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Devoted September 2021

Not Inviting to Shower due to “not Liking?”

Rebecca, on November 20, 2019 at 9:32 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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My mother is hosting our shower in March (I’m so incredibly grateful for her doing it!), and she double checked the potential guest list with me to make sure she wasn’t leaving anyone out. After hearing her go through and explain who she was and wasn’t inviting, I realized she was leaving a ton of people out because she “doesn’t like” them. For example, she’s inviting two cousins, but not their sister because she doesn’t like her, despite all three being on the wedding invite list. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the “right” thing to do. Has anybody dealt with something similar? (We did end up going back and adding the people she wasn’t including because she didn’t like them.)

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on November 21, 2019 at 2:10 PM

Champion November 2016
LB · on November 21, 2019 at 1:00 AM
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You did the right thing going back and adding the people left out. Of course mom, as host, can invite who she wants, but why invite that drama...
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Dedicated September 2021
Ashley · on November 21, 2019 at 6:45 AM
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I totally agree. If they are on the wedding guest list they should be invited to the shower. Mom needs to set her feelings aside. Not inviting them because she doesn't like them is petty. The people she doesn't like may think you are the one excluding them. Luckily you caught it before the invites went out.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on November 21, 2019 at 9:09 AM
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Hey Rebecca!! You were absolutely right to add the 'left out' people to the guest list. Your mom's personal feelings about people should not dictate who and who isn't on the shower guest list, especially when they are invited to the wedding!
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on November 21, 2019 at 9:48 AM
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You did the right thing. Your mom can’t let her personal feelings for people make a mess of your wedding.
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on November 21, 2019 at 9:53 AM
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I agree that if you, the bride, like her, your mom doesn't have a good reason to leave them out.
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Savvy November 2021
Asia · on November 21, 2019 at 10:14 AM
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I think you are in the write for inviting those people. Maybe you can got to lunch with her and talk to her about it. You are the bride, not her. Sometimes people don't realize that they are being petty.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on November 21, 2019 at 2:10 PM
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You did the right thing! I would tell mom that maybe those people will politely decline coming to the shower if the feeling is mutual, and they will just send their gift along, but they need invited or it is considered rude!
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