We live by New York and his really close friends live in Texas. For the past 2 years I have went out to Texas with him to see his friends. The first time was a wedding. My boyfriend was in the wedding so I was invited as his plus one, this is the first time I was ever meeting them. I was excited but completely overwhelmed because I have pretty bad anxiety. When we got there it was okay but I did have some moments where I got a bit overwhelmed in this new environment. Due to stress and anxiety but it happens to people, not normally but people with anxiety it’s understandable to an extent.
I wasn’t like screaming or crying and causes serious scenes, I would just walk away a lot when I felt uncomfortable or something. Everything was new to me and as an introvert as well, it can be hard adjusting in new places, so In my head I’m just figuring out how to cope but to them… doesn’t look so good.
Now these friends of his are brothers so the wedding we went to the past year was the younger brothers. Now this year the older brother is getting married. The older brother mentions to my boyfriend how he’ll have to come down for his wedding (thinking I’m invited to) he says “if I’m invited of course you are”. Couple weeks past and he tells me that they’re actually keeping a “small” wedding so I will not be invited. I was confused because he recently started dating this girl 4 months ago. I met him before he even knew her. We weren’t close or anything but I was still in shook.
He tells me that his friends aren’t really fond of me… they say that when they first met me all it looked like was that I stressed my boyfriend out. Don’t get me wrong first impressions are everything and it makes sense to think that due to how overwhelmed I was it did seem like it. And I felt completely horrible. But I am learning from my mistakes and my boyfriend understands that. That’s why he stuck with me through it cause he knows my issues and how I am improving my mindset for the better, even though it takes time he knows I can. Anyways, he can see where they are coming from too but basically they’re judging me off that little time they knew me.
Also, the fact that he is marrying someone he started dating 4 months ago (which isn’t crazy I mean If you’re ready you’re ready) but they judge me for the small time they knew me and obviously see we’re still together yet they’re still judging me. It hurts me but my bf says it shouldn’t because they’re not my friends and I should not have to worry but it’s just the fact they say that to begin with. And I want to mention that my boyfriend never dealt with anxiety or anything of that matter so it did take him some time to understand my views. But that’s what relationships are all about… learning and understanding each other.
These friends of his also have a podcast and in this podcast they sometimes talk about anxiety and how they “understand”… like really? Then why are you judging me…lol. They said how they’re “just looking out for him” which is totally understandable because they have known him longer than I have.
I don’t know, I feel bad for the issues I have caused but I truly didn’t mean to, if that makes sense; I hope so. I’m still learning to improve my mindset and how to be more comfortable around others and new environments. But now that I am not invited and won’t be going down there I can’t really show my improvements so they’ll just keep thinking my boyfriend has a stressful girlfriend. Ugh. My boyfriend also isn’t very confrontational, I believe that’s the word but basically he doesn’t like to say a lot to them because he believes it will cause more issues which is understandable. But, his friends do think low of me with barely even knowing me.
Thanks to whoever read all that, I truly appreciate your time and I could really use any advice that would also be greatly appreciated. Have a great day!
