NWR: My birthday: Am I being selfish?

Then my best friends who I've always gone above and beyond for on their birthdays are too busy to spend anytime with me. I get that I'm an adult and I shouldn't care but I care so much about everyone and sometimes it hurts when I realize that it's not always the same way. Sorry! I just needed to rant.

I wouldn't say you're being selfish. Sometimes it's disappointing when you have expectations of something based on previous experiences and it just doesn't work out. Can you plan a little get together at your house (and invite who you want) for cake maybe next weekend?

I just don't want to force anyone to celebrate my birthday if they don't want to or are too busy. I totally understand that people have lives and that's fine. I'm just a little disappointed like you said.

I kind of see your side. But you are an adult. This year on my birthday I had my FH's grandfathers funeral... like obviously that wasn't fun.

We spent the day before together and had brunch. He even took the day off just so we can celebrate a day early.

We couldn't control his death and I wasn't going to be upset over that.

After the funeral my parents took us out to dinner and it was great.

Just celebrate with your FH. Don't stress over this

@Hannah That's terrible, I'm so sorry. Yeah I'm not, I think I'm just stressed over other things and I might be making a bigger deal over this than I should be

Why don't you invite your cousin to go eat with you and FH?

I can understand your frustration and hurt feelings, espically if a big deal is made about a sibling.

Last year on my birthday, we went to Georgia to see FH's father right before he passed away. That was really tough, but life happens. What about you and your FH doing something? Go to a nice dinner just the two of you.

I get being bummed but I would just make your own plans. Plan do go out to dinner with FH where you want & invite a few people. If they can make it, great! If they can't, you still go and have a nice dinner. Life is busy and people get caught up in the stress of their own lives. I doubt they are intentionally ignoring your birthday.

Honestly, it's a birthday and you are an adult woman. Yes, it's an important day for you and for others around you, but you have one every year and people may be busy due to it being a weekday. I know this may be hurtful, but you can always invite others over for cake or for drinks/dessert out and if people want to come, great! If not, have a nice time with your FH and make it a special evening that you two share together.

Also, just a side note -- you go above and beyond for others because you are that type of person. Expecting others to be as diligent or aware as you are isn't reasonable. YES! We should have these expectations and IMO, my friend and family members should be able to meet the simple expectation of celebrating my birthday. But, not everyone is like that. Going above and beyond for someone should be done because you love them, not because you expect something in return. You'll be hurt that way, which it seems like you are.

Anyway, please know you are special and loved on every day -- including your birthday and all the other days of the year. Some people just don't always show it the same way.

Even as a child, I didn't expect a birthday celebration mid-week.

Thanks everyone! I think I'm just stressing over other things and it's making this worse. Obviously I shouldn't be expecting people to keep a big deal of my birthday, because I know as adults people have lives. I think I just needed some unbiased opinions.

I feel you, I'm one of those people who goes out of my way to plan things/participate in activities for my friends and get disappointed when that isn't reciprocated. You can't control how you feel about it. But I would try to move past it, and see if people are available to celebrate on the weekend before or after your birthday. Mid-week get togethers are hard and I don't know if you can really hold it against people if they can't make it. The idea of hanging out with your FH and cousin was a nice one!

I can see why you're upset but you're an adult. Not everyone is supposed to celebrate anything especially when they have work and things like that. Be happy that people even remember. It only matters when you're a kid.

Is your brothers birthday a milestone? Is yours

Birthday celebrations tend to die down as you get older, unless it's a milestone. I'm sorry you're disappointed though.

When you get older you find that you take things into your own hands. You pick a day you want to go out and let everyone know you are having a get together for your birthday.

I think you should decide what YOU want to do and then invite people to do it with you the weekend before or after your birthday. If it's mid-week, it'll probably just be you and your FH.

How old are you OP.....?

"You'll end up very disappointed if you grow up thinking everyone has the same heart as you do"

Cheer up, once you get older birthdays aren't going to be a huge deal for everyone in your family. Like PPs have said, go out to dinner with you and FH and celebrate. Is your brother younger than you? That could be the reason your mom is paying more attention to his birthday?

Nobody's birthdays are mile stones. I'm turning 26 and my bother is turning 23. I totally get what everyone is saying. I'm not one to make a big deal of these things normally, I really just think that I'm stressing over other things and it's making me sad about this.