Now...ring bearer shoes?

If you have a clear vision tell her he can change into converse for the reception. I mean you asked for dress shoes!

I'd just say no. You've asked for black shoes, nothing specific, and thats not a challenging request to fulfil. Plus it would look odd if one was different, IMO. You're right, it's not a hill to die on, and if she presses, I'd let it go, but insist on black shoes first.

I'm not entirely up to speed on apparel for kids in weddings, but here's my gut feeling.

For starters, five little kids is too many. Next, if you want them in something specific, you buy it. Third, even though I hate converse sneakers, he's a little kid.

They're not props. And unless you're willing to pay for their entire outfit, you don't have a lot of say in the matter.....

I can understand you're frustrated but it's really not a hill to die on like you said. He's a kid. Maybe he hates wearing dress shoes and Chucks are the only shoes she can get him to put on without him putting up a fight.

Nordstrom Rack has black dress shoes for kids really cheap. I was considering them for my son since I couldn't find brown ones. But then DSW saved the day. Eta: can you afford buying them? The are most likely no to wear them again

Stick to the black shoes. Converse are not dress shoes! Offer to buy them if cost is an issue.

U don't need to buy them. People should respect that it's your wedding and your vision

It's your day. They should be abiding by your wishes. I had to have a specific color nail Polish for a friend's wedding - she was that picky! My fiance has two boys under age 6 and they will BOTH be wearing black dress shoes at the wedding. It's up to you, but I would stand your ground. I was in the photography business for almost 10 years and believe me...his shoes WILL stand out in pictures

Just tell her that you don't think sneakers are appropriate for a church wedding. Maybe you can compromise on him changing into the sneakers after the pictures are over, for the reception.

I get that you're okay with them wearing whatever white dress shirt and black pants they have, but the thing is, kids grow super fast and if they're little, there is a good chance the parents are going to have to buy both of those items, then the vest/bow tie as well.

I wouldn't make them buy shoes. What a little kid has on his feet is not a big deal.

You can buy their shoes if it matters that much to you.

Maybe he doesn't have dress shoes, I doubt his mom wants to buy shoes he will wear once before outgrowing them

To be fair, they won't wear the yellow bow tie/vest again either. And I'm sure my BP will never wear their dresses again either. I certainly didn't *plan* it that way but let's be honest- that's typically what happens. The moms didn't scoff at the $14 price for the little accessories. And presuming they DONT have a white shirt/black pants is the same as presuming they do. I know for a fact some do have those already. I don't think my request is unreasonable. 5 little boys is too much ...I totally agree. But... 11 weeks out and it's too late to change. But yes- I wouldn't have involved ONE after the drama surrounding it (an issue entirely separate from silly shoes)....which is why I'm so exasperated. Had I known the littlest things would put other people's nose out of joint, I may Would have eloped.

I would stick with solid black but not insist on any specific shoe. No one will notice their shoes as long as they are completely one color.

I would say "Have you looked at Payless or similar for cheap black dress shoes for him? I honestly don't feel sneakers are appropriate for the ceremony, but am okay with him changing afterwards for the reception."

**I bought my son a cute "Ring Bearer" black t shirt and brought khaki shorts and comfy shoes for him to wear to the reception because he fussed SO much about wearing the suit. It was a great compromise. He understood he only had to wear it for 30 minutes or so.

If she still pushes, I'd offer to buy them.

"Let me know his shoe size, I'm happy to pick some up for you or order them on Amazon and have them shipped to you if you need me to!"