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Beginner November 2022

Not inviting extended family questions

Sherry, on August 6, 2021 at 8:47 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7
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We are trying to keep our wedding under 60 people due to covid and cost. Most of my family is in Colorado and im not terribly intrested in havng most of the extendee family attend anyway. They cause too much drama at my sister's wedding. Is it appropriate of i have my mom put an engagement announcement in the paper and say: they will have an intimate wedding in the fall of 2022.‽ that way everyone knows we are getting hitch but might not get a invite

7 Comments

Latest activity by Rachel, on August 10, 2021 at 10:34 PM
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    I think the best way is not send engagement announcements at all. Wait and send an announcement after the wedding: "Sherry and ___ were married in an intimate ceremony on (date)."
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Announcements are not sent until after the wedding. But they are optional. If you don’t want to invite them, you don’t have to send announcements either, especially if there is no relationship.


    Don’t send anything before the wedding or people will expect invitations.
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    You honestly don't need to do anything at all. If you feel like you must, then send wedding announcements afterward.

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    I think announcements in the paper is a bit on the outdated side. If you’d like to send wedding announcements after the fact, that will be fine, though no announcement is okay as well.
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    An announcement in the paper is*


    Just editing for grammar
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Expert November 2021
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    Just wait to send out announcements after the wedding. People will assume that they are waiting for a formal invitation when in reality they are not invited.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    I am in a similar situation. We are capped at 20 by our venue, but my FH's aunts and uncles kept insisting on being invited. It was difficult, but when asked we said we were keeping it small and intimate (it also works out since he wouldn't want them there anyway) and there doesn't seem to be any hard feelings.

    For anyone who hasn't directly asked who we had to tell no, we are just sending wedding announcements out after the event.

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