next year if you have your dress already etc. So much stuff just screwed up from all of this.

Hoping for the best for you with your decision making and hoping you will have a lovely wedding no matter what!

View Quoted Comment We are capped with 50 people as of this point