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Taylor
VIP October 2022

Not separating day before wedding

Taylor, on March 20, 2022 at 11:12 AM Posted in Community Conversations 5 58
Hello! For anyone already living with their partner before being married, did you decide to separate from your partner day before? Anyone give you qualms about not? My fiancé and I are having a wedding a few hours away and we weren’t planning to separate until we have to get ready. We’re staying in a hotel together the night before and will drive over together the morning of. My mother and my sister were both surprised that we’re going to stay together and said that we’re jinxing our marriage. My fiancé and I are not superstitious people and don’t think any of that matters. No matter what we’re going to stick to this as we want to be excited together the day before and the morning of but did anybody else make this choice and did anyone tell you that you should reconsider?

58 Comments

Latest activity by Lynne, on April 7, 2022 at 1:16 AM
  • B
    Devoted June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    Well with my first wedding, we separated the night before and we still ended up getting a divorce. I will say it was fun to separate the night before because I had a sleepover with some of my best friends.

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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    We’ve gone back and forth about this. We are having a destination wedding, so we will be staying in a hotel room together the days leading up to the wedding. In order to separate the night before, we would have to rent another hotel room for FH. We are already having to rent another room the day of our wedding (so that the groomsmen have somewhere to get ready together) so renting the room an additional night would just be yet another cost. On the other side though, it would then allow FH to move his stuff into the room the day before, instead of rushing to do it the day of when all the guys are doing an activity together. Plus rushing would likely lead to him forgetting things, so being able to help him the night before might be better for both of us haha One thing I worried about was not getting good sleep the night before with him not in the room with me. But I guess I could always have my MOH stay with me. And bonus: no being woken up with FH’s snoring 5 times/night! 😆 And also no fighting for the shower, etc. in the morning if he’s in another room.
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  • Liz
    Devoted June 2022
    Liz ·
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    We’ve already been together 11 years so I don’t think spending one more night together is really going to jinx our marriage, haha. We’re staying in our air bnb the night before and FH will drop me off to get ready with the bridal party and then we won’t see each other until the first look. That already feels like a long time! No one has given us any issues with this.
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2022
    Taylor ·
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    Yeah we’ve been together almost 8. We have to set up morning of so we’ll be there early setting up and then I’ll go my separate way for a few hours to get ready and he’ll go get dressed. I don’t even want to be separated a few hours until the first look lol
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    We didn't separate. We've been living together for years and honestly, I sleep terribly when he's not there because I'm so used to it. The superstition has more to do with old school traditions related to purity and virginity. No one made any comments about our decision. Plus, we weren't about to pay for another hotel room just to keep up with some silly tradition we don't believe in.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    We planned to separate the night before the wedding, but when it was time for my wife to go stay with a friend we were both like “wait…why are we doing this?” So she just stayed home lol. We seem to be working out pretty alright.
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  • Kristen
    Expert February 2023
    Kristen ·
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    We aren’t going to. We don’t sleep as well when we sleep apart. Might as well get as much good shuteye as possible the night before.
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  • Tineshia
    Dedicated December 2022
    Tineshia ·
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    We don’t believe in superstitions, but we will be staying in a separate hotel rooms, only because we don’t want to be going back and forth and plus makeup starts at 8am. So a few of my girls will be staying with me.
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2022
    Taylor ·
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    We’re not superstitious either. And we’ll be getting ready at the venue
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  • Star
    Devoted October 2019
    Star ·
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    We did something similar to this. Except our wedding was in our town where we live (long story short (as short as I can keep it 🤣). , I preferred to have eloped ,but husband really wanted to have a traditional wedding in town at our church with his family and not to elope just him & I, like I wanted originally etc etc, but after our wedding ,of course, he saw what I was trying to tell him and so he also regrets not eloping), so ultimately —-listen to your intuition & stuck to what you/what your future spouse want. This is your and your s.o.’s wedding day. And while, yes, you can have a vow renewal, anniversary celebrations etc, later on, you ,unfortunately, can’t go back in time and redo your wedding day.


