Nuts & Mints VS. Sit Down Meal Reception Conundrum

I've never been to a wedding where a full meal was not offered. When you're spending several hours at a party, you typically expect to eat right? lol

I would say a meal is non-negotiable at an evening wedding. Everything else you listed isn't necessary though.

If you'd prefer to not host a full meal, don't make it during a meal-time and make it shorter (like a cake and punch reception that lasts an hour and allows you to thank each guest individually). In the morning or mid-afternoon could work.

From my understanding, it is a newer thing that people have a full meal at a wedding. Weddings have become much bigger than they were but yours doesn't have to be.

The difference is that I'm not coming to your nut, mints and punch wedding.

A non-mealtime cake & punch reception where you offer guests light snacks and desserts is fine. Just putting out bowls of nuts like it's the VFW is not okay.

You don't have to buy in to the Pinterest wedding either. If you provide a proper meal with drinks, a seat for every butt, some music, then most of the other things you mention could be nixed.

Their are several types of hosted weddings and none of them are wrong you just have to make sure you host your guests properly.

Cake &punch reception: not very long, guests are provided with several beverage options, cake (maybe other desserts) and light finger foods

Brunch reception: Earlier in the day breakfast and light lunch fare provided and usually light alcohol (mimosas, bloody marys, etc)

Cocktail reception: either mid- afternoon or later at night, just not during a meal time. Guests are offered plenty of non-alcoholic and alcoholic beverage options and heavy amounts of appetizer style foods, usually some stationary and some passed.

"Normal" reception: the whole sha-bang during lunch or dinner and full meal and alcohol is provided.

Favors, guest welcome bags, photobooths and extra "entertainment" are not necessary. Those options should be personal choices based on your budget and person tastes.

Do whatever it is that you can afford and host properly depending on your financial situation and size of your guest list.

Also there is nothing wrong with eloping, if that is where you are leaning and it would make you and your future spouse happy go for it.

There are all kinds of variations on wedding celebrations that run the gamut but nuts and punch is not one of them. I"m pretty much a minimalist when it comes to wedding entertaining, but that's too minimal, bordering on nonexistent.

You don't need favors, you don't need OOT bags, mariachi bands or complicated meals. You need food and alcohol (unless you're in a church that won't allow it).

Or you could elope and do a nice little lunch or dinner afterwards.

Thanks for all the input...probably just letting all the 'input and advice' get to me today.

I am trying to be understanding: back in their day (the older ladies that are scoffing at the dinner/larger reception) a table with grandma's crocheted table cloth, a bowl of nuts, a bowl of those chalky mints and punch WAS pretty much the 'norm'. I get it. But I have to admit - it did make me start to question: is all of this other stuff overboard??? The suggestions are great, and I realize that it needs to be within our budget and what we envision.

I should probably back away from the planning today and give myself a breather!!! Ha ha

When I was growing up in the 60's and 70's I attended several afternoon (like 2pm) weddings. Afterwards there was cake, punch, nuts, and mints in the church social hall and everyone went home before dinner. Are they from an older generation and that is how their weddings were done?

None of my DD's had weddings like that and we didn't want them like that, but they were pretty common in my parents generation.

Hi Jeleebeenz - yes, they are from that generation, and they have been vocal about the current trends of bigger receptions with meals, etc.

Ultimately it comes down to what we want and can afford.....I think the opinions just hit me at a time that set me to question everything! Ha ha

Lovebubbles copy and paste. Well said.

Looks like you are getting married in 6 months so you should make a decision soon! Do you have a venue yet?

Edited to clarify why I am asking ... Perhaps you have already committed to a venue that allows you to be flexible and and change to a morning or afternoon reception?

I guess I'm lucky. My parents had two receptions because my grandparents hated each other. My parents said their wedding was so stressful and they'd agree to whatever I wanted. As far as your "advice" from family, this is your day so do what you can, as nicely as you can, within your budget. Maybe it's cake and punch, heavy appetizers, 7 course dinner or backyard BBQ? Just make it your own and be true to your heart.

I have never heard of a nut reception. Please serve your GUESTS a meal.

OK, there is a LOT of wiggle room between a "million dollar pinterest wedding", and just nuts and mints. You could do a cocktail hour and just serve some drinks and light appetisers or have a brunch wedding. Ultimately, it depends on what YOU have envisioned. Do you want a really short wedding, or do you want people to stay all evening and have a good time? If you don't feed people, they aren't going to stay. If you don't really want a wedding, by all means go to the courthouse and make a small dinner reservation at a restaurant after to have a nice meal with close family. If you want guests and to have a ceremony and reception, nuts and mints will not cut it. I offer more than just nuts when friends pop over to my house for a quick evening drink.... You will be HOSTING people. You have to feed them.

Not to mention, people will bring you gifts, attend pre-wedding showers, etc, and then they just get a handful of nuts in return? Doesn't seem very nice...

My parents had one of these "nut and mint" receptions when they got married in 1982. When she first suggested I serve "peanuts and punch" I was really upset because I felt like she wasn't taking me seriously. Once I realized where she was coming from, and that I didn't want to go broke, FH and decided to modify our cake and punch reception to include tea sandwiches, fresh veggies, and fresh fruit. And of course, cake. I suppose it'll look a bit like afternoon tea, but that isn't the theme. I big all night party doesn't fit our personalities, or our budget, at all. We wanted to get married in our church, and are fine with an "old-school" kind of reception, but I wanted to offer more than nuts and mints because I wouldn't want to eat that. I would totally nom a little chicken salad croissant and some baby carrots and pineapple and strawberries and then a healthy slice of cake would be divine.