Not seated with husband at rehearsal dinner—weird?

View Quoted Comment Hi Jenna, I want to know your opinion on this: I am super uncomfortable being the center of attention. Having a table just my fiancé and I makes me uncomfortable. I want my closest friends right next me to relieve some of that stress actually, it is honestly what I always wanted as my wedding, to be next to my wedding party.

We have placed these people with people they know and are friends with. If they have kids, they are sitting with the kids. So I’m trying to make them as less uncomfortable as possible.

I am not loving the idea that being a bride everyone is focused on me. I’ve had paincked attacks thinking about it. This will help.



We even offered them to sit with their significant others and everyone said they would sit at the head table.

N o one really had an issue with it. However, I do see your point. I would be uncomfortable too, but I would talk to the people at the table. Have some fun, meet new people and enjoy the occasion.

View Quoted Comment Cassandra, as long as everyone and their significant others are okay with it, then that's fine... but make sure they aren't just saying yes to keep the peace when they're actually not okay with it. I completely see your point and I understand the social anxiety. I hate to say this but you two will still be the center of attention considering it is your wedding, but if you feel it will help you, I get that. I don't know how big your bridal party is, but is there a way to have their families sit with them there?
Also, it sounds like all of their significant others have friends at the wedding so while I'd still prefer to sit with my FH, that at least helps. I would just ask them again but make sure their SO's are okay with it too and make sure they're being honest about how they feel. I respect you being willing to see both sides of the situation.

I don't think it is that big of a deal. It's to eat. Who cares if you cant sit together. It's not your wedding and personality I'd be offended by someone trying to change seating arrangements. I would never say anything about something so little like that.

I'd be annoyed, and I'd feel really bad for your husband. Does he even know the people he's to be seated with? If I were in his shoes, I'd rather just stay home.

I'd ask as someone mentioned above, to be seated with him. You don't need to be at the head table (is this even a thing for a RD?)

Head tables are the worst! my Fiance was the best man for a wedding and I was seated at a random table with people I didn't know. I barely even saw my Fiance at the wedding because of all the duties he had. I wish people would stop doing that, the couple doesn't even engage with the bridal party while eating so everyone is just awkwardly sitting there making googly eyes at their SO's seated elsewhere lol

I don't mean to offend anyone, it's just my own opinion.

Note: I was replying to a comment, I know the OP is not asking about head tables.

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Head tables in any variety are the worst. I've been at weddings where I was seated with my FH at the head table and it was SO AWKWARD. I was one of two people not in the bridal party who had to take my seat before introductions and everyone was just staring at us trying to figure out who were were before the bridal party came into dinner. I would have much rather sat with strangers than that. I sincerely want head tables in any form to forever disappear and just do the Sweetheart table. That way BOTH awkward versions are never to be seen again. (Apparently I'm way more passionate about this than I ever thought I was, haha)

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Oh no that's even worse! at least you had another person to share the awkwardness with and it wasn't just you! We're doing a sweetheart table! all my bridesmaids will sit together with their respective others and so will the groomsmen....as it should be haha

I really dislike honour tables. I would just ask to sit with your spouse for your comfort and his. Is she also doing an honour table for the wedding?

Have a conversation with her, not us. This is a situation where no 2 people will feel exactly the same and no one has the relationship you do with your friend. If you are adamant that you want to sit with your husband, let her know. Every rehearsal dinner I have been to has been different in ways, but are all the same in one. The actual eating part is a small percentage of the entire evening.

Wow, it is one meal. You will and have eaten many meals without your spouse. For all we know this bride could be on here as well asking these same questions, some of these responses on here are very selfish. Not going to the rehearsal dinner as the maid of honor because you cant sit with your husband??? She actually took the courtesy to let you know and not walk in surprised.

View Quoted Comment Given ALLLLL the crap she has put you thru, personally at the REHEARSAL DINNER I would sit with my husband. Especially if I've made her aware of the issue.
Maybe it is time to sit down and have a small ❤️To ❤️ & tell her that all of the things you've mentioned have culminated in the last passive-aggressive straw & that you will be splitting time between her assigned seating and your husband.
To the people on here saying "It's one meal- get over it!", yes it is, but 1) It's a Rehearsal dinner NOT the wedding dinner. Those are to let people mix and mingle and HAVE FUN! A reception is too, but rehearsals are supposed to be more relaxed. 2) As the OP states, she and her husband have limited time together. 3) Our "Darling" Bride has managed to "passive-aggressively" do things to ruin her LOH special events- concert( I don't think I would've given up the tickets personally. But suggested that the event She wanted take place either earlier/other day), Birthday, etc. So, NO Don't allow this- yep Ima goin there: "Bridezilla" to continue to ruin/undermine/make you( & hubby) feel badly. If she Truly IS a friend she will get it- maybe Mannnnnnny years After her wedding!

Wow, this is very weird..

Yeah, I agree this is really weird. We're not doing assigned seating at the rehearsal dinner. I feel like some people don't understand the social importance of sitting with your spouse at functions like this. I remember weddings (not rehearsal dinners) where a friend was seated at the head table and his wife was with us. Obviously we all had fun, but I caught their "I really wish we were seated together" and "I miss you a lot" gazes to each other. FH and I also experienced this at a wedding he was in.

Your friend might have just not thought about it, but as it's likely a more laid-back and relaxed evening, I'd just insist that you really want to be able to sit with your husband! Hopefully she'll understand.

It is kind of weird, but I'd suck it up and just sit at the table she assigned you to for dinner. At least she let you know ahead of time. I would never not go because of this as others have mentioned. If anything, your husband doesn't have to go since he's not in the wedding. Again, weird and not ideal but not worth saying anything to her about.