Not returned Rsvps

If you get married in September I would make sure to call everyone who hasn't rsvp'd IMMEDIATELY . I completely understand what you are dealing with (my dad's entire side of the family including him will not be at my wedding and they told me with 2 weeks notice) .

Anyways, Call quickly because your caterer needs to know and you need to know, not only so you can get another task marked off, but also so you don't put out too many chairs or not enough chairs.

People are so disrespectful. Ugh.I hate that for you!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Emily. I'll do that. Congrats on your wedding.

Are they out of town? I had a lot of my own out of town family decline. But most of my local friends accepted. I doubt it has much to do with the gift. It might also have something to do with when the RSVP's were due... if your wedding isn't for another month, RSVP's shouldn't be due for at least 2 more weeks, to give people time to figure out their work schedules, etc.

But yes, people are super inconsiderate. I had so many guests (mostly family) who didn't plan on coming, and just didn't even bother to let me know or RSVP with their decline.

Date twins! I sent the people who failed to RSVP a quick and friendly message over Facebook or text (calls in some cases) that said: "I noted we hadn't received an RSVP from you and wanted to make sure the invitation reached you. R and I would really like to have you there to share our day."

Most people answered that pretty promptly. Those that didn't I basically wrote off. I figure if they can't let me know with an RSVP or a straightforward reminder, they won't be coming.

When is (was) your rsvp date? If it has passed, you need to contact the non-responders .General etiquette is on a downhill slide and unfortunately it applies to weddings too.

Contact people by whatever method you usually use to communicate with them, but choose your wording carefully " Hi, I am reaching out because we haven't received your rsvp and our caterer needs final numbers. If you are unable to commit we will have to consider you a no and will miss you at the wedding."

If you have to leave a message, text or email, tell them that if you don't hear from them in 24 hours we will have to consider you a no and will miss you at the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thanks that's a great idea.

View Quoted Comment RSVPs due in 2 days. I know there's still time, but I already have wedding anxiety so I'm a bit sensitive right now. But yes, thanks, I will make up postcards and send them in a week or so if I don't get them back. Thanks.

Alas, that seems to be a problem for a lot of people these days. Even for a dinner party, people used to reply either yes or no quickly, then keep to what they said. These days, you'll get a lot of people who don't reply, say "maybe" (which is no help at all), or say they are coming and then flake out at the last moment. I've stopped holding dinner parties at all after one too many times of trying to buy and prepare food without knowing who is coming.

And I think it's even worse with weddings. At least for a dinner party, you know that the host will have to exert some effort on your behalf. With a wedding, a lot of people assume that you already have the hall, and a few meals here or there won't really matter. Of course, it does. But a whole lot of people will wait until the last minute to respond. And a lot won't reply at all, and you'll have to call them once the deadline has passed.

View Quoted Comment I know it's so true. This supposed to be the happiest time preparing for the wedding but really it's been nothing but stress. Between the no responds and the constant maybes, I'm doing nothing but constantly adjusting things for decorations and having to call the caterer. Honestly, I can't wait for it to be over...😯

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I wouldn't recommend postcards. You will be right back where you started- mailing something and asking for a response, which is a waste of time.

Wait until your rsvp date has passed then pick up the phone and actually call and talk to people. Use text or email for those guests with whom you never contact by phone, or for whom you don't have numbers.

Mine is September 7th and I am with you. I had to bug the crap out of people to get my rsvps 2 days AFTER the deadline. It is so rude, I dont get it either. However, we did have a couple who said they never got the invitation, so I am glad I bugged them!

In my RSVP date, I was missing 24 RSVPs. I was giving it a few days before I started reaching out to people who hadn’t responded. Within those “few days” , I was flooded with messages of RSVPs (calls, texts, emails, and received half of them in the mail the week after it was due. By the time I was ready to set out my Follow Up mission, I only had 2 people left that I needed an answer from.

I would definitely do follow up emails/ calls I totally agree it is Rude. Because as some as stated in previous post sometimes it is just the matter of clicking accept or decline. And some guest won't even do that. Good luck with everything.

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I looked at 7 venues, each one of them needed a final headcount before you are saying RSVPs 'should be' due.

OP: I would start calling and texting. I would also start with a super gossipy family member and let it slip in a 'Oh, I understand, you weren't the only one that it slipped their mind. I'm just checking in because I want to make sure to account for you' way. That should get a few others to text you and save you a few calls

Can I just say people sometimes are literally just clueless about RSVPS. I called my friend who I talk to on a regular basis and she told me "I'm supposed to send back the card?" I'm like "YEAH. The prestamped preaddressed card" Mind you this is a woman in her 40s, who just had a wedding 3 years ago. Sometimes people just have no idea, i try not to take it personally. Plus its not even time for me to do follow ups yet but we will cross that bridge when we come to it, I am sure.