Not so excited Mom

You will slowly learn that no one (even your mom) will be as excited about your wedding as you.

You could try to involve her the best you could and ask her opinions on things but don't expect too much from anyone.

Do you think she's nervous because she feels like she needs to pay for something?

Yeah no one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you. My mom didn't get into the whole wedding planning thing with me until maybe a month before the wedding.

My mom and myself don't have a great relationship so I'm almost in the same boat. When I told her the wedding date she didn't seem to care too much along with my sisters who are standing in the wedding as well. My FMIL is more involved but even at times she seems uninterested which is fine but sucks sometimes cause I feel like I have to run ideas by her cause my FILS are helping with the wedding financially

Hey, remember. At some point there will be a time where you will eventually have to start your own family unit. You are not alone. Mothers have an attachment/jealousy towards their children that nobody who isn't a parent themselves wont understand. No one ever expects the day for their children togrow and marry and move on. If you focus too much onthe outsider influence you will never focus on what's important..... You and you new husband

Yes! My mom is like that as well. I got my wedding day jewelry and she had no reaction. When I got my dress, it was the same thing. I broke down one day and she confessed that she was upset she was not being included in everything. I've been trying to include her more, but she is still not super excited most of the time. Only sometimes. It sucks, but I have to remember she has her own life, her own things that she is stressed about and thinking about on a daily basis and it doesn't always include my wedding. She and my dad are also paying for the wedding AND her mom was not involved in her wedding planning at all so I think part of her indifference comes from resentment that I'm getting my dream wedding and from stress about money. Try to bring it up to her in a neutral manner, saying "If you can, I wanted to ask if you would be more involved in the planning. I really value your opinion, and sometimes I just want my mom to be there with me as I plan this important day. Is that something we could work on together?"

Thank you everyone for the comments. It helps a lot to know I'm onto the only one feeling this way. Maybe I was just hoping my mom could at least be involved more because she's not putting a penny into my wedding. That's the least I thought she could do. My FMIL is more involved than my mom. Not that I'm complaining but it's not the same feeling.

My mom is not excited at all.. she has even said she is not happy I am getting married... but that is because someone else will be moving here... since I am taking care of her

I'm sorry about your mom, it is such an exciting time for you and I'm sure you want your mom to share in that!

I can kind of relate. My FH and I are high school sweethearts and have been together for 6 years. When he finally asked my mom for her blessing this past May, she and my stepdad basically told him "no". Because they thought we weren't ready. Needless to say, when he did eventually work up the courage to pop the question without their blessing in September, they were not totally thrilled. My FH is still upset with them (rightfully so), and I am still a little irked. So telling her my wedding ideas is scary because every time I do she says "it's still too early to solidify plans". Like I'm going to change my mind, which I definitely am not.

I hope your mom comes around though!

My mom isn't as excited as I though she would be but because she felt she needs to pay for everything.

I feel for you, I reallyreallyreallyreally want someone IRL to be as excited with me as I am....but I don't have that. And that's OK.

Thankfully, the lovely ladies and gents here on WW provide me an excellent outlet for my excitement!

When I called my grandma to tell her I was engaged she said "dammit" and hung up on me. lol. She is anti-marriage.

My mom is only excited about certain things...what she will wear and my dress are pretty much it. Maybe you need to find an aspect that she can get into? I'm sorry you feel like this. It stinks not being able to share your excitement.

My mom isn't involved with my planning either and I actually prefer it that way. The less people that know the better in my opinion.

Maybe it is because you had such a long engagement. A few times I felt excited when friends told me they were engaged, but then when it took 2 years or more to get married, the excitement just wore off.

AMEN Elphaba!! We raised both our sons with the approach that as soon as they showed the judgement and skill set to do something/make a decision about something, from then on it was theirs and not ours. So as a parent I've NEVER felt like I wanted them to be my little boys forever. The whole point was to raise responsible individuals who can choose what they think a successful life is and be able to make it happen. No rose colored glasses on this momma's eyes. Doesn't mean I don't adore them and want us to share our lives but it means I don't own them or have the right to tell them how to live theirs.

Yea, my mom is not excited at all except for the shower that she's planning. Every time I try to ask her opinion she says she doesn't have time or she doesn't care. She didn't even have anyone she wanted to invite.

Honestly my mom wasn't excited or didn't seem excited ... she would first dodge it or avoid the topic... mothers do have a attachment someway somehow and "we are leaving them" my mom is super clingy with her children but she's slowly getting excited especially now are past the one year mark .. I just give my mom attention and it seems to do the trick

I think its just a huge adjustment and almost a bittersweet time for a mom. I'm sure your mom will come around; if she doesn't its her lost. Don't let her negatively get to you. Good Luck!!!

Completely understand this.

I just finished talking to my best friend about the same thing. When something good is happening in your life, a lot of people do not want to see you happy and that is including family members. My mom acts the same way, and it hurts but I learned to accept it.