Not registering

You could either set up honeymoon or home fund registries or just not register at all and people will get the idea

Us too! We told family and friends and then included a “Gifts” page on our wedding website where I worded it “In lieu of gifts, the couple is happily accepting donations towards a honeymoon fund. They plan to vacation in (location) and will use any contributions towards excursions, etc.”

View Quoted Comment I love how you worded that! I just put that on my wedding website! Thanks!

View Quoted Comment You are so welcome!!

Many people see honeymoon funds and related as rude and no more polite than blatantly asking for cash (regardless if cash gifts are done in your social circle). It's ok to not register, in which case you say nothing. When you step outside the norm, people do not "get the hint". People will buy you gifts anyway and if you don't register, it may be something you don't want and can't return but you accept it graciously with a prompt thank you.
If you've lived together for awhile, why not replace old mismatched linens and appliances?

View Quoted Comment Nearly all of our appliances and decor we purchased when we moved in together. Or they are items that we specifically asked our families for as Christmas gifts the past couple year. We literally have 4 coffee makers lol they’re each for different purposes but trust me when I say we do not need any more stuff in our apartment lmao. I only plan on saying something to the people who ask where we are registered but I needed a polite way to let them know that we would rather take a nice honeymoon than get a fifth coffee maker 🙂

You can say that you are not registered anywhere because you're hoping to buy a house soon and don't know what you'll need yet. They'll get the hint.

I put it on my wedding website that instead of gifts we just want people to come spend the weekend with us.

Do a wishing well! Include an additional card in your invitation suite or have it placed on your website that you’re having a wishing well instead.
It’s an alternative to a gift registry that allows your guests to give monetary gifts if they want to give a gift.
We are doing one for our wedding because we also live together and don’t need anything for the home (and id honestly rather a little money back into our pockets than champagne glasses we will never use). In Australia most people have wishing wells and they go down really well, although in my experience on WW some Americans get antsy about them but the choice is yours!

I would just do a very small registry. It doesn't have to be typical household things, it could be for luggage if you like to travel, items related to a hobby you share, or a few things that you already have but might want to upgrade (like a nicer snow shovel if you live somewhere cold). If you don't register at all, some people will still buy you things, and you may not like or want them. If you have a small registry, at some point there will be nothing left on it for people to buy, and then they'll get the hint. Also, if you tell your parents and bridal party that what you'd really like is cash, when people ask them where you're registered, they can say, "they have a registry at [store], but what they'd really like is a contribution toward their new house fund." It's not okay for you to say that, but it is okay for other people to say it for you.

We did not register either. When asked, prior to our postponement, when asked I said "We are not registered, but there will be a card box". We also opted to not use a honeymoon fund, that just feels really strange. I sure hope the gift buying trend for weddings goes away, I always give cash when invited to a wedding.

If others ask, youay tell them. Anything more, initiating it yourselves, is not polite. It isn't just a matter of " not taking a hint.". The choice of gift has always, always been up to the giver. Registries were started as a marketing tool. Some bride's would like to think it is a shopping list guests must use. It is not. It is s list of suggestions for those who choose to look at it. But people need not pay any attention to it. So not making one, similarly, does not mean anything at all toany people. You cannot dictate gifts, and those who want to give you a physical gift of their choice, or nothing, will do that, not give you money. You could put a billboard up, doest not matter. It is only in this last 20-30 years that it has been considered acceptable, outside of a couple of ethnic groups, for anyone except an older family member to give only money. In most of American areas and ethnic groups, giving all money, not a gift, was viewed as thoughtless, a person who could not be bothered to think of just the right thing their friend or family wanted. Those coming of age to marry now have seen a big changeover in some areas. But it depends on the giver's background, as much or more than your express wish, what people will give you. A lot of people do not seem to realize that computer registries at every store, only came to exist with computer tech changes, since ****, like most wedding websites ( the knot, WW, others.). And less than 20 years does not transform what everyone of every generation will do. 🙂 We had registered for 10 open stock type items. And given parents a wishlist or 6 items. We got 240 off registry, freely chosen gifts. We expected it, and we're happy with all but one, a pretty good track record. But no one just blew things off , as, get something easy, or everyone likes candles. People all shopped for things with a real thought to what we might like. And some older family gave us money and a gift. No one gave us a wedding gift of just money. When you do not make a registry, many will give you money. And many others will take that as a cute to be thoughtful and choose something independently, which is the longer tradition for most. Only TV and social media watchers or the you get age groups have your idea. Many families have not had a wedding in 18-20 years, and computer registries, or giving money, may be a new thing. Don't count on it, unless you know your families usually give money.