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Bride2B
Expert June 2018

Not inviting old friends when you weren't invited to their wedding

Bride2B, on January 31, 2018 at 11:42 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

So I'm getting married in June in my college city (I currently live much further away then I would like from it). I invited the people I was closest with (like the people I've seen since, or the people I vacationed with while in school). If i had an unlimited budget I would invite more of them, but my guest list is already 225 with family and people i;m closer with now, like graduate school people and recent coworkers. Many of my old college friends never invited me to their weddings, which is fine, so now I don't necessarily feel the need to invite them to mine even later.

Anyway everything was great until on Facebook the other day I posted something about how expensive it was to get college transcripts, since I still need them for jobs. This one old college friend responded saying "seeing this post made me think of college! we need a reunion!" and tagged like 10 people, only half of which are invited to my wedding. Then some of the ones not invited to the wedding are posting all over my Facebook that we should have it in September. 2 of the girls who are invited live in the city, so it doesn't matter to them. 2018 will be out 9 year reunion year....I might just reply that I want to plan on coming to the 10 year official events the following year.

Maybe I'm over thinking this, I'm just getting a lot of facebook tags right now from the thread and it's causing me a bit of anxiety.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs._S, on January 31, 2018 at 3:27 PM
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    It doesn't sound like any of them have mentioned your wedding. If not, I don't get why you are so worried. Just because they are contacting you doesn't mean you need to invite them. The wedding and any sort of reunion would be two completely different/separate events.

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  • BrandiWeds18
    VIP May 2019
    BrandiWeds18 ·
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    Have a reunion but they don't need to be invited to your wedding. Its not the time to have a reunion or regroup old friendships. Especially with a guest list that high you definitely want to keep it with people you are close to now. If you get really close with any one in particular by time you send out invites then maybe invite, but its not necessary to invite them all. Ask yourself if you would take them out to dinner for the same "per person" price as your venue on any given friday/saturday night.

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2017
    Amanda ·
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    I would stick to your original plan of only inviting your closest friends. Like you mentioned, when there's a budget there has to be a cut off somewhere.

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    You're extremely overthinking it! Them wanting to have a college reunion has nothing to do with your wedding. And while wedding invites are definitely not tit for tat, I'm sure anyone who didn't invite you to theirs will not expect to be invited to yours. And just because you might get together with them sometime between now and your wedding, doesn't mean you should add them to the list. It's perfectly acceptable to have friends or acquaintances that are not part of your wedding. There's absolutely no reason to feel anxious over this.

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  • Bride2B
    Expert June 2018
    Bride2B ·
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    No one has mentioned the wedding on the post, which is awesome. I just clearly can't come down for a reunion 3 months after coming down for my wedding. I'll respond that I think coming back for the 10 year would be awesome. I just feel like I'm lying by omission. I think it's just my overactive anxiety and I'll try to just not think about it Smiley smile

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    You don't need to explain anything to anyone. A simple "sorry guys, can't make this one, hope to catch you all for the 10-year!" will be totally sufficient. It's not a lie at all, and they don't need your reasoning. Smiley smile

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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    If it makes you feel better, I’m not inviting friends who DID invite me to their weddings years ago. If I don’t see them regularly or at least talk regularly, a wedding invite isn’t necessary.
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  • Mozabrat
    Devoted October 2018
    Mozabrat ·
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    I didn't read where the wedding was a topic or an invitation was expected.

    I would go ahead with your own opinion, state that you were planning on the 10 year and maybe state you have too much going on right now to come out. Remember, you do not owe anyone an explanation in life for your choices.

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  • Mrs._S
    Expert April 2018
    Mrs._S ·
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    Don't think you suddenly have to invite them. Think like this: Who do you feel you cannot celebrate your wedding day without? That should weed out a few

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