    So if staying together the morning of is what you both for sure want, then I say go for it.
    We stayed together the night before and as long as we could the morning of as well until we had to finish wedding planning things and getting ready for the day (another thing we regret is not a wedding day of coordinator, but that’s a whole other story lol)
    Just do what you feel will make you both the happiest and don’t listen to anyone else. While they may have the best of intentions, it’s not their wedding, not their wedding day, nor their marriage.
    You make your own luck. Especially on your wedding day. 💕Best Wishes &Hope this helps.
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  • J
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Jess ·
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    My fiancé and I aren’t going to separate the night before! We just don’t want to and we don’t really care what the etiquette is…we are just separating once we’re at the venue for us both to get ready Smiley smile. I say just do what YOU want to do. Seeing each other or not seeing each other the night before or the morning of is not going to make or break your wedding day OR your marriage! Smiley smile
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  • Bird
    Super June 2021
    Bird ·
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    We separated the night before because of several reasons.


    I was going to a salon near my house the morning of the wedding. I also needed the hotel room starting at 10am (check in usually starts at 3pm so it made sense for us to rent the room the night before.) I actually dropped off my dress and all my stuff the day before, before our rehearsal, so it was all there. The hotel was near where he was getting ready. So that part was all logistical. I also felt like I would be nervous/antsy/not be able to fall asleep and worried about not sleeping well due to his snoring so that was a factor as well. It was also the fact that we wanted something to look forward to. We’ve lived together for years and one night apart could make our wedding experience a tad bit more special.
    Ps. He has since gotten a cpap and no more snoring!
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  • E
    Devoted May 2023
    Ebony ·
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    Do what y’all want to do💯Whatever makes y’all BOTH happy is what’s most important. I caught myself trying to make things work and do things that people wanted my fiancé and I to do; and I wasn’t happy doing it. I had to learn that this is the person I’m going to be with for the rest of my life and I want to do what WE want to do.


    We did agree on not seeing each other the day of the wedding. And it’s only because we want to surprise each other with how good we look😂. It had nothing to do with jinxing…so whatever y’all decided good luck 🍀 ❤️
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  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    We're only separating the night before because we're getting ready an hour apart. I'll be staying at our house where the girls are getting ready and most of the girls will have a sleepover there. He'll be staying at the hotel, because that's where the guys are getting ready. Originally the guys were going to get ready at his parents but we had to change that plan, if we didn't have to change, he would have stayed at our house, the girls would have stayed at the hotel and traveled to my house in the morning.

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2022
    Taylor ·
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    We’re getting ready at the venue. There’s a bridal suite for me and my half and then there’s an airstream on property for him and the guys so we won’t have to worry about any of that thankfully
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2022
    Taylor ·
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    We’re literally attached at the hip. We would hate to have to separate before absolutely necessary lol
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    I equate staying together to doing a first look. If it's something you want to do then go for it, if it's going to worry you, bug you, or you simply don't want to do it then don't do it. At the end of the day, it's y'all's day, so do what you want and don't let other people dictate what makes you happy.

    Personally, we're planning to be separate from after the rehearsal dinner until the ceremony. To quote Michael Scott, "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious" 😂 I also know I'll probably be restless the night before and FH's snoring won't help. Plus I'm getting up earlier for hair and makeup and he'll probably take the dogs to wherever we decide on having them stay.

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  • Ashley
    Savvy November 2022
    Ashley ·
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    We're staying together at the hotel the night before. We both know we sleep better together (since we live together) and I want to keep my routine as normal as possible. I'll get up to workout in the morning and likely won't see him again until our first look.

    Do what you're comfortable with and don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise. I've had multiple people comment on us sharing a hotel room the night before but it's what we want to do.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I still slept with my husband the night before the wedding. i did not believe in that superstition

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  • Katherine
    Expert October 2021
    Katherine ·
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    Me and my husband didn’t separate the night before. We had a couple people tell us to do so. My only option if doing so was to sleep in a hotel alone which I didn’t want to. We figured who cares then we went to do our own thing morning of. It was kinda fun knowing it was the last sleep and morning as fiancés then ending the day as married.
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