Not inviting certain relatives?!?

I think that's perfectly reasonable. My family isn't quite as big as yours, but I'm not inviting cousins because we're not close.

We did the same. While we don't have huge families, we didn't see the point in inviting people we have no relationship with. My husband has cousins that were close enough to be in our wedding party and cousins he hasn't seen in 20+ years. For us, all or nothing just didn't make sense.

We are doing the same with his family. His grandma has 13 siblings and I think 40 nieces and nephews (MIL's cousins). To invite all of them plus their spouses would be way too much, I didn't even want to invite as many as we did but we cut out the ones my FH doesn't talk to.

We had certain extended family members we did not invite either. I think more people are starting to understand that weddings are super expensive and therefore only having your closest around you makes sense.


If you do happen to get asked at all by those family members, there’s nothing wrong with responding to their question with “Sorry we had to keep the wedding a small affair.” Usually people won’t press further after that.

My fiancé's family is absolutely massive (he has something like 80 cousins).... So we're inviting aunts and uncles but none of his cousins. Helps stay in budget but also doesnt let anyone get left out. its a bit of a bummer since we actually see some of his cousins regularly, but in order to keep it fair we went with just aunts and uncles

I think its very well accepted by today's standards that you don't need to invite 'in circles' as etiquette once suggested.

If you invite one cousin that you see regularly you're not obligated to invite every single cousin including the ones you only see once every 3 years.

Of course, there is always the risk you may offend some people... but if you don't see them anyway, what does it matter? (that was my login anyway!)

We didn't have any complaints really, but whenever the subject was brought up we just explained that our venue could only hold 100 people and as such we couldn't possibly invite all our relatives. We opted to focus on people who we see regularly and who support us in our day-to-day lives and know us both as individuals and as a couple.

In reddit terms, NTA! I've got my own family stuff, and I understand the concern and frustrations with figuring out what's "right." At the end of the day, this is The Day for you and your partner. You're the ones spending money, and you're the ones who should feel happiest on that day.


In short, do what would make *you* happiest. If you're not close with some of those people, don't invite them--especially if they're prone to bringing drama with them.
Wishing you luck

Some families see weddings as family reunions and others do not. If you don’t want someone in attendance, don’t invite them and don’t let anyone bully you into doing anything out of obligation. Parents can arrange a family reunion picnic at a local park that everyone contributes to held at another time if it is that important to socialize with them. Stand your ground and only invite people whom you cannot imagine the day without. If someone doesn’t like it and doesn’t respect your decision, that is a them problem. You are not in the wrong at all.