Not opening gifts at a bridal shower

I agree with your family.

I didn’t want to open gifts at mine either but my mom quickly told me that I had to. The purpose of the shower is to bring and shower the bride with gifts. The shower is also the only time that people will actually see you open their gift, since they won’t see you open them st the wedding. So basically it’s a nice to do for your guests so they can actually see you react to opening their gift. They’re coming and spending time and money on you. It doesn’t matter if you’ll be bored, these people didn’t have to come. You should open the gifts

I agree with your family. That's kind of the point of a shower - to bring gifts and watch the bride-to-be open them. Put on your best happy face and just do it! 😊

It’s the entire point of the shower.

Consider having an “unwrapped” shower. I went to a baby shower like that once and it was nice to have more time to mingle. The couple stood at the door to welcome guests and acknowledge the gift that was brought. Then it was displayed on a table for all to see.

I agree with your family, and think you should cancel the shower. The whole point of a shower is for some small group of wedding invitees who are especially close to you, to give you a gift, and be with you when you open it. (Unlike wedding gifts, usually delivered.). If you cannot get up the social grace to sit in front of people closest to you and open and thank people in person, then your family should have had a bridal tea, the socializing, but nobody brings any gifts. You want the gifts, but cannot be polite to the givers? Cancel. Rather than throw them out, people will send them to you instead of buying you a wedding gift. But collecting gifts and then being social (no opening) makes them a price of admission to get in to have the privilege of being with you. An ugly thing, which most brides would not participate in. Though heaven knows there are greedy brides and families out there who just want to grab up presents. But your family hosting probably are trying to change your mind because they think what you want is ill mannered. No bride need accept the offer to have a shower thrown for her. But if she accepts, she needs to go along with the hostesses plan. That is, gift opening.

You can always tell people you want gifts not wrapped or clear wrapped, so then everyone can still see what you got and you can run through cards quick but it takes out the unwrapping part

I agree with pps and your family! Honestly, bridal showers aren't typically all that much fun. I go, and bring a nice gift (that I spent time and $ on), to show support for the bride/couple/their parents. I'll play the goofy games and mingle. However, since showers are about gifts, I expect you to open my gift and do a good job at least faking how much you appreciate it. (And, I expect you to send a nice, handwritten thank you note afterward.) If you can't do that without getting "bored", I would definitely cancel the shower....

EDT: Also, I don't know you at all, but my impression of your decision to not open them because "you'll be bored" is NOT at all good. That sounds like the kind of thing a bratty 13-year old would do -- very self-centered. If friends and family are throwing a party in your honor and spending $ on gifts you selected, I think the least the honoree should do is graciously receive the gifts and express appreciation. (I am not calling you self-centered, I am just pointing out how I would likely interpret the behavior.)

View Quoted Comment I'm not trying to be rude or ill mannered. I am just trying to throw a bridal shower that I would like to attend. For me, going to a shower were they spend 2 hours opening gifts is boring and I would rather spend time with the bride or mom to be then watching them open a million gifts. There are no rude intentions here.

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It might not be your intention, but your family told you they think people will be upset and pretty much everyone who has responded to you has told you the same thing. You can still talk/interact with people as you're opening presents! As you open a gift, you can briefly introduce the giver and how they've been a part of your life. It can be interactive. It's only "boring" if you make it boring.

EDT: At daughter's shower they played "gift bingo" while she was opening presents and that helped keep people engaged, because they wanted to fill in their squares. (Before it's time to open gifts, guests get a blank bingo card -- there are tons of cute ones online -- and write a potential gift in each square, then as the bride opens a present they cross off a square, if they had written in that type of gift [e.g., "dish towels"].) The first 3-4 guests who got bingo received prizes and then we played for a "black out"; I'm not sure anyone filled in every square, but there was a prize for the person with the most when daughter finished opening gifts. It's still a "goofy shower game," but another way to keep guests engaged while you're opening gifts.

If I can take the time to shop for a gift, wrap a gift, dress for a shower, drive to and attend a shower, you can take the time to be gracious and open the darn thing at the shower. If you can't be gracious, I would rethink whatever gift I had planned for your wedding.

View Quoted Comment That's a good idea. Again, there are no rude thoughts behind this. It's not like I just want the gifts and forget everyone else. I am very appreciative to everyone who is coming and throwing the shower. I just know from the many showers I've been to, I never really cared for the last part of opening gifts so I thought other people would feel the same way. And i didn't really make that clear in my initial post.

View Quoted Comment All of this!! One of the main reasons I didn't have a shower is because I don't like being the center of attention. If I had opted to have one I would've done the right and polite thing and opened my gifts in front of my guests. Showers aren't a necessity so if a bride has on it's nice if she shows some grace and appreciation to her guests for their attendance and their gift.

View Quoted Comment I like Wed18’s idea. I don’t like having everyone stare at me, but I opened gifts from my guests at the end of my bridal shower. It wasn’t that big of a deal and didn’t take a lot of time. I would think it is odd for a bride to be to not open gifts at the bridal shower.

I think sitting and watching a bride open a blender is super boring! I love my family and friends and want to actually spend time and socialize with them in a way that I might not get to do at the actual wedding. My family simply asked for the gifts to be brought unwrapped. I will obviously still thank every guest for coming and IF they bring a gift then I will be super grateful and thank them enthusiastically! I think it will become less like a performance and train if gfts and allow more time to tell my guests how much I appreciate their gift individually. I'm struggling already with being the center of attention on the actual day of the wedding. Just be grateful for however the gifts are presented and if your family insists on unwrapping after you've expressed your desires, then do it. They are the hosts after all.

I can appreciate how awkward it can be opening gifts in front of people or how long it can take, however, your family is right about this. You just kind of move through it, taking the time to thank as you go. It's really not as bad as it seems going in. You certainly can still socialize with everyone!

View Quoted Comment I always wish that shower hosts would cut their guest lists to a number of people where the bride can spend 3-4 minutes talking to people and opening a gift. If an hour is your max attention span, do not invite more than 20 people. Never invite more than 40, because some can race through that in 1¾ hours, and some will take three. It is possible and usually cheaper to have 2 small showers not one big one. And people who attend are already planning to give you a wedding gift. Only your closest and most intimate friends, plus closest family, should be asked to give you a second present. Yet brides often give lists of their intimate friends with 50 to 80 names on them, incurring huge costs for hostesses. Then complain that it took 3 hours to open gifts, after an hour of gifts and refreshments. And who the heck needs a 4 hour shower. You may not mean to sound impolite. But "I get bored" sure sounds uncaring about the time and effort and money both hostesses and and guests put in to it. How would you feel If you sent out 100 invitations to invite 180 people to your wedding. And only 20 filled out an RSVP, because even though they plan to go, 50 people could not bother to fill it out, or take one minute from their busy Facebook schedule to RSVP online? So you spend two hours a night for 6 nights calling people who did not RSVP, most of whom are coming. And 12 couples actually tell you the reason they could not RSVP by the date was because they did not find out who would be in the NBA playoffs til a week after your reply date. But since their home team did not make it, they will come to your wedding instead of staying home to watch a playoff game on tv. (This happened to my brother in law). Tell me that the fact that so many people you call close cannot lift a finger for you, or put you ahead of a tv game (that they could record!) on their priority list, would not make you upset. You may not intend it, but that would be how many guests and family would feel if you are too easily BORED to open a present and politely converse a minute or 2 with each guest. It might be a good idea to talk to party hostesses and ask that food and presents be first, no games until you have socialized and given attention to each guest. If you never get to games, all will live. But if people have to leave after 2½ hours mid gift opening, home to kids or work, missing games is better than not seeing their gift opening.

I 100% agree with you. I'm not opening gifts either. Instead, my family put a little tag on the invite saying to bring a gift unwrapped, and it'll be be much appreciated. I don't want to sit there for an hour and a half, boring people and going "ohhh" "aahhhh" over a set of towels. Plus it gives people more time to mingle and enjoy the shower. I also personally feel super awkward opening gifts in front of a bunch of people. I hate the attention.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for agreeing with me! I feel like I'm getting ripped to shreds by some people on here!

You're not "getting ripped to shreds...." Your post asked, "What do you guys think?" and people have been pretty polite in telling you they agree with your family. Also, while poster Jax agreed with you that she finds opening gifts boring, in order to avoid that her invitations also suggested unwrapped gifts. Since your shower is this weekend, I'm guessing it's too late for your hostesses to make that request. So, your guests are probably going to show up with wrapped gifts that you will have to unwrap sometime.

Clearly, you're free to do whatever you want, so if you'll be too bored by opening gifts, don't do it. But, based on the responses you received, it's likely at least some of your guests will be unhappy with your choice. You can do what you want, but there might be consequences related to how others perceive your choices. Hope you have a great shower!