Not inviting certain children..

Errrr, I think it’s pretty rude to only invite certain children. Word usually gets around and you have to assume they will find out at some point. Which, I feel like they’d be hurt and ticked off, as they should. Invite all or none in my opinion.

It's considered pretty poor etiquette to break up "circles", so like...

Children of wedding party only is OK.

Nieces and nephews only is OK.

Buuut when you start getting in to things like some nieces and nephews are ok and others aren't, etc. you can run into trouble. Sounds like you might be good sticking to nieces and nephews and out of towners only.

I feel the same way. I didn't want certain kids at my wedding either. I just said no kids across the board and told the good kids parents why I decided to make it fair for everyone. At the end of the day it's your wedding. Do what makes you happy, not what everyone else wants.

Aside from the wedding party I don’t think you can invite some kids and not others

View Quoted Comment Yep you can invite in circles, so WP and nieces and nephews and oot guests and not your cousins kids... so no 2d cousins. But if you invite any 2d cousins then you have to invite them.

View Quoted Comment My cousin’s kids aren’t my nieces/nephews and that’s what OP is talking about. And yeah, plenty of kids aren’t cute.

OP, you’re fine to not invite your cousin’s kids, but you need to make sure you’re inviting in circles. WP kids/nieces and nephews are fine, but I don’t think you can invite OOT kids from one family and not others, unless they fall into the WP/ nieces and nephews category.

You cant really tell them the venue says no kids and then have kids there. As a mom that would irritate me more than my kid not being invited.

We made our nieces and nephews the wedding party and then said no other children. We had to make 2 exceptions at the last minute due to childcare issues, but it all worked out.

You don't invite children based on their behavior. Either have kids or don't.

View Quoted Comment Obnoxious out of control children are not cute. Let's stop with the shaming a woman for not fawning over children mmmmkay?

View Quoted Comment Nieces and nephews aren’t the same thing as cousin’s kids. You can invite nieces and nephews without inviting other family kids.

also, kind of ironic you’re the one seemingly off put by OP’s attitude toward these kids.

I'm only inviting nieces and nephews. They are also leaving right after the dinner at the reception because that's what their parents want. Other than that we aren't inviting any other kids. I agree with PP. it's either all nieces and nephews or none. Same with children who are cousins.

Cool Becca I don’t really care. I didn’t say anything about inviting or not inviting children. I said I find it ironic you’re put off by how she talks about certain children (pot, meet kettle)

@M. Hand- I have zero relationship with my sister. My best friend’s children call me Aunt Sarah. I was at the hospital when they were born, they are the closest kids to my own children and my children call my best friend Aunt K. They are my niece and nephew. People’s relationships don’t have to be blood to make them that.

You either allow kids for all or none. I feel it’s rude to exclude only select kids.

Nope don't do it ..its rude and unfair to your other guests. If your doing no kids then its no kids. Wedding party is one thing but not to allow one by saying that and telling another to ignore it ...

I disagree with practically everyone on this site in that I think it's perfectly acceptable to exclude some kids based on their behavior, just as you would choose not to invite some adults based on their behavior.

However if the kids are well behaved and you just don't like them, then I say invite them. If you don't like them because they are little hellions that are not kept under control by their parents and you don't trust the parents to pick them up and exit the room if they cause a scene, then drop the kids from the list and maybe the parents too if that makes not inviting their kids easier.

H and I invited all kids, and trusted the parents to remove the children if any decided to be brats. However, the culture of our family and friends is that kids attend adult events regularly and know how to behave, or their parents step out with them, so we had no issues. We did consider having a babysitter on site for the ceremony, but decided to just invite kids. We didn't care if they were loud during the reception, because the reception is loud and fun anyway. No one would even notice. And it all worked out perfectly fine, we didn't even notice the kids. (There were probably 12-15 kids under 10.)

This may be an unpopular opinion (I am ok with that). This is your wedding, you can invite the kids that are important to you and exclude those who are not (as long as they are not siblings or anything crazy), just like guests. We all say you don’t have to invite that crazy Aunt you don’t like but invite the other - I see no difference. If anyone questions your decision, simply explain how close you are to these children (birth) and you could imagine your day without them there even though you and FH didn’t see this as a child friendly event. Or give them some bogus bridal party title and call it a day.

View Quoted Comment You misunderstood. The kids’ grandparents (my aunt and uncle), their aunt/uncle (my cousins), and several other family members find them darling when they instead have no boundaries, do as they please, and do not listen. I do not find that behavior cute at all. Nothing rude about it. I already know I’m going to catch flak from my fam for not having them be my flower girls, but it’s mine and FH wedding and we know who we want. I do thank you for your advice. Just wanted to clear things up a bit!! If they truly were darling, I wouldn’t be having this issue, lol!!

I think if you do this and don't invite in circles (i.e. actual nieces & nephews/kids in the family/kids of wedding party etc.) you will have some really upset guests. I totally understand what you are saying about them being like nieces and nephews to you, but I could understand if/why some people could be upset with you inviting certain children and not others just because you don't like them. Not saying not to do it, I am just saying it could potentially sour some relationships.

Plenty of these to go around...

We are having the exact same dilemma...FH’s family has a ton of kids and we wouldn’t mind having a few, but if we invite all then the kids might outnumber the adults. In order to avoid hurt feelings and be fair, we just decided to say no children. I will be a little sad my niece and nephew won’t be there, but this means the parents will be able to have fun without worrying about kids the whole day.