NWR - Turning down being a Godparent

Oh that sucks. I have been asked only once and I jumped at the chance! I love that lil kid! Not sure what to say, sorry.

Go the same way you turn down a date, "I'm really flattered, and I wish I could, but I can't." If you feel like your reason is something that's not insulting to them that they'll understand, like, "My health won't allow me to supervise your child's spiritual growth" then include it. If not (like "your child's a twit and I don't want anyone thinking I'll adopt him if you die!") just leave it at "I can't".

My friend said he wasn't ready for this responsibility yet.

It's a big commitment. You have to put yourself in the place of, "If my friends/family members were to pass away, I would be responsible for their child." If that's something you could take on right now, it's better the pass up the honor, than accept it & have something tragic like that happen. You always have to prepare for the unexpected. I think, if I were a parent, I would rather have you be honest, then promise something you might not be able to keep.

Can I ask what your reason is? I am the proud godmother of my nephew I didn't even realize people ever turn that down. I won't have to worry about it until my third child because of our siblings and their spouses being the first 2 sets, but now i'll remember that!

It isn't to be the kid's guardian if the parents die. Those two things are kept very separate here. It is just the church godparent, spiritual stuff.

I have 2 godchildren already and I love being their godmother. I love my friend and their kid is lovely but they don't go to church, actually they dont believe in god and are just doing it because it is 'what you do'. Which is why I'm not comfortable doing it.

I was just going to say, just because you are a child's (spiritual) godparent, does not mean you will be their guardian should both their parents pass.

Side note: We are my FHs (nephew) godparents through the church and we would also be his guardian should Jared's sister and brother-in-law both die but that is written in their will. One does not have anything to do with the other.

I would hope that your friend would understand if you have a conflicting ideology. I would be honest and tell your friend that given you feelings on the church where the Christening is to be, you don't feel it would be in the best interest of the child or your friendship for you to agree to be a God parent to the child.

You could offer to be a "Guideparent" ... Leave the religion out but just be there to support the child and give them life advice.

Godparent doesn't imply guardian. If it did, my kids would be split up god forbid something happened to us.

Ahh i see your problem. i think in your situation i would probably tell them my conflict, and say that if i accepted the responsibility, i would accept the WHOLE responsibility. as in, i would attempt to take the child to church with me whenever i could and actually try to raise it in the faith. they would probably take the offer back at that point

Maybe they are planning a baby welcoming/naming ceremony with Guideparents rather than a religious ceremony with Godparents?

I recently officiated my first baby welcoming ceremony and it was great.

How do you know they dont believe in god?? like 100%? if they want godparents that means they do, so if youre turning them down youll have to say why

Good point Shannon

No, Nancy, it's a Christening, I even know what church it is in

Anisea - I've known them for a very long time, and I know they dont. Plus they have said previously that a christening is 'just what you do'

I like Shannon's suggestion but dont think i would have the gall to actually say it.

Is it in your church/denomination ?because if not you could use that as an excuse

Otherwise I think you just have to say the actual reason as long as you think they would be okay with it

In that case, tell them you'd take the responsibility very seriously and that you'd make sure that the child attends church every Sunday. If they are not fine with that, they'll rescind their request for you to be godparent and you won't be the "bad guy